Breakups

AnnyisOK
AnnyisOK Posts: 121 Member
I debated with myself on posting this but at the moment I don't know what else to do with myself. How do you deal with a breakup?
It's not my first but prior to this I was single and happy for a very long time, then silly me decided to give relationships another shot and it was going well despite the distance, until one day the person who was a constant in your life is no longer there. I honestly never thought I'd be in this place again so I don't know what to do.

Replies

  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    If you were happy being single, just go back to that.
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  • ShrinkingViolet1982
    ShrinkingViolet1982 Posts: 919 Member
    If you're absolutely sure it's over, then find reasons you're happy that it is. Inconvenient in distance. You didn't like long phone calls. He took 3 days to text back. Whatever. Though we all look at relationships through rosy glasses, there are always faults - it's easier to get past it if you remember some things that drove you mad, and then be happy single as you were.
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,946 Member
    stay away from alcohol, its a depressant. Work out more. Stay busy at work. Don't give a *kitten* for a good week.
  • Pirate_chick
    Pirate_chick Posts: 1,216 Member
    Buy yourself something ridiculously expensive that you want, and go back to being happy and single.
  • diezel67
    diezel67 Posts: 97 Member
    Aw sorry to hear.
  • inertiastrength
    inertiastrength Posts: 2,343 Member
    Long distance never works. Try it to engage in social work and help needy children and orphans and you will see a purpose to life and perhaps meet a good boy.

    It works if the end game is one of the people move. My bf and I started off LDR and he has since made the move.

    OP try and distract yourself but the only thing that will really help is time. You need to get used to not having them constantly "there" sucks :/
  • AnnyisOK
    AnnyisOK Posts: 121 Member
    stay away from alcohol, its a depressant. Work out more. Stay busy at work. Don't give a *kitten* for a good week.

    I think that was part of the problem. It was long distance but both of us were also very busy, too, especially with me having just starting a new chapter in my life.
    fascha wrote: »
    It works if the end game is one of the people move. My bf and I started off LDR and he has since made the move.

    OP try and distract yourself but the only thing that will really help is time. You need to get used to not having them constantly "there" sucks :/

    Thank you. I'm trying. It's just day 1, and I know logically I'll be fine, it's not my first breakup, but it just hurts when you really didn't think it would end. Even with the distance we both knew our goal so as much as it sucked not being together it wasn't that much of an issue, but I guess recently he realized how daunting the hurdles are. We're not just long distance, we're living in different countries and a lot of what is keeping us apart is finance. :(
  • Carillon_Campanello
    Carillon_Campanello Posts: 726 Member
    This thread comes up every so often.

    Build a wall between you and that person. Make no contact.

    Put yourself to work on you. Day and night. Self care.

    Eventually you will pull through. Time varies by every individual. Results not guaranteed.

    Good luck.
  • skinnycow1234567
    skinnycow1234567 Posts: 167 Member
    Keep your mind occupied... Hit the gym,go out with friends..Sitting home sad is not good. Hope you get over it fast..sorry
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    Take a weekend trip to Toronto.
  • kaizaku
    kaizaku Posts: 1,039 Member
    It will take time. Only time will heal.
  • xsmilexforxmex
    xsmilexforxmex Posts: 1,216 Member
    I threw myself into fitness with my ex - my free time was spent working out, meal prepping, trail running, and hiking. Running can be cathartic and gives you time to process without sitting in self-pity.
  • AnnyisOK
    AnnyisOK Posts: 121 Member
    Take a weekend trip to Toronto.
    My ex is Canadian...

    And to the poster who doesn't believe it's a real relationship. That's a lot of assumptions. Lots of couples have to endure distances apart for years, that doesn't make their relationship any less real. He and I did meet in person.
  • IVMay
    IVMay Posts: 442 Member
    Labrador. Great therapy dogs. I can't stress enough how labradorable they are in terms of turning that frown upside down.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    Breakup? Time. Just time. But be social. And of course resist the urge to try and pick up where left off with someone else. That would end even worse.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    trail running, and hiking. Running can be cathartic and gives you time to process without sitting in self-pity.
    <3
  • Carillon_Campanello
    Carillon_Campanello Posts: 726 Member
    IVMay wrote: »
    Labrador. Great therapy dogs. I can't stress enough how labradorable they are in terms of turning that frown upside down.

