visiting friends that encourage snacking

aruzek09
aruzek09 Posts: 8 Member
edited November 17 in Motivation and Support
Do I visit a friend that wants me to snack as we watch a movie or gab. When I say no she says "oh come on" if I say I'm trying to lose weight she says "you don't need to lose weight" What do I do? I want to stay her friend (she is a recent widow and lonely) but I break down and junk out every time I visit. She doesn't come to my house because she smokes and I don't want smoking in my house. any advice?

Replies

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    edited March 2017
    Boundaries have saved me a few friends. If she values your friendship she will accommodate.

    1. What sorts of non snacking activities do the two of you enjoy?
    2. Your diet choices and weight loss plans are off limits. Tell her so.
    3. Does she want to visit at your house? Have you explained your house rules (no smoking indoors)?
    4. How long a gap between visits?

    Lonely pets are ones that weren't properly socialized when they were young. They are left at home where they can do no property damage. If your young widow wants to go out more she has to learn to accommodate.
  • theowlbox
    theowlbox Posts: 912 Member
    edited March 2017
    Those are good questions and suggestions. If you don't want to confront her or deal with the larger issue right now, tell her you just brushed your teeth, you just used fluoride (and you have to wait 30 mins), your tmj is acting up, you have a painful tooth, you are chewing gum and it doesn't sound good with a minty mouth or that your throat hurts (allergies!), but you'd love a cup of tea. Sometimes just having a drink is enough, but sometimes they want a partner in crime. I can't encourage you enough to examine the relationship, but if you just need an excuse, here are some. Good luck!
  • estherdragonbat
    estherdragonbat Posts: 5,283 Member
    I don't know if this is an option, but when I went to my nephew's birthday party (a small one for family), I brought along a big bag of Skinny Pop popcorn, which was added to the spread. Maybe supply a healthy snack to share when you visit? And eat more of that than the other stuff?

  • Wakeup2014
    Wakeup2014 Posts: 22 Member
    Here is what I do with my one catty friend who likes to sabotage me.....bring a giant Staebucks black coffee and take your time sipping it.....

    Works like a charm
  • _runnerbean_
    _runnerbean_ Posts: 640 Member
    If you know you are visiting save some calories (ie eat only a small lunch) then eat a small portion of her chosen snack. You probably won't be able to measure how much you've eaten exactly but try to make an educated guess then log the snack on mfp. If you only visit occasionally it won't have a big impact on your weight loss, if you visit every day you'll need to skip her snacks sometimes.
    Bringing your own healthy snack to share will also help.
    She probably feels sad that she has no one to share her snacks with, if that's what she used to do often with her husband before he died.
  • aruzek09
    aruzek09 Posts: 8 Member
    Great ideas and help. I think I will put all of them to use just not all at the same time...
  • aruzek09
    aruzek09 Posts: 8 Member
    I think what I am learning in just 3 days of this MFP thing.. is that there is wonderful support out there - thanks
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    Bring a low calorie snack with you.
    Tell her that you would like to hang out with her and she can eat but you are not hungry.
    Chew some gum while you are there if you don't want to eat. Mint gum is most effective for me.
  • caroldavison332
    caroldavison332 Posts: 864 Member
    Tell her that you are eating for strength (greens, hard boiled eggs, colorful veggies) and don't have caloric room for sweets, fatties, etc. DON"T make excuses for life building behavior. You may want to bring the Starbucks as suggested above or to chew gum at her home.

    suggest that you go for a walk, to the museum, wash her car, etc. It's much harder to eat while moving.
  • jessiferrrb
    jessiferrrb Posts: 1,758 Member
    i agree that saying no should be enough, if she doesn't like hearing it then that's really her problem, but i would ask her politely to respect the no. i also think that it's a nice thing to bring snacks when you go to visit. you know she likes snacking and it's a friendly gesture but one that also lets you control what you're eating. you can bring a veggie platter or just carrots and hummus, even crackers and a light cheese aren't too bad if you're controlling the quantity.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    This is 100% about your willpower, and not at all about your friend. Life is full of situations like this and you really need to be able to stick to your, "No thank you."
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