Just New Saying hi to all,

This is new to me writing and log food everyday. I have heard a few times before that this can really help you become more mindful of what your eating. I know what to do for I have try many times to lose weight in the pass. I was 320 at one time but I say at 255 for along time! But up right now. I think most of my eating is emotional. "Mind" eating with bad habits! The thing is I know what to do but to follow through is always the wall I hit! It has really hit me hard in my social life. Many times you here about ladies and men with weight issues who are married. Most did when they were young and grew bigger when the years rolled on! But I was a big guy in HS and always felt bad about my size and weight. It may have something to do with my mom who had trouble most of her life with her weight! She 86 now and has diaticalytis that help her to keep her slim now! But when I was in school she joined WW and lost her weight to. I did go then but going to WW as young man was not on my list of things to do! It did make me very self-concept about my weight as a boy watching her with her problems! I do not blame her for my life problems. For she and also my father were loving parent! So here I am now! We all have stories to tale! I went 7 days without eating a few mouths back and did fine. I keep hitting a wall! Could have been a drunk, junky or been in jail for 40 years.... but here I am! My age now I don't want to be alone. I don't like the way my body is now and know I can do better! I know there Millions of people out there who have came through death or lost of a mate or lucky to be wheel chair holding on to life the best they can. I know that I'm ok in a way. We all can't be a movie star or a NFL player can we? I do not hate other people who are. I do not hate fit people. I seem to hate myself? Self hating can be good sometimes but damming also! I feel dam now! I think you have to feel like your dammed to come to a site like this? And you have to hate yourself also? To push you on. I need a lot of pushing! I thank you for reading. I know many of you have had fare more hellish life then mine. I know I know... Peace