    And what other breed would tolerate this tomfoolery?

    obrs69dg2652.jpg
  • yusaku02
    yusaku02 Posts: 3,472 Member
    IVMay wrote: »
    Labrador. Great therapy dogs. I can't stress enough how labradorable they are in terms of turning that frown upside down.

    And what other breed would tolerate this tomfoolery?

    obrs69dg2652.jpg
    I have an identical photo of my mutt but can't seem to find it otherwise I'd post it. Might be on the gf's phone :(
    His paperwork says lab mix but he's definitely got some a lot of pit bull in him.
  • IVMay
    IVMay Posts: 442 Member
    lol. That's pretty cool. Like it :)
  • TheJourneyToFabulous
    TheJourneyToFabulous Posts: 381 Member
    It will get easier in time, best thing to do is to try and distract yourself as much as possible
  • AnnyisOK
    AnnyisOK Posts: 121 Member
    IVMay wrote: »
    Labrador. Great therapy dogs. I can't stress enough how labradorable they are in terms of turning that frown upside down.
    Lol I have a dog. I know.
  • inertiastrength
    inertiastrength Posts: 2,343 Member
    AnnyisOK wrote: »
    Take a weekend trip to Toronto.
    My ex is Canadian...

    And to the poster who doesn't believe it's a real relationship. That's a lot of assumptions. Lots of couples have to endure distances apart for years, that doesn't make their relationship any less real. He and I did meet in person.

    So true. You get to know a person much more intimately speaking over time, regardless of distance. Sure beats meeting someone at a bar and being pressured into intimacy after x amount of dates. Don't let this get to you, people are ignorant af.
  • DietPrada
    DietPrada Posts: 1,171 Member
    You need a pint of vodka, and a gallon of ben and jerry's. Have a pity party. Like a proper one. Don't outstay your welcome though. Get it out of your system, pick your self up, and find a new purpose. Preferably one that does not involve relying on another human for your happiness. And trust that when it's right, the right guy will come along. You will NOT be alone forever. Make sure that when he does you're the best you can be, and have something great to offer in return. Took me 40 years to find the right guy, I thought I was going to die bitter and old and alone :P
  • AnnyisOK
    AnnyisOK Posts: 121 Member
    You need a pint of vodka, and a gallon of ben and jerry's. Have a pity party. Like a proper one. Don't outstay your welcome though. Get it out of your system, pick your self up, and find a new purpose. Preferably one that does not involve relying on another human for your happiness. And trust that when it's right, the right guy will come along. You will NOT be alone forever. Make sure that when he does you're the best you can be, and have something great to offer in return. Took me 40 years to find the right guy, I thought I was going to die bitter and old and alone :P

    What's funny is that I stayed single for 6 years because I was happy with myself, I was active (still am) both physically and in the community so saw no reason to enter a relationship. At the same time I spent that time on my own embracing myself and like you said, becoming the best version of myself in the event that someone did come along to change my mind on being single, but not just for this person I did it for me. Then came my ex... and that's why it hurts so much because I thought he was the right guy.
    I'm not afraid of being alone, I've always been a solitary person, it just hurts.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    AnnyisOK wrote: »
    I debated with myself on posting this but at the moment I don't know what else to do with myself. How do you deal with a breakup?
    It's not my first but prior to this I was single and happy for a very long time, then silly me decided to give relationships another shot and it was going well despite the distance, until one day the person who was a constant in your life is no longer there. I honestly never thought I'd be in this place again so I don't know what to do.

    Just find a new guy.

    Start Here: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10538498/hi-ladies#latest
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  • LVNF04
    LVNF04 Posts: 2,607 Member
    Break ups are tough. Especially when you don't want it. Because letting go means you won't be in that person's life, sharing laughter, tender unforgettable moments, strengthen your friendship, your bond. You won't be there to pick them up when the world beats them down, shouldering their pain when they hurt, wiping their tears away. To hold their hand and say it'll be ok. Nope. That's someone else's job now.
  • Carillon_Campanello
    Carillon_Campanello Posts: 726 Member
    What about mfp breakups?

    It's not you. It's selfies.