How do I get over this?

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I have lost a pretty good bit of weight. I have lost 49 pounds this year using MFP. But I have lost a total of 82 pounds. The sad part is when I look in the mirror I still see the 355 pound me. I am now 273 ish. I know I am losing weight I can tell in my clothes. When am I gonna be able to see it? I know this is all in my head. Has anyone else experienced this issue? If so...how long does it take to get over my own insecurities?

Replies

  • makemetinyplz
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    I have but I've had an eating disorder. I'm not saying that you do, but I think a distorted body immage is what causes it. Congrats on the weight loss though!
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
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    First of all CONGRATS 2 u! Great job! I sooo know how u feel! I will never see myself "small/skinny" enough! I truly believe in BDS (Body Dismorphic Syndrome sp?)
  • thenewkarisa
    thenewkarisa Posts: 207
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    compliments from people really help a lot for me.... it depends on each person... you just gotta be happy and not worry about other people.... maybe your happiness will come when you can get into a size 7 or something like that...
  • adamcf
    adamcf Posts: 126
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    losing the weight will never get you over the insecurities. insecurities are emotional weight. figure out what that is in yourself and you can lose that weight too.

    You are already good. you just need to see that in the mirror before anything else.
  • RubyHearts
    RubyHearts Posts: 67
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    To be honest i have no idea. I started at 200 pounds i'm now 159 and i still see that 200 pound girl in the mirror. I think it starts with you, i've always had insecurity problems. My whole life i've been teased and my father even called me fat when i was younger. I don't know about you but i dont think i'll feel good until i hit my goal weight. Which is a horrrible way of looking at things, i should be happy i've come this far. So even though it might not register right away, pat yourself on the back for how far you've come. You've done great and you're on a great path! You should celebrate mini goals until you reach your goal (i should practice what i preach)
  • brandiuntz
    brandiuntz Posts: 2,717 Member
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    Have you ever taken two pictures of yourself...one at your heaviest and a recent one, where you've lost the weight, and put them side by side?

    Do that and examine the differences in the pictures. That will help you see them on your body.

    Take your measurements. Think about the inches you've lost off parts of your body.

    Finally, separate from weight loss, start thinking about all your insecurities and how you can overcome them. Work on your self-esteem. That will help you see you for who you really are.
  • Blabob
    Blabob Posts: 15 Member
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    My guess is that you are seeing it but denying it, maybe because you aren't yet where you want to be. Losing 24% of your total weight is a pretty major accomplishment. Take your successes where you can so that you stay on track. Don't make me do that "It didn't go on overnight" speech. In your head you know the losses are there.

    I'm proud of you.

    Bob
  • hayremom
    hayremom Posts: 9 Member
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    I don't know if it's worse to "see" yourself as still fat, or not to see yourself as fat. My body image is skinnier than I really am. I am almost always surprised when I see myself in the mirror---surly tat large person is not me!! Anyone else have this problem?
  • arh0117
    arh0117 Posts: 185 Member
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    I'm right the opposite....I still see the 160ish pound girl in the mirror, but when I look at pictures I am disgusted! :noway: I know that I need to lose weight, but I just don't see it when I look in the mirror. I guess I'm just messed up in the head. Congrats to you though for such a great journey so far. Keep up the good work and you'll get there one day! ;)
  • ashleymmc20
    ashleymmc20 Posts: 39 Member
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    Please believe me when I say that I don't mean to sound insensitive at ALL... but to be completely honest with you, it sounds like you may have a disorder. Your picture looks absolutely stunning.. You're a beautiful woman. I truly think anyone would agree with that. Sometimes losing weight is not the thing that makes us feel different - you need an inner change, too. You need to be able to FEEL it, let it motivate you, let it get you up in the morning. Our images can change many times, but it is only when we feel the change from the inside that it is truly worth all the hard work. You will get there!
  • jpeper1966
    jpeper1966 Posts: 79
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    Self image can change from day to day. Some days I feel and look normal in the mirror. Then other days I just see flaws. Just concentrate on how much BETTER you look and feel, not just on how you look. I hope that makes sense to you.

    You have come a long way. You get smaller faster as you get closer to your target weight. This is because the lighter you are, one pound is a larger percentage of your body weight. This is also why those last pounds are a little harder to lose.

