Who thinks who you have around you influences your lifestyle?

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Loveedove1
Loveedove1 Posts: 40 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've recently started seeing this man.. since we have been together the past couple months.. we drink beer almost everyday. I have put on at least 20 pounds since my last check in. We both want to be healthier.. but I no longer go to the gym like I used to.. and have been abandoning my healthy eating regimen. I don't want to be " fat and happy". I know we make our own decisions but I do feel like this is an influence. How do y'all feel regarding this

Replies

  • strshllw84
    strshllw84 Posts: 256 Member
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    To a point yes. I was in your same boat, it's been almost a year with him and a lil over a month ago I decided I was going to change my ways... At times I don't feel like he supports me or understands how important my health is and getting in shape.
    Yes it is very easy to fall into other people's bad habits of you spend a lot of time but if you want to change your ways can.
    It will be tough, and if he doesn't want to change then it will definitely test you, but if the wants is bad enough, that's all that matters!
  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
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    I learned the hard way that if I allowed my schedule to slip just because of a new spouse or friend, I was unpriotizing what should be important. Any person I am seeing should understand that the gym is important to me. As such, they can accept that I'm going to go with or without them in my life. Otherwise, you end up in the situation that you have to start up again, which can be harder each passing day.
  • Leah_62803
    Leah_62803 Posts: 292 Member
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    Well I went from 130 to 195 after meeting my 300 lb husband so...lol. There were of course some other factors there too. His unhealthy habits definitely rubbed off on me though!

    I also had a coworker who was quite a bit heavier than me and she was a bad influence on me when it came to food. We had days when people would bring food and set it up on the kitchen. Lots of cheese dips and such...just my favorite party foods! I'd try to limit myself to one plate but she'd always come by my desk saying "Come on! Let's go!" And I let it happen. I think I justified it somehow by blaming her and also felt better because when we were together she was "the fat one". Which sounds awful but I think it helped me feel better about overindulging. If she would have been fit I would have been too self conscience to go snacking with her.
  • ParanormaLauren
    ParanormaLauren Posts: 69 Member
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    I think so, but I also think it's possible to have the realization that you need to reprioritize and move forward with that in mind.

    If I can pass on COOKIE CON, I truly believe anything is possible.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Loveedove1 wrote: »
    I've recently started seeing this man.. since we have been together the past couple months.. we drink beer almost everyday. I have put on at least 20 pounds since my last check in. We both want to be healthier.. but I no longer go to the gym like I used to.. and have been abandoning my healthy eating regimen. I don't want to be " fat and happy". I know we make our own decisions but I do feel like this is an influence. How do y'all feel regarding this

    i think it is very easy to become influenced by those around us, and it becomes a handy excuse not to take responsibility for ones self.

    At the end of the day, the only person who can make you lose weight is you, just like the only person who can make you gain weight is you.
  • Nickladon
    Nickladon Posts: 17 Member
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    I completely agree. You want to spend time with people you care about or are interested in and it becomes easy to compromise and before you know it you can lose everything you worked so hard to gain. Thats what happened to me and things got out of hand. 50 lbs later i wish i would have dragged my friends to the gym with me.
  • rdmitch
    rdmitch Posts: 278 Member
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    They can influence you but they can't force you to eat/drink something your willpower can overcome.
    My wife eats a lb. of chocolate ,drinks 2 liters of soda and smokes a pack of cigarettes day but I don't follow
    that lifestyle anymore. You just need to be stronger and don't make excuses for giving in.
  • AzulCareBear
    AzulCareBear Posts: 18 Member
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    Yes. I cut my ex off because I gained 30 lb once I got with him. I was just fine on my own. A bad influence all around though, girl lol I'm back on my health kick though and won't deter again no matter who I get with! Feel free to add me.
  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
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    My emotional eating was a bad influence on my husband when we first met - he was active, so it didn't impact him massively (although he did end up at his heaviest with me), but he went from not eating desserts and sweets to indulging with me every night.

    On the plus side, we both adopted a better lifestyle together, with healthier eating patterns and a different approach towards food. We support and encourage each other in our sporting pursuits and the gym is something we do together. We both have our bad days, but the other one is generally able to talk sense in to the other :)
  • ConquerAndBloom
    ConquerAndBloom Posts: 94 Member
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    In my case, yes. When I was alone I hardly ate out, didn't really hit the drive thru, etc. Once I moved in with my boyfriend though (and he's on the heavy side) I gained over 50 pounds! He was more active than me but together we made some terrible diet choices! A lot of other factors combined to add to my weight gain of course but we both realized we needed to take back our health, together.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    Just tell him you really like him but you really don't like drinking beer with him. Be his DD.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
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    Find some non-food/ non-drinking activities to do together. Walks in the park or going to the gym together. Yes another person can throw you off track but only if you allow it. Find your balance.
  • brybatman
    brybatman Posts: 7 Member
    edited April 2017
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    I made a similar post about this not too long ago but, I was in a similar situation where the girl I was with didnt like "eating healthy" nor had interest to really work out, or even go on walks, or liked me leaving to work out or go on a run cause she felt I was giving an excuse to not want to spend time with her. Stay in, drink beer, eating heavy pasts & sauces, burgers, pizza. Ultimately I gained about 35 lbs being in the relationship & felt myself fading.
    Recently got out of the relationship due to other reasons ontop of this. Knew it was up to me to make a difference on myself, health & life. Im getting myself back on track & my diet back, & feel so much more alive, energy, happy.
    Only thing I would advise is, on contrary to some people saying opposites attract which may be true to an extent, but in my opinion similarities & like-minds succeed.
  • Heather4448
    Heather4448 Posts: 908 Member
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    You should start being the good influence! Go for walks (or even better- runs) together.
  • Penthesilea514
    Penthesilea514 Posts: 1,189 Member
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    Heather4448 wrote: »
    You should start being the good influence! Go for walks (or even better- runs) together.

    After months and months of trying to lose weight and eating better and my husband doing his own thing, I realized that I needed to focus on me and let him come to terms with his unhealthier habits in his own time. Last week, we went on a 2 mile hike with our dogs- for the first time in years! And he wants to make it a weekly thing because he enjoyed it so much.

    But I agree, influence plays a certain role in lifestyle, but ultimately, the choice (realization?) to address health is up to the individual to say "Enough is enough".

    That old saying rings true to me here: "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink".

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