Sometimes I have to throw things away, and ban myself from "trigger foods".
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Posts: 1,429 Member
Rant on
It is the most ridiculous thing. As long as I'm eating clean I have great will power and feel pretty satisfied. The savory flavor of non starchy veggies and pan fried meats fills me up and keeps me happy. A pound of most of veggies is so low on the calorie scale that I often eat a whole steamer bag with my chunk of meat, and life is wonderful.
Then, like the genius I am, knowing better, I find myself in the recipes section of the forum. Low Cal protein cheesecake, sounds wonderful, I love cheese cake! Inner fat me starts getting excited.
A few weeks ago I tried the recipe as described. Ate the whole damn thing and felt bad about myself. The weekend after that I made two more variations, ate them both, and felt bad about myself. The third weekend I found myself once again playing scientist trying all sorts of different "cheesecake" recipes.
It's gotten out of hand. My weekend food logs are completely ridiculous now. All sugar/carbs/sweets. Just one bite of sweets and it's like I"m a ravenous animal. I can't sleep at night thinking about the cheesecake in the fridge. This weekend I started branching out into sugar free pudding. PUDDING. What the hell is wrong with me!
So, suffice to say, I have half a can of fat free reddi whip, about a cup of fat free milk, and like a fifth of some monstrisity I made consisting of cream cheese and pudding and greek yogurt. IT HAS TO GO.
No more of this sugar crap. Real or not, it does something so messed up to my brain that I suddenly can't control my self. It's embarassing and it's shameful!
NO MORE SUGAR, NO MORE FAKE SUGAR, NO MORE SWEETS AND JUNK MY GOD. I've lost 124 lbs (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and I'm only 15lbs away from my goal, and I'm over here sabatoging myself with horrible behaviors that I never even had when I was fat. At least when I was fat and indulgent I was eating things I liked. This is me just mindlessly gorging on disgusting low fat fake sugar processed junk! I'm angry at myself!
Rant off
It is the most ridiculous thing. As long as I'm eating clean I have great will power and feel pretty satisfied. The savory flavor of non starchy veggies and pan fried meats fills me up and keeps me happy. A pound of most of veggies is so low on the calorie scale that I often eat a whole steamer bag with my chunk of meat, and life is wonderful.
Then, like the genius I am, knowing better, I find myself in the recipes section of the forum. Low Cal protein cheesecake, sounds wonderful, I love cheese cake! Inner fat me starts getting excited.
A few weeks ago I tried the recipe as described. Ate the whole damn thing and felt bad about myself. The weekend after that I made two more variations, ate them both, and felt bad about myself. The third weekend I found myself once again playing scientist trying all sorts of different "cheesecake" recipes.
It's gotten out of hand. My weekend food logs are completely ridiculous now. All sugar/carbs/sweets. Just one bite of sweets and it's like I"m a ravenous animal. I can't sleep at night thinking about the cheesecake in the fridge. This weekend I started branching out into sugar free pudding. PUDDING. What the hell is wrong with me!
So, suffice to say, I have half a can of fat free reddi whip, about a cup of fat free milk, and like a fifth of some monstrisity I made consisting of cream cheese and pudding and greek yogurt. IT HAS TO GO.
No more of this sugar crap. Real or not, it does something so messed up to my brain that I suddenly can't control my self. It's embarassing and it's shameful!
NO MORE SUGAR, NO MORE FAKE SUGAR, NO MORE SWEETS AND JUNK MY GOD. I've lost 124 lbs (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and I'm only 15lbs away from my goal, and I'm over here sabatoging myself with horrible behaviors that I never even had when I was fat. At least when I was fat and indulgent I was eating things I liked. This is me just mindlessly gorging on disgusting low fat fake sugar processed junk! I'm angry at myself!
Rant off
6
Replies
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Don't be too hard on yourself, I think a lot of people can relate. I certainly can - I've gone through a couple of culinary experiments trying to make desserts out of PB2, stevia, and flour that's got so much fiber it might as well be paper. The "cookies" I've made have yet to approach a consistency even close to any cookie known to man, but for some reason, eating one "cookie" makes me want to eat a second, and soon I've eaten the whole batch in only a day or two.