    It is all worth it, just keep going and one day the new you will just show up in the mirror.
  • LoveMy3Boys
    LoveMy3Boys Posts: 562 Member
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    I have a serious distorted body image. When I am heavy, like now, I think I am smaller than I am and some mirrors make or break that image but pictures for me tell the reality. When I was my thinnest in my adult life I thought I was huge! It was after I lost a significant amount of weight. I would still hide behind hoodies and stuff. Ugh.I hope when I get down to a healthy weight I will see a healthy woman in the mirror.

    I think it just takes time. Maybe you need to lose more weight, if you have a lot more to lose, and you will start to see it :) Hang in there!
  • sharonus
    sharonus Posts: 102
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    I think it just takes time. I'm about half way to my goal, but when I look in the mirror, I still see the old me. If I see a picture of myself, I do believe I look thinner, but somehow the mirror isn't telling me that. If you've had extra weight on you for a long time, I think it just takes some time with the weight gone to get used to the "thinner" you.
  • sschiano
    sschiano Posts: 48 Member
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    I think once you reach your healthy weight range for your height the difference will be drastic, i know it sucks but tough it out and keep on doing what you're doing DONT STOP. In a way you dont want to see the difference because theres a chance you'll 'settle' thinking "well i look better than before, i can take a day off.." you weigh yourselt the next day "look at that!! im still good!!!".... few days "3 lbs is nothing!!!!" and so on and you've gained the weight back. focus on getting to the healthy range then you'll defenetly see a difference and work on maintaining that.
  • debbiebilka
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    A few years ago, I lost over 100 pounds and after being extremely overweight for so long, I felt the same way you do and sometimes still do. First of all - congratulate yourself for doing so well - 82 pounds is incredible! Surround yourself with people who give you positive strokes. Stay away, as much as possible, from haters. I don't know why, but there are a lot of people out there who really don't like it when we lose weight. Ignore them as much as you can. (I worked with one - she was my boss - that is where your supporters come in handy) Treat yourself to something new - you don't want to buy a lot of clothes as you are melting away - but new earrings, perfume, make up, etc. Keep active - join a meet up group that shares your interests. Don't look back. Keep your thoughts positive. I know some of it sounds a little hokey, but positive self talk helps - tell yourself you're happy, you're beautiful, etc. :happy: :happy:
  • squeak1989
    squeak1989 Posts: 29
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    It's possible that it might just take a while. I know that when I lost a lot of weight it took my mind a long time to catch up with my body. It's only a year later that I've actually come to be able to appreciate myself as smaller and not the 200+ pounds I'd been for the previous 5 years. You've lost alot of weight and that takes getting used to. For me it helped to compare pictures of the "old me" with the new me, because comparing two pictures infront of you is far more objective than comparing the image you see in the mirror with the mental one in your head.

    Sadie
  • corymomma
    corymomma Posts: 405 Member
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    I don't know what to tell you, but hopefully the day will come that when you do look in the mirror you will see the difference and think damn I look good! I know this is why I refuse to have a full size mirror in my apt. I have a mirror over the bathroom sink, and a couple compacts for makeup, but that is it. When I see my reflection I just want to be sick. I know I'm not small (my clothes tell me that), I just hope that someday I will have lost the 100+ lbs I have to lose, and I will be able to look in the mirror and go hey look at that, who is that again?

    I put up with my parents telling me how fat I was from a young child. My mother even told my future (now my ex) mother-in-law "she's too fat to get married, she'll never be thin enough to walk down the aisle". I had to put up with my sister who was a size 2, who always said anyone over a size 4 was an elephant and should be shot, and she would say this to my face. Of course then my mother would tell me she didn't know what she was saying, she wasn't directing it at me. While in the next breath she would be telling me how easy it would be for me to "lose a few pounds and be pretty, because noone wants or likes a fat girl".

    So do I know where you are coming from? Yes...it's tough, but we have to stick together.

    You've come a long way! Eventually you will see it. And you will be proud of it.

    Best of luck, and stick to it!
  • hush7hush
    hush7hush Posts: 2,273 Member
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    I went from 230 to now 180.

    I still pick up size 13 pants, and XL shirts when shopping, even though I'm now a size 9, medium-large shirts.

    I still consider myself obese, even though I'm overweight.

    I still freak out whenever anyone mentions photos, even though I only have one chin, now.