Struggling with ED (Bulimia) looking for support.

In the past couple years Ive managed to lose 70 pounds. I was also able to fo it through proper nutrition and working my butt of five days a week!!!! I am so proud of what I was able to do....and Im so close to my goal of a strong healthy body....except Ive managed to find myself relapsing into bulimia again. Ive had a history with both anorexia and bulimia....and I thought I had left it for good but recent times and stress managed to trigger me into a relapse. For those who havnt experienced it....it is such a distructive disease. Mentally, financially, physically....Ive worked so hard to overcome these obstacles and I really dont want to have to live with this anymore. I decided to give myself a small goal...a 10 day challenge....Ill continue working out but I wont be focusing on how hard I can go. Just actually working my body in a healthy way. Ive decided I dont want to weigh myself during these 10 days either as I know my body has to re adjust to regular food...Im not even sure if anyone here has dealt or understands EDs...but Im just reaching out for support in anyway. Thanks loves!

Replies

  • Mattcaanen2014
    Mattcaanen2014 Posts: 2 Member
    I've never dealt with an ED, but I'm in the process of changing my life for the better...sounds like you're doing the same thing! YOU GOT THIS!!!!
  • JButterfly5
    JButterfly5 Posts: 9 Member
    Be encouraged, the struggle is real. Having dealt with ED, it's something that sits in the back of my head, however, I focus on the reasons why I don't want to go back. Keep positive, stay focus on your goals, try not to stress (impossible I know), and don't let the scale determine your worth. Take care
  • George8383
    George8383 Posts: 70 Member
    Hi I'm struggling also with bulimia weight daily if it goes up that affect my mood for rest of the day going through cycle of restrict binge purge ect not in good place at all feel free to add me so we can support each other in from UK.
    George
  • cici3917
    cici3917 Posts: 4 Member
    Thank you so much for the kind words. For awhile I lost hope that I would be able to stop this time...but I think the first step is ackowledging the problem and reaching out for help. Today will be my first challenge day where I eat clean and dont succomb to purging. Wish me luck!!! Ill try to keep the thread updated.
  • SylviazSpirit
    SylviazSpirit Posts: 694 Member
    I have struggled with Bulimia and still do. It takes everything I have not to binge. Because I know what will happen after, I'll want to purge it all. I don't think it's something that ever truly just goes away... It's just something you control from day to day... I try to stay away from situations where I feel an intense need to binge... And keep foods out that I am tempted to binge on... It's hard. One day at a time is the only advice I have. It's such a mental battle for me. I was just thinking earlier how much I want to just scarf down an entire pizza. Then, I'd feel guilty afterward and well you know the story.. So, I'm telling myself no and the stress my kids are putting me through currently with all their fighting isn't helping. At. All.
  • cici3917
    cici3917 Posts: 4 Member
    I agree. I currently got laid off right before surgery and all the stress caused me to run straight to MIA. I know I can come out of this I just cant let it control my life. Its so hard because the only relief I get is either through eating and purging or sleeping. I just left the gym and although Im not near as good as I once was I was able to do a little more. I plan on going home and eating a light lunch and just focusing on healing my body. Thanks for all the support yall!
  • crowed1993
    crowed1993 Posts: 61 Member
    Add me I'd you'd like
  • glassofroses
    glassofroses Posts: 653 Member
    cici3917 wrote: »
    I agree. I currently got laid off right before surgery and all the stress caused me to run straight to MIA. I know I can come out of this I just cant let it control my life. Its so hard because the only relief I get is either through eating and purging or sleeping. I just left the gym and although Im not near as good as I once was I was able to do a little more. I plan on going home and eating a light lunch and just focusing on healing my body. Thanks for all the support yall!

    Try to look at it this way: you tried. Even though you knew your workout was going to be hard, you did it anyway. I know everything is screaming at you like FAIL FAIL FAIL, but you haven't. You're working so hard and even MIA can't take that away from you. And it's not like it won't ever come back to you. It's muscle memory most of the time so it'll actually take you a shorter amount of time to get back to where you were than to get there like when you first started. If you can, take long walks and dance in your underwear to get outside of your head even if it's just for a little bit. :heart:
  • cici3917
    cici3917 Posts: 4 Member
    Thank you!!!! I am wuite sore today so I know I was at least able to challenge my body this time. And everyday that I can fight againts MIA is a sucess. Last night was definately the hardest because all I wanted to do was purge even though I ate whole foods....but Im sticking to this challenge! Thanks for all the love and support.
  • KeepRunningFatboy
    KeepRunningFatboy Posts: 3,055 Member
    Quite a few of us on here. Check out the NEDA website for support too!
  • leahisnotmyname
    leahisnotmyname Posts: 20 Member
    How are you doing? I hope all is well ❤️
  • wanderinglight
    wanderinglight Posts: 1,519 Member
    I was bulimic for ten years before I quit cold turkey. I still struggled for a few years with the binging (without purging) mentality before I was able to stop that as well.

    The thing that worked for me was to read about the side effects it has on my body. I read about it in detail, even though I didn't want to. When I found myself wanting to binge, I would picture my own heart and the damage to it and how hard it had to work and how I was making its job harder, to the point of danger. I'd picture my teeth. And I would actually get a wave of feeling like I wanted to treat those body parts with love and appreciation instead of abuse. It sounds corny but it was truly the only thing that worked for me. I have not binged and purged for five years now.