Self Sabotage

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kschwab0203
kschwab0203 Posts: 610 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am sabotaging myself and I don't know why.

I started MFP back in October and was so driven and motivated to lose weight. I lost 15 lbs of the 25 lb goal and have gained almost 10 lbs back since February.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!??!

I give myself these pep talks everyday about how I am going to get back on track and then BOOM...I am eating so much I feel sick. Then I'm disappointed in myself. Then I feel disgusted. Then I end up eating crap or drinking too much beer and start the cycle all over again.

I'm pissed at myself. I feel out of control.

Replies

  • kellydaly87
    kellydaly87 Posts: 12 Member
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    Find a therapist that specializes in disordered eating. That's what I'm in the process of doing because I'm a notorious emotional/stress eater.
  • disneyprincess29
    disneyprincess29 Posts: 10 Member
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    Don't be hard on yourself. I can understand why you're frustrated because you worked so hard and saw results and now it feels like you're undoing all your hard work. I'm there at the moment, lost some last summer and piled on half a stone again in the last month. You need to remind yourself why you are doing this and just do it! Find some motivation from somewhere because if you don't stop now it'll just get worse. You've done it before and you can do it again. The journey is not easy and has its ups and downs. Try and regain the habits that worked before.
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
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    I find that when I have the last 10 lbs to lose I loosen up on my eating habits. It's all trial and error to find what works for you to get that good balance. Also, I have my weight loss set really low so that I can eat more. I'm not in a race to lose weight, I will get there.

    Currently for me, eating healthy through the week and allowing 1 to 2 "splurge" meals on the weekend helps to keep my balance. I turned down fresh free donuts yesterday because I know that I will be eating some good good this weekend. I do switch things up every now and again if I feel myself either becoming too restrictive or too loosey goosey lol

    What has helped me is finding interesting new healthy recipes on Pinterest to try, I found some delicious recipes.
  • brb_2013
    brb_2013 Posts: 1,197 Member
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    I have done the same for years, what I feel is different now is changing my attitude toward food. Slowly but surely I've convinced myself that food is fuel and my choices need to reflect my body's needs not my mental desires. It's tough but I essentially have been breaking my reliance on food for comfort. Therapy might expedite this process but I can't afford things like that so I've just been learning and trying and learning again. Not failing. Learning. Each time I bounce back up after a weekend or a week of eating what I mentally desire over what my body actually needs shows me how to avoid those circumstances again. I'm not always on point, no one is perfect all the time.

    Look at your macro nutrients. Find a balance there that keeps you full and satisfied so you're not as tempted by not so healthy options. My day is FULL of protein, fats, and carbs and by the end of the day my brain may desire chocolate or ice cream but holy cow I'm so full and tired of chewing! It's just one little "trick" I've learned. I think my diary is open! Basically I know I want to preserve my muscle and I am quite active so my body needs these nutrients, more than it needs chocolate. I'm always talking to myself as well, rationalizing cravings versus what I actually need. Idk, it's just a process. I've spent two years bouncing around the same 5lbs and I just expect more struggle in the future. This is a lifetime of change not a flick of a switch.
  • rsclause
    rsclause Posts: 3,103 Member
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    When I was on a mission to lose my large beer gut I stopped at nothing to reach my goal. I lost my gut and 53 pounds that went with it. I also got in the best shape ever. Then I got busy and that caused me to eat fast food while I renovated my future office. I also had an uptick in my booze and beer consumption. Combine that with slacking off my running = 22 pounds gained. I finally decided I had enough and made some changes. I stopped drinking scotch & beer and have been running 5.5 miles a day. I have lost over 4 pounds this week and am feeling better about things. Bottom line is you have to want it and tell yourself that nothing is going to stop you. If you did this (MFP) and had success then you know that it works. Commit to it and go after the weight you want to be, only you can make it work. I knew for weeks, maybe months that I needed to make changes, why I procrastinated I have no idea but that is behind me now. Get back on the horse!
  • Jthanmyfitnesspal
    Jthanmyfitnesspal Posts: 3,522 Member
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    Being 25lbs overweight does not make you unhealthy and not maintaining a particular weight does not make you a bad person. (There are plenty of thin people out there that are positively reprehensible, I'm sure.)

    Consider the big picture of your life. Who do you want to be and what do you want to accomplish? Who is on your side? Do you have enough support?

    When you really know what you want, you can better accomplish it. Having control of your weight (you health, really) is just one part of a satisfying life.
  • Theo166
    Theo166 Posts: 2,564 Member
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    Pep talks don't lose weight, it's reducing your calories in. I bet you stopped tracking what you were eating.

