Need some motivation in a bad way!

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nik433
nik433 Posts: 57
in Motivation and Support
I've been going through a rough patch at home....discussing separation....and it's been destroying my healthy lifestyle efforts! I used to be so motivated and I was almost 15 lbs lighter. Then the summer fun started to come to an end, the weather got cold and the holidays happened. BAM 15lbs all back where they started. I NEVER thought that would happen to me! Now with these recent stresses I just can't muster the motivation to do anything good for myself. I'll have a few good days and then I have this out of body experience where I eat everything in sight to try to fill the emotional void. Right now, there's cookie dough next to me :frown:

Has anyone made it through this kind of rough patch and still reached their goals at the end? Will my midsection survive this?!

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  • nik433
    nik433 Posts: 57
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    I've been going through a rough patch at home....discussing separation....and it's been destroying my healthy lifestyle efforts! I used to be so motivated and I was almost 15 lbs lighter. Then the summer fun started to come to an end, the weather got cold and the holidays happened. BAM 15lbs all back where they started. I NEVER thought that would happen to me! Now with these recent stresses I just can't muster the motivation to do anything good for myself. I'll have a few good days and then I have this out of body experience where I eat everything in sight to try to fill the emotional void. Right now, there's cookie dough next to me :frown:

    Has anyone made it through this kind of rough patch and still reached their goals at the end? Will my midsection survive this?!
  • renae77
    renae77 Posts: 3,394 Member
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    I went thru a separation too and when we first separated I stopped eating all together. Then I decided that it was finally time to take care of myself so that is what I did. I realized that I deserved better than how I had been treating myself. I started watching what I was eating, counting calories, and started going to the gym. I felt so much better about myself and my whole life. I know it is so hard but you can do this. You deserve better! (Not talking about your hubby but about how you treat yourself!) I got a boyfriend over a year later (I dated of course) and filed for divorce. The boyfriend didn't work out and I did get my divorce and then 2 months later my hubby and I got back together and things are better than ever. I don't know how things will go with you and your hubby but I wish you luck. And remember things will get better no matter what happens. Start taking care of yourself first! I am sure you want to do this for yourself and you can! I am here if you ever need anyone to talk to!! Take care and good luck!
  • Priscot
    Priscot Posts: 4
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    I have been separated from my husband for 10 months. After 32 years of marriage this was the last thing I expected in my life. I know where you are and how painful this process can be ... but you WILL survive. You just need to focus on one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time.

    I spent many nights crying and eating out of loneliness, but every day the sun comes up and you have a gift to start anew. Focus on doing things for yourself - emotionally, spiritually and physically. You CAN do this - hang in there and God Bless.
  • amunet07
    amunet07 Posts: 1,245 Member
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    I agree... this is the time to focus on yourself. I know that like most women you put yourself on the back burner to take care of your hubby and spent time with him... now is the time to focus on you. Find out who you are again... who you want to be... do the things you wanted to do but didn't ... take bubble baths, paint your toes, have many get-togethers with your girl friends... try something new and meet new people. This will make you feel good about yourself, get your mind off the troubles, and show your hubby that you are a strong and interesting person that takes pride in herself and so should he... and if it doesn't work out... he will see that you love yourself and that is what counts!

    I just went through a nasty 2.5 year divorce (restraining order the whole bit) I did gain weight during it...but I didn't have MFP or my cyber friends here. Its still not a year since my divorce has been final and I've lost 27 lbs... You can do this! :flowerforyou: :drinker:
  • nik433
    nik433 Posts: 57
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    Thanks guys! It's good to know that there can be a light at the end of the tunnel. As if weight loss wasn't hard enough to begin with! How come it took me 6 months to lose the weight the first time and 2 months to put it back on?! Totally not fair.
  • StephenB
    StephenB Posts: 7 Member
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    They say that living well is the best revenge. I'm not saying you should seek revenge, but living well (i.e. living a healthy lifestyle) is one of the best ways to feel good about yourself. When you binge or simply don't do what you know you should do to stay healthy, you fall into this cycle of not taking care of yourself, feeling bad about it, becoming depressed, and doing even less to take care of yourself.

    Working out creates natural endorphins. Endorphins are a natural high or pick me up. When I get stressed out, I work out and do some thinking and reflecting on what I need to do. By the time I'm done working out, the endorphins have kicked in and I feel better about pretty much everything. Even if you come back home to a situation that hasn't changed, you don't feel as badly about it (because the endorphins are helping you feel a little better AND you didn't stay home eating yourself into oblivion).

    So...go work out and think about how much better you're going to look and feel when you start seeing the results. YOU CAN DO IT!
  • NWCountryGal
    NWCountryGal Posts: 1,992 Member
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    You have taken a huge step in writing to us here. For me, that is the hardest part, that first step. It may not be of much comfort to hear but you aren't alone, no matter how you may feel. No one can actually put themselves in your shoes darlin but we all have our "battles". I hope you won't disapprove but I am going to say a prayer for you right now after I sign this note. I am battling disappointment in my life and even asking myself is the God I believe in still with me. Im gonna pray as if I know He is listening though, for you Nik. Hang in there and keep posting. There's always someone around here that cares.

    denise in OR

    Thanks guys! It's good to know that there can be a light at the end of the tunnel. As if weight loss wasn't hard enough to begin with! How come it took me 6 months to lose the weight the first time and 2 months to put it back on?! Totally not fair.
  • NWCountryGal
    NWCountryGal Posts: 1,992 Member
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    This is good stuff Stephen, I just wanted to say that it looks as if the endorphins have done wonders for your bod but I would cut back on the women's estrogen. That should take care of all that "unwanted" hair:laugh:

    They say that living well is the best revenge. I'm not saying you should seek revenge, but living well (i.e. living a healthy lifestyle) is one of the best ways to feel good about yourself. When you binge or simply don't do what you know you should do to stay healthy, you fall into this cycle of not taking care of yourself, feeling bad about it, becoming depressed, and doing even less to take care of yourself.

    Working out creates natural endorphins. Endorphins are a natural high or pick me up. When I get stressed out, I work out and do some thinking and reflecting on what I need to do. By the time I'm done working out, the endorphins have kicked in and I feel better about pretty much everything. Even if you come back home to a situation that hasn't changed, you don't feel as badly about it (because the endorphins are helping you feel a little better AND you didn't stay home eating yourself into oblivion).

    So...go work out and think about how much better you're going to look and feel when you start seeing the results. YOU CAN DO IT!
  • nik433
    nik433 Posts: 57
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    You guys are all so positive! I really needed that! I'm pretty sure today was "rock bottom" so to speak. I do appreciate the prayers, I need all the help I can get. I'm sure God prefers me happy and healthy, versus what I'm like today :ohwell: It's very comforting to know there are so many of you on here that have been in my shoes and still managed to come out okay. Noone can prepare you for this kind of thing! I do feel better when I exercise so I think I'll use the exercise as my stress relief, rather than food, from now on. Wish me luck!
  • heal4444
    heal4444 Posts: 709
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    Tks for reaching out to others. I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Never married but sure have gone thru my heartbreaks, breakups with guys. It's the toughest time of year with Valentine's Day coming. On another thread regarding V's Day, I wrote that I'm going to remind myself that to love#1. Love myself like the W.Houston song. To love yourself is the greatest love of all. Hang in there. Tks for sharing with us your challenges both in your love life and your weight. Stay strong. :flowerforyou:

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