Learning to love yourself

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Drouin1891
Drouin1891 Posts: 2 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have always been the type to look at people who were "thin" and wish I was them, wonder how my life would be different, how my mindset would be different. I've never done anything about it until just recently. I look at myself in the mirror and am disgusted with the way I look. No, I am not depressed nor have I ever suffered with any kind of depression but I want to feel good about myself. I want to be healthy, I want to feel better and I want my confidence back. I weighed about 145 in high school and thought I was big then but now at 220 pounds, I realize how I WASNT fat- I was just comparing myself to girls who were 5'2 at 130 pounds. I work full time as an EMT and work for 3 different Ems agencies so I'm not always busy but when I am, I can be in the back of an ambulance for 12+ hours straight. It can be grueling, especially harder to eat "healthy" when you are non stop. I take heart medicine for a fast heart beat (I've gotten up to 198 BPM just driving the ambulance) but now that I'm on medication, it seems to be better but it always scares me to work out because I am afraid of my heart getting that fast again. I have a tendency to push myself very hard... I am looking for friends, motivators, someone who knows how it feels to feel the way I do. I am in a good place, a good mindset and I won't stop until I am happy with myself

Replies

  • peanutbuttertuesday
    peanutbuttertuesday Posts: 192 Member
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    I too wish I was as fat as I was the first time I thought I was fat. Would be happy to be a friend and motivator! 30 lbs down over here, about 45 more to go.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
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    I get that all right
  • peaceout_aly
    peaceout_aly Posts: 2,018 Member
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    Fitness is a process both physically and mentally. I've been tracking macros since I was in 5th grade (where I was the chunky girl). I eventually hopped on the cardio bunny train and got down to 98 lbs. and STILL hated my body shape - "skinny fat." Then I discovered eating more, heavy lifting, not so much cardio and at 117 lbs. am getting a little closer to loving myself and feeling like I "reached my goal." There are some days when I compare to any and e everyone, saying I wish I had bigger hips, more definition, a smaller waist, a six-pack, BUT there are also days when I feel "perfect." There is no easy answer as to how to love yourself. I wish there were. It's just a long up-and-down process.

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