I'm with you on the pudding too. I don't even like pudding and sometimes it even grosses me out a bit, yet I can't stop myself buying it hoping maybe this time it will be delicious.
I think you just have to do whatever works for you. If that means eliminating all sweets and that's something you can stick with, go for it. For me, I'm trying to cut out the culinary experiments and stick with desserts like Halo Top. I don't think I could stick with it if I cut out all sweets and Halo Top doesn't wreck my deficit and is still tasty enough to not leave me desperate for more sweets.4 -
That can be hard I understand that very well what I would recommend is not to restrict too much or youll eventually de-rail and wont stop yourself after the weekend.
Maybe once a week treat yourself to a 1 serving sweet from a local bakery or restuarant so then you dont have the option to eat the entire thing but you still get to splurge a little?5 -
I put portions of tempting food I make in the freezer. Then I don't feel I have to eat it all today before it spoils. Being frozen makes it harder to eat it on impulse. Thawing takes time and maybe a second thought.5
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I'm just throwing away the bad stuff
I'm not in danger of derailing because this horrid crap was never part of my diet even when I was much fatter. There's something in these fake sweetners and junk food that tweak me out in a bad way. 1 -
Ha i made that same cheesecake twice, both times it never even made it in the freezer! I made a peanutbutter version knowing full well that PB is my nemesis.
OP you are not alone, there are certain things that i refuse to bring in the house, because i know my willpower will dessert me when they are taunting me. Out of sight, out of mind works for me.2 -
Christine_72 wrote: »Ha i made that same cheesecake twice, both times it never even made it in the freezer! I made a peanutbutter version knowing full well that PB is my nemesis.
OP you are not alone, there are certain things that i refuse to bring in the house, because i know my willpower will dessert me when they are taunting me. Out of sight, out of mind works for me.
Pardon the pun?
I know exactly how you feel OP. I've been eating some extraordinary crap lately, stuff that doesn't even appeal to me, for no real reason.1 -
If it's not something you want in your life, then avoid it. Some people moderate. Some people abstain.
http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/
I will agree that if you do want a treat, make it a single portion where you're supposed to eat the whole thing. Go out, get one of the thing you really want, enjoy it, and then it's over. All gone, done, and not tormenting you from the fridge.3 -
I can't have any sweets around unless the entire/package/recipe can fit in my calories. I lost a bunch a weight a long time ago and my cravings changed.(why I'm back here, gained 80 pounds back)
Go cold turkey get rid of everything that will tempt you...2 -
Big congrats on losing 124 lbs! Maybe you're one of the people who (like me) has better success with just avoiding almost all sweeteners - of whatever type - completely while I'm losing weight. I have a personality where completely swearing off certain foods just works way better for me than trying to fit the treats I love into my calorie allowance. I'm the exact opposite of the "don't restrict too much or you'll derail" type people. For me, I stick to my goals way better and stay happier if I just don't even touch a dessert-type food. It's like moving to a different planet for a while.3
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annacole94 wrote: »If it's not something you want in your life, then avoid it. Some people moderate. Some people abstain.
http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/
I will agree that if you do want a treat, make it a single portion where you're supposed to eat the whole thing. Go out, get one of the thing you really want, enjoy it, and then it's over. All gone, done, and not tormenting you from the fridge.
I'm an abstainer and a moderator i guess. I wont buy chips, pretzels, dip, peanut butter cups, nuts and other mindlessly snacky things, because i know if they're in my pantry i'll eat the whole bag.
But if I'm visiting someone where those items are spread out on the table, then I'll eat them. Our social outings are very rare, so this works for me.3 -
I'm the same way. There is just something about sugar and most sugar substitutes that sets off massive cravings for more. I deal with it by just not bringing junk into the house. If I want something once in a while, I will get a single serving when I'm out...like dessert at a really good restaurant known for its desserts. Or a single scoop of ice cream from an ice cream shop. That is fine on rare occasions, but if I buy a pint for home it doesn't work.
I've accepted it...just don't bring it home. It works perfectly.
