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JesLyn_
JesLyn_ Posts: 6 Member
edited November 17 in Motivation and Support
I don't really know if this fits here specifically but today has been a really hard day for me. I signed my divorce papers and after an 8 year marriage that ended at 29. I feel like such a failure. I've been depressed and anxious. I had to get an anxiety medication which has made it more difficult to loose weight, which is why I'm here. It's just one of those days where I've hit a stumbling block. Life is so hard! The depression takes everything right out of me. I've been able to stay in my calorie limits. I'm not a binge or stress eater. It's just hard to feel motivated anymore.

Replies

  • PL_SM
    PL_SM Posts: 181 Member
    My advice would be pick a specific goal, whether it is a race you want to run, a certain body fat % by a certain date etc. Putting a little bit of pressure on yourself can help motivate you on those days where you don't really feel up to it.
  • Leenizi129
    Leenizi129 Posts: 133 Member
    Know that you are more powerful than you know and capable of even more. Be limitless! I am not one for pity parties, dust off and get moving. This is just a moment in time and then it all changes. Take the higher road ☺️ and stop being so hard on yourself. Oh and for the record, you are not a failure.
  • Graham7679
    Graham7679 Posts: 52 Member
    Chin up keep smiling sorry hear ur news. Focus is big part know it's not easy but u will get there.
    Surrounded urself with positive people to ye always nice have that.
    All the best on ur fitness journey u can do this believe in urself
    Feel free add I wanna I.ll be happy help motivate u best I can
  • AObravo123
    AObravo123 Posts: 66 Member
    Easy to focus on negative. It's your brains way of protecting itself. Try to turn it down, concentrate on the good
  • pamfgil
    pamfgil Posts: 449 Member
    Exercise usually helps depression, so if you can manage some on a daily basis it might make you feel better. A divorce is not necessarily a failure, start thinking about how bad things could have gotten without it
  • 5n00py
    5n00py Posts: 125 Member
    Does your ex feel like a failure, or he's getting on with whatever comes next? It takes two to make a marriage work, and if he was NOT bringing it into the marriage, there is no way you could ever make it work by yourself! Don't own any "failure" as the ex is probably equally or even more to blame. If he told you that it was all your fault that things broke down, don't own that either!

    Learn to be confident in what you do and know that whatever you do is the absolute best you can do. Be proud of everything you achieve. Controlling the kcals and not binging is a big part of daily challenges that you are meeting easily! Rejoice in the little things! You are worth being the best you that you can be for you!
  • NalaBellyFIT
    NalaBellyFIT Posts: 47 Member
    Hi Knox! I am 32 and finalized my divorce a few months ago after a nine year relationship. It is depressing, lonely, and hard not to feel like a failure. We are young, and our peers haven't been there yet. I don't know about you, but I've avoided friends and family at times, simply because I didn't want to answer the questions, or worse, know the questions or comments that people are holding back. I feel like a total jerk saying it, but it's hard to go out with the girls and hear about babies and engagements, and all the while feel like I am starting my life all over again.

    I am still navigating all of this myself, but if I've learned anything, it's to take care of yourself. Be in charge of your happiness, even if it is just in small doses. Try not to worry too far into the future, instead, be happy and feel good one moment at a time. When a relationship has taken up a third of your life, it's hard, but think about the things that made you happy before you were part of a pair. I can't tell you how much I'm loving driving around with an iced coffee and a crappy mix cd from 2002. Instead of mourning what you lost (and I get it, no matter the circumstances, it's a loss), try to appreciate the independence. This life is about YOU. Make the decision to be happy.

    I know it is all easier said than done, but I hope you'll take comfort in knowing that you're not alone. Working out and getting in shape will definitely help, but either way, it will get better. Smile. You're great.
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