Hello, help wanted

maddiemcquillan2014 · April 2017

Hey there!

Not sure how many of you out there suffer with depression and anxiety, but I do. I have also struggled and continue to do so with eating disorders. I feel so worthless, so I eat, then I feel guilty and make myself sick. I have motivation some days to work out then others I don't out of fear of being judged. Does anyone out there experience the same things or have advice? I feel alone and not too great anymore. I want to get back on track.... but mental illness is hard to reason with.

chris_james17 · April 2017

It's hard to do but don't care about what other people think. Remember opinions are like *kitten*'s holes everyone has one and they all stink

estherdragonbat · April 2017

I've got some minor anxiety issues (diagnosis confirmed, but medication not deemed necessary, apart from 'can ask for Ativan if going into a stressful situation'). I am an emotional eater, though.

These are a few things that have helped me stay on track. Everyone is different, so it may not all work for you, but...

1) Treats are not necessarily cheats. To lose weight, all you need is a calorie deficit. Nutrition matters for health and some people feel more satisfied on higher protein or higher fat, etc. But if MFP gave you 1500 calories per day and you want to use 260 of them on a chocolate bar? Unless there is a medical reason why you can't, go right ahead, the weight is still going to come off if you eat your 1500.

2) When you're going into a situation where there are foods you've had a hard time moderating, plan, prepare, and (where possible) pre-log. I'm Orthodox Jewish and after synagogue, there is always a stand-up buffet with fruit and veggie platters, cakes and pastries, kugel, and cholent (a slow-cooker bean and barley stew, with or without meat). And normally, Sabbath is a time to indulge. I've had people tell me straight-faced "Sabbath food has no calories." Historically? It's been when I've gone completely off-plan and probably consumed over 2,000 calories, then gone home for a sit-down lunch. This time out, my first Sabbath on MFP, it may sound weird, but I sat down with myself and said, "Let's be real, here. You're NOT going to skip the buffet. If you do, you're just going to eat more at home, because you'll delude yourself that you've earned it. You're also not going to be happy virtuously eating the baby carrots when you really want the kugel and pastries. So. Before all that food is staring you in the face, think. What do you think it will take for you to feel satisfied at the buffet? How much do you need to consume, so that you can feel you had a treat and just stop?" And then answering, "Maybe... if I could have two pieces of potato kugel and a frosted shortbread? I think that would be enough." Okay. We were getting somewhere. I looked it up in the food database and saw that I was probably looking at just under 400 calories. And I realized that I could make that fit if I was willing to eat a little bit less at lunch and not have an afternoon snack. And when I pre-logged, something amazing happened: I saw that the indulgence wasn't putting me over my calories and the next day, when I had the kugel and cookie? I had it without the heaping side of guilt and negative self-talk that always used to come included. I didn't feel that I'd 'blown my diet' or 'cheated'. I'd made a choice about how to spend my calories.

3) You don't need a gym to exercise. In fact, while exercise is great for health and for upping your calorie allowance, you will lose weight without it if you keep to your deficit. But I get my exercise with long walks, a fitness glider in my basement, and fitness tubes.

4) You aren't alone. These forums are a great place to get support and advice. Check them out. Especially check out the stickied posts at the top of each forum for commonly-asked questions. And check out the groups too.

You can friend me if you like. I'm sort of lousy at checking my feed and commenting, but my diary is open and I'm happy to chat over PM.

You can do this!

rastogr · April 2017

Hi there, I have chronic depression (at least since the age of 11 I'd wager though never went to see a mental health professional until college) and suffer/ed from disordered eating as well. I hesitate to say I ever had an eating disorder but I definitely practiced restriction and also binged a lot. I had a tough childhood and food was probably my only source of positive emotion/dopamine being so depressed all the time, hence the unhealthy relationship. I ate to feel good and to feel satisfied. I ate mindlessly. Food was always there and tasted good and so I indulged in it to compensate for the other areas in my life that were lacking. I've been on a sort of 'weight loss journey' since when I was in high school, about 5 or 6 years ago. I would steadily gain about 20 pounds per year starting when I began menstruating and one summer my mom had it with me and basically gave me an ultimatum to lose weight. I lost weight that summer but through rigorous amounts of exercise and through crazy amounts of restriction. I didn't know enough and didn't do any research and found the pro-ana part of the internet and saw that it was