    Just accept you may have to track your calories and scale weight from now on, even if done loosely.
  • kschwab0203
    kschwab0203 Posts: 610 Member
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    Theo166 wrote: »
    Pep talks don't lose weight, it's reducing your calories in. I bet you stopped tracking what you were eating.

    Just accept you may have to track your calories and scale weight from now on, even if done loosely.

    I've stopped tracking everyday. I may do 2-3 days a week then something comes up and I just throw in the towel. I am such a pain in my own *kitten*!
  • Jthanmyfitnesspal
    Jthanmyfitnesspal Posts: 3,522 Member
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    Theo166 wrote: »
    Pep talks don't lose weight, it's reducing your calories in. I bet you stopped tracking what you were eating.

    I dunno, I've seen some pretty thin pep talks! :p
  • Jthanmyfitnesspal
    Jthanmyfitnesspal Posts: 3,522 Member
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    @kschwab0203 I think focusing on the big picture is the key, but If I had to give one piece of specific advice, I'd recommend doing a "dry challenge:" no booze for 6 months. Get it all out of the house and stop going to bars. It can be very helpful.
  • Theo166
    Theo166 Posts: 2,564 Member
    edited April 2017
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    kschwab0203 wrote: »
    Theo166 wrote: »
    Pep talks don't lose weight, it's reducing your calories in. I bet you stopped tracking what you were eating.

    Just accept you may have to track your calories and scale weight from now on, even if done loosely.

    I've stopped tracking everyday. I may do 2-3 days a week then something comes up and I just throw in the towel. I am such a pain in my own *kitten*!

    Get back into regular tracking.

    If you forgot to log it when you ate go back and take a swag at what you had for the day, even if you guess and just log calories consumed. The process will still have you review in your mind what you consumed, you'll be working on your self awareness and it'll help you eat better. It doesn't take more than 1-2 min to swag your calories for the day.
  • kschwab0203
    kschwab0203 Posts: 610 Member
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    Theo166 wrote: »
    kschwab0203 wrote: »
    Theo166 wrote: »
    Pep talks don't lose weight, it's reducing your calories in. I bet you stopped tracking what you were eating.

    Just accept you may have to track your calories and scale weight from now on, even if done loosely.

    I've stopped tracking everyday. I may do 2-3 days a week then something comes up and I just throw in the towel. I am such a pain in my own *kitten*!

    Get back into regular tracking.

    If you forgot to log it when you ate go back and take a swag at what you had for the day, even if you guess and just log calories consumed. The process will still have you review in your mind what you consumed, you'll be working on your self awareness and it'll help you eat better.

    I agree with this.

    Lately, as I said, it has been outta sight outta mind. No logging, then you don't have to face how bad it actually is.

    I notice it is the same with weighing everyday. It makes me more honest with myself and more accountable to myself.
  • Dragonliili
    Dragonliili Posts: 1 Member
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    I've been in the same situation that you have been, frustration and all. I've been going to a mental health center for monthly or bi-monthly with a doctor for medication and a therapist every two or three weeks that have been a big help.

    If you can predict the binges like clock work or find environmental or emotional stress that trigger it you might benefit from finding a therapist for some help to try and pinpoint down the exact reasons why. I can't even remember the last time I wanted to binge on something and I've easily been staying under my tdee; I've just been reminding myself that that part of my brain that's hungry or has a craving is not in control, that I am.

    It's kinda annoying sometimes because it's kind of like an unruly toddler. It's easier to give in, but to do things right you have to keep by the rules.
  • Leah_62803
    Leah_62803 Posts: 292 Member
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    Been there 100 times! I'm a self sabotager too. I do the same thing...I'm really good for a few weeks and then suddenly the cravings and hunger hit me and I end up eating a bunch of crap. Then I feel bad about myself and think there's no point in even trying. #foreverfat

    BUT I recently had an epiphany. I lost 17 lbs over several months, had a bad day, then gave up like always. I went 2 months eating whatever I wanted and avoiding the scale. Then I made myself get on it one morning and it had gained 5 lbs. I felt pretty upset with myself but then it hit me, I was still 12 lbs down! I could just start back up again with my 12 lb head start. I didn't have to give up and gain it all back. That might be obvious to most everyone else but it was helpful to me since I always gave up and gained everything back before.
    So now if I have a bad day, week, or even month...oh well. It's not the end of the world. I'll still be ahead and I can start again.

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