As for recipes...what i have learned to do when I want to try a sweet recipe is make 1/3 or 1/4 of the recipe. Instead of a cake, I will make a few mini cupcakes. Instead of a cheesecake, try making two or three mini cheesecakes in silicone molds. I've even done that with brownies. It works very well for me...enough for 2 or 3 servings. If I overeat and eat all of it, it still doesn't totally ruin my calorie budget for the day.4 -
MoiAussi93 wrote: »As for recipes...what i have learned to do when I want to try a sweet recipe is make 1/3 or 1/4 of the recipe. Instead of a cake, I will make a few mini cupcakes. Instead of a cheesecake, try making two or three mini cheesecakes in silicon molds.
Oh, I forgot ... I totally do this too, only while I'm maintaining -- not while I'm losing. But yeah, living alone, it's great. I have recipes for six teeny-tiny homemade donuts, and for a miniature pie, and for five cookies. That way I get the whole experience without having to rely on self-discipline.
Those tiny containers of Haagen Dazs ice cream are good for that as well. I bring one home at a time.
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Several years ago, I had achieved a 98 pound loss. Then I invited family to my home for Thanksgiving. I began trying out recipes, and all my good habits began disintegrating. Then there were leftovers after Thanksgiving...Then the Christmas candy arrived from Germany, and See's candy from my boss. I was completely undone.
Since then I've had several large gains and losses. What I've learned is that I have to always be an abstainer. Once the sugary foods hit my bloodstream I turn into my evil twin. When I don't consume desserts, I'm happier, in control, and at peace with myself.
I'm at 90 days without the white stuff now, and I still have to learn to make my "move to another planet" (as IrisFlute so beautifully said!) permanent.
Environment is really important. Keep it out of your house!1 -
Oh god I do this with peanut butter. Like some of the other posters said, it just can't be brought in the house or I WILL eat 6 or 7 servings of it in one session...
Stop making the cheesecake. Just stop it. If you're gonna eat dessert than have 1 serving of real cheesecake and enjoy the heck out of it without guilt0 -
annacole94 wrote: »If it's not something you want in your life, then avoid it. Some people moderate. Some people abstain.
http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/
Thanks so much for the link to Gretchen Rubin's article. I thought it was amusing when she said that the abstainers and the moderators try to convert each other to their way of thinking. I've noticed a lot of that on MFP.3 -
Is cheesecake easy to make at home? What's the appeal of homemade cheesecakes?
For 15usd I can get variety...
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endlessfall16 wrote: »Is cheesecake easy to make at home? What's the appeal of homemade cheesecakes?
For 15usd I can get variety...
Decent cheesecake can be tricky, unbaked is easier than baked, generally because the baked involves a water bath to prevent cracking, though I often don't use a water bath and it comes out fine.0 -
That low calories cheesecake is really not bad though... it's low carb, not overly sweet, and has good macros.
But OP... it's going to be a lifelong problem. The question is... what will you do when you lose your last 15 lbs? Are you going to ban those things forever? I have self control issues on desserts/baked goods too but 'manage' them by staying active. I like that stuff too much to give it up forever.0 -
Uhh. ok. Good Luck to you.0
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Congratulations on the 124lb loss. The last 15lbs are always the hardest, eh?
I know what you mean about your dessert dilemma. I have to consciously discipline myself every step of the way. What I have noticed works for me is to portion control only. And sometimes that is a hard job. So to do that successfully, anytime I make something that I know will go nowhere fast, I will immediately section off the items and store them away in the freezer (like another poster suggested), or give it away to family, or pack it away to take it to work. It also helps to cook these kinds of things on weeknights.
It's a long and dedicated process. Yesterday someone at work brought a homemade dessert to die for! I walked right past it. But of course, someone was 'kind' enough to bring it to my desk! Haha! So I simply sectioned off a small piece and IMMEDIATELY threw the rest of it out in the garbage. That way I only had that one tiny piece.0 -
Reading that helped me realize that "right for me" and "right for everybody" aren't the same thing. I'm a total moderator. I can eat one square of dark chocolate and make a bar last for weeks. I can make the protein cheesecake and eat one piece of breakfast every day (for the record, it's not the best cheesecake in the world, but it is amazingly nutritious and pretty good for what it is). That's me - and I'm glad it's me. But if people like the OP find it really hard to moderate, it's 100% ok to just decide that that is who they are and set themselves up for success.CynthiasChoice wrote: »annacole94 wrote: »If it's not something you want in your life, then avoid it. Some people moderate. Some people abstain.
http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/
Thanks so much for the link to Gretchen Rubin's article. I thought it was amusing when she said that the abstainers and the moderators try to convert each other to their way of thinking. I've noticed a lot of that on MFP.0 -
Congratulations on the loss so far.
