Struggling with ED (Bulimia) looking for support.

Former anoxeric and bulimic here. I haven't relapsed into physical purging for a long time but to say that I never have thoughts about it would be a lie. Even prior to my journey beginning I was engaging in binge behaviours but not purging and patting myself on the back like it was a victory. Only through committing to my journey and to my health have I been able to to put those thoughts and feelings to bed. Although, again, I do have some occurrences when life is particularly stressful but they never amount to anything.

The thing is, what works for me might not work for you. For example, I like to take a very logical approach. If I feel I need to purge because I ate too much, I work the problem: too much food = weight gain. Eat less food to create a deficit = lose the weight. The logic of it also allows me to not restrict too much because I always aim my calories to fit my goals. If I have to eat 1800cals then that's what I'm going to do. The science of it works for me. Have you seen a therapist and worked on any coping mechanisms? If you haven't then I sincerely recommend it. Even if you feel better about everything, it can't hurt to have more tools in your arsenal to help you fight. If you have, then maybe sit and refresh your memory on what worked for you last time.

It's a good plan to whole foods* and not weigh yourself. Just take it easy and let your body tell you what it needs. And don't forget to practice other self care, like buying some magazines and painting your toenails and buying something cute if you like it. You're going through a rough time and having a bit of focus away from food could be helpful too.

*I'm not keen on the clean eating terminology because it puts a line between 'clean' and therefore good foods and 'dirty' and bad foods. Food is food, the only variant is what it does for you nutritionally.