Starting over again

The last time I was happy with myself was back in 2011. At the time I was bursting with energy, happy with what I saw in the mirror, and weighed in at my lowest since high school. I'd finally lost the baby weight (daughter was born in 2010) and my outlook on life was nothing short of wonderful. Looking back, it feels like I was living in a fairy tale. Then, I found out I was pregnant again and everything changed.
I suffer from bi polar disorder and depression. My first pregnancy went smoothly, but my second proved much harder on me. I didn't gain nearly as much weight during my second pregnancy, but my moods never got back to what they were before. Over the years since, I've been off and on so many different medications I can't remember them all. I think we finally found a combination that works though. Sadly, this includes Depakote which makes me gain.
On top of that, I've developed severe anxiety. To combat this, I tend to turn to binge eating. I've been diagnosed with bulimia in the past, but thankfully have it mostly under control. Still, the compulsion to eat and eat and eat rides me hard. I start every day out with the resolve that I'll do better, only to have that resolve come crashing down around me.
I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of feeling so tired all the time. I'm tired of being so weak. I'm tired of having no stamina to do the most basic of things. I'm tired of just moving being a chore. I'm tired of not being able to tie my own shoes without discomfort. I'm just tired.
I've started and restarted trying to lose weight I don't know how many times. This time will be different. I can do this. I've done it in the past and I can do it again. I just need to set my mind to it. I'm determined that this time I'll succeed.