This is the reason I've tried to stop baking at home unless I can make individual portion items like the protein muffins which are only 80-100 cals each. I had friends over last Friday and made some Chocolate Orange Flourless Brownies, I had a small piece on the evening and sent one of my friends home with the leftovers, if I left it in the fridge I would demolish it which would have been around 1000 calories.
I have to say I agree with a lot of other posters, in that excessively restricting yourself can land you right back in the same binging cycle, maybe resolve not to bake at home unless there are other people joining you for dinner and if you do want something sweet go out and buy a single portion of something you will enjoy and make it fit your calories.
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Did these desserts really set you back from your goal or is it something bigger? Why are you really so upset?
You could dump desserts but is that what you really need to do?
Looking at your diary it looks like you actually eat a lot of packaged foods and don't avoid sweet things so I'm not sure why you say you are "clean eating". It looks like you often get single serve versions of products and eat the whole thing so that is one way you moderate these other foods.
You regularly eat a whole bag of vegetables with your meal but you don't beat yourself up over eating large amounts of vegetables because they are low calorie and nutrient filled in your mind. You make a lower calorie dessert and eat the whole thing and decide you are an out of control monster because it is "junk food". Same action just different type of food and different way of viewing the food. I would say likely you often enjoy eating larger volumes of food. It is good to know that about yourself.
On big dessert days it doesn't look like you attempted to eat much regular food like vegetables or meats too so maybe felt unsatisfied for that reason unlike many days where you fit in a muffin or some whipped topping in with regular meals. I do think you are capable of moderating sweet foods if you set it up right for you to do so.
Going back to February 1 in your diary it looks like you were not logging every day for awhile. Maybe all this together is a sign that you are getting a bit tired of dieting after losing 124 lbs with 15 to go. Maybe you are at the point that you really need to take a maintenance break for a few months. Work on changing your thoughts about food a bit during that time.
Please understand that I'm not criticizing your diet or you but rather just pointing out some things that maybe you aren't seeing. That maybe this is not about the desserts or sugar.
How I handle moderating dessert:
I don't have it every day.
I do have the good stuff- not something I don't even like.
I plan my consumption and prelog it.
I eat dessert for a snack after I have met my nutritional goals so it isn't taking away from me having satisfying meals.
I have a small family. I reduce the sizes of recipes to something manageable.
I give it away to others so I have my taste but not the whole batch.
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I always over eat on the dough when I make cookies. Last time I made cookies, I did it on my fast day so I couldn't taste at all, and immediately froze them in ice trays. Now when I want a cookie, I can take one out and bake it.0
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Did these desserts really set you back from your goal or is it something bigger?
How I handle moderating dessert:
I don't have it every day.
I do have the good stuff- not something I don't even like.
I plan my consumption and prelog it.
I eat dessert for a snack after I have met my nutritional goals so it isn't taking away from me having satisfying meals.
I have a small family. I reduce the sizes of recipes to something manageable.
I give it away to others so I have my taste but not the whole batch.
These are typical things "moderators" do. They have strength of character in the food arena. But as an "abstainer" myself, I can look at your list, agree with it, make a plan to follow it, and then not be able to abide by it time after time after time. Lots of striving and failing can be exhausting. I find it easier to abstain and avoid all the drama.
I'm curious if any of you food moderators are also able to moderate shopping, alcohol, or gambling. And do you manage time well?
I'm an "abstainer" who has had no success moderating sweets, but I can moderate shopping, alcohol, and gambling just fine. However, time management is sometimes a struggle.
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Good article - thanks.CynthiasChoice wrote: »annacole94 wrote: »If it's not something you want in your life, then avoid it. Some people moderate. Some people abstain.
http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/
Thanks so much for the link to Gretchen Rubin's article. I thought it was amusing when she said that the abstainers and the moderators try to convert each other to their way of thinking. I've noticed a lot of that on MFP.
I'm not sure people are permanently one or the other. A lot of people just seem to end up in one group because of what's going on at the moment.0
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