Sometimes I have to throw things away, and ban myself from "trigger foods".

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Geocitiesuser
Geocitiesuser Posts: 1,429 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Rant on

It is the most ridiculous thing. As long as I'm eating clean I have great will power and feel pretty satisfied. The savory flavor of non starchy veggies and pan fried meats fills me up and keeps me happy. A pound of most of veggies is so low on the calorie scale that I often eat a whole steamer bag with my chunk of meat, and life is wonderful.

Then, like the genius I am, knowing better, I find myself in the recipes section of the forum. Low Cal protein cheesecake, sounds wonderful, I love cheese cake! Inner fat me starts getting excited.

A few weeks ago I tried the recipe as described. Ate the whole damn thing and felt bad about myself. The weekend after that I made two more variations, ate them both, and felt bad about myself. The third weekend I found myself once again playing scientist trying all sorts of different "cheesecake" recipes.

It's gotten out of hand. My weekend food logs are completely ridiculous now. All sugar/carbs/sweets. Just one bite of sweets and it's like I"m a ravenous animal. I can't sleep at night thinking about the cheesecake in the fridge. This weekend I started branching out into sugar free pudding. PUDDING. What the hell is wrong with me!

So, suffice to say, I have half a can of fat free reddi whip, about a cup of fat free milk, and like a fifth of some monstrisity I made consisting of cream cheese and pudding and greek yogurt. IT HAS TO GO.

No more of this sugar crap. Real or not, it does something so messed up to my brain that I suddenly can't control my self. It's embarassing and it's shameful!

NO MORE SUGAR, NO MORE FAKE SUGAR, NO MORE SWEETS AND JUNK MY GOD. I've lost 124 lbs (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and I'm only 15lbs away from my goal, and I'm over here sabatoging myself with horrible behaviors that I never even had when I was fat. At least when I was fat and indulgent I was eating things I liked. This is me just mindlessly gorging on disgusting low fat fake sugar processed junk! I'm angry at myself!

Rant off
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Replies

  • Blitzia
    Blitzia Posts: 205 Member
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    Don't be too hard on yourself, I think a lot of people can relate. I certainly can - I've gone through a couple of culinary experiments trying to make desserts out of PB2, stevia, and flour that's got so much fiber it might as well be paper. The "cookies" I've made have yet to approach a consistency even close to any cookie known to man, but for some reason, eating one "cookie" makes me want to eat a second, and soon I've eaten the whole batch in only a day or two.

    I'm with you on the pudding too. I don't even like pudding and sometimes it even grosses me out a bit, yet I can't stop myself buying it hoping maybe this time it will be delicious.

    I think you just have to do whatever works for you. If that means eliminating all sweets and that's something you can stick with, go for it. For me, I'm trying to cut out the culinary experiments and stick with desserts like Halo Top. I don't think I could stick with it if I cut out all sweets and Halo Top doesn't wreck my deficit and is still tasty enough to not leave me desperate for more sweets.
  • Geocitiesuser
    Geocitiesuser Posts: 1,429 Member
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    I'm just throwing away the bad stuff :) I'm not in danger of derailing because this horrid crap was never part of my diet even when I was much fatter. There's something in these fake sweetners and junk food that tweak me out in a bad way.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
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    Ha i made that same cheesecake twice, both times it never even made it in the freezer! I made a peanutbutter version knowing full well that PB is my nemesis.

    OP you are not alone, there are certain things that i refuse to bring in the house, because i know my willpower will dessert me when they are taunting me. Out of sight, out of mind works for me.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    Christine_72 wrote: »
    Ha i made that same cheesecake twice, both times it never even made it in the freezer! I made a peanutbutter version knowing full well that PB is my nemesis.

    OP you are not alone, there are certain things that i refuse to bring in the house, because i know my willpower will dessert me when they are taunting me. Out of sight, out of mind works for me.

    Pardon the pun? ;)

    I know exactly how you feel OP. I've been eating some extraordinary crap lately, stuff that doesn't even appeal to me, for no real reason.
  • annacole94
    annacole94 Posts: 997 Member
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    If it's not something you want in your life, then avoid it. Some people moderate. Some people abstain.
    http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

    I will agree that if you do want a treat, make it a single portion where you're supposed to eat the whole thing. Go out, get one of the thing you really want, enjoy it, and then it's over. All gone, done, and not tormenting you from the fridge.
  • Fflpnari
    Fflpnari Posts: 975 Member
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    I can't have any sweets around unless the entire/package/recipe can fit in my calories. I lost a bunch a weight a long time ago and my cravings changed.(why I'm back here, gained 80 pounds back)

    Go cold turkey get rid of everything that will tempt you...
  • IrisFlute
    IrisFlute Posts: 88 Member
    edited April 2017
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    Big congrats on losing 124 lbs! Maybe you're one of the people who (like me) has better success with just avoiding almost all sweeteners - of whatever type - completely while I'm losing weight. I have a personality where completely swearing off certain foods just works way better for me than trying to fit the treats I love into my calorie allowance. I'm the exact opposite of the "don't restrict too much or you'll derail" type people. For me, I stick to my goals way better and stay happier if I just don't even touch a dessert-type food. It's like moving to a different planet for a while.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
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    annacole94 wrote: »
    If it's not something you want in your life, then avoid it. Some people moderate. Some people abstain.
    http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

    I will agree that if you do want a treat, make it a single portion where you're supposed to eat the whole thing. Go out, get one of the thing you really want, enjoy it, and then it's over. All gone, done, and not tormenting you from the fridge.

    I'm an abstainer and a moderator i guess. I wont buy chips, pretzels, dip, peanut butter cups, nuts and other mindlessly snacky things, because i know if they're in my pantry i'll eat the whole bag.
    But if I'm visiting someone where those items are spread out on the table, then I'll eat them. Our social outings are very rare, so this works for me.
  • MoiAussi93
    MoiAussi93 Posts: 1,948 Member
    edited April 2017
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    I'm the same way. There is just something about sugar and most sugar substitutes that sets off massive cravings for more. I deal with it by just not bringing junk into the house. If I want something once in a while, I will get a single serving when I'm out...like dessert at a really good restaurant known for its desserts. Or a single scoop of ice cream from an ice cream shop. That is fine on rare occasions, but if I buy a pint for home it doesn't work.

    I've accepted it...just don't bring it home. It works perfectly.

    As for recipes...what i have learned to do when I want to try a sweet recipe is make 1/3 or 1/4 of the recipe. Instead of a cake, I will make a few mini cupcakes. Instead of a cheesecake, try making two or three mini cheesecakes in silicone molds. I've even done that with brownies. It works very well for me...enough for 2 or 3 servings. If I overeat and eat all of it, it still doesn't totally ruin my calorie budget for the day.
  • IrisFlute
    IrisFlute Posts: 88 Member
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    MoiAussi93 wrote: »
    As for recipes...what i have learned to do when I want to try a sweet recipe is make 1/3 or 1/4 of the recipe. Instead of a cake, I will make a few mini cupcakes. Instead of a cheesecake, try making two or three mini cheesecakes in silicon molds.

    Oh, I forgot ... I totally do this too, only while I'm maintaining -- not while I'm losing. But yeah, living alone, it's great. I have recipes for six teeny-tiny homemade donuts, and for a miniature pie, and for five cookies. That way I get the whole experience without having to rely on self-discipline.

    Those tiny containers of Haagen Dazs ice cream are good for that as well. I bring one home at a time.

  • CynthiasChoice
    CynthiasChoice Posts: 1,047 Member
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    Several years ago, I had achieved a 98 pound loss. Then I invited family to my home for Thanksgiving. I began trying out recipes, and all my good habits began disintegrating. Then there were leftovers after Thanksgiving...Then the Christmas candy arrived from Germany, and See's candy from my boss. I was completely undone.

    Since then I've had several large gains and losses. What I've learned is that I have to always be an abstainer. Once the sugary foods hit my bloodstream I turn into my evil twin. When I don't consume desserts, I'm happier, in control, and at peace with myself.

    I'm at 90 days without the white stuff now, and I still have to learn to make my "move to another planet" (as IrisFlute so beautifully said!) permanent.

    Environment is really important. Keep it out of your house!
  • loftus4827
    loftus4827 Posts: 54 Member
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    Oh god I do this with peanut butter. Like some of the other posters said, it just can't be brought in the house or I WILL eat 6 or 7 servings of it in one session...

    Stop making the cheesecake. Just stop it. If you're gonna eat dessert than have 1 serving of real cheesecake and enjoy the heck out of it without guilt
  • CynthiasChoice
    CynthiasChoice Posts: 1,047 Member
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    annacole94 wrote: »
    If it's not something you want in your life, then avoid it. Some people moderate. Some people abstain.
    http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/


    Thanks so much for the link to Gretchen Rubin's article. I thought it was amusing when she said that the abstainers and the moderators try to convert each other to their way of thinking. I've noticed a lot of that on MFP.
  • endlessfall16
    endlessfall16 Posts: 932 Member
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    Is cheesecake easy to make at home? What's the appeal of homemade cheesecakes?

    For 15usd I can get variety...

    e300d2c6-1560-4f3f-b3c8-84b401b36447_1.a38e91eb7c7f767938fbb68fcd0711cb.jpeg?odnHeight=450&odnWidth=450&odnBg=FFFFFF
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    endlessfall16 wrote: »
    Is cheesecake easy to make at home? What's the appeal of homemade cheesecakes?

    For 15usd I can get variety...

    e300d2c6-1560-4f3f-b3c8-84b401b36447_1.a38e91eb7c7f767938fbb68fcd0711cb.jpeg?odnHeight=450&odnWidth=450&odnBg=FFFFFF

    Decent cheesecake can be tricky, unbaked is easier than baked, generally because the baked involves a water bath to prevent cracking, though I often don't use a water bath and it comes out fine.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    That low calories cheesecake is really not bad though... it's low carb, not overly sweet, and has good macros.

    But OP... it's going to be a lifelong problem. The question is... what will you do when you lose your last 15 lbs? Are you going to ban those things forever? I have self control issues on desserts/baked goods too but 'manage' them by staying active. I like that stuff too much to give it up forever.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
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    Uhh. ok. Good Luck to you.
  • SashaQ1381
    SashaQ1381 Posts: 35 Member
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    Congratulations on the 124lb loss. The last 15lbs are always the hardest, eh?

    I know what you mean about your dessert dilemma. I have to consciously discipline myself every step of the way. What I have noticed works for me is to portion control only. And sometimes that is a hard job. So to do that successfully, anytime I make something that I know will go nowhere fast, I will immediately section off the items and store them away in the freezer (like another poster suggested), or give it away to family, or pack it away to take it to work. It also helps to cook these kinds of things on weeknights.

    It's a long and dedicated process. Yesterday someone at work brought a homemade dessert to die for! I walked right past it. But of course, someone was 'kind' enough to bring it to my desk! Haha! So I simply sectioned off a small piece and IMMEDIATELY threw the rest of it out in the garbage. That way I only had that one tiny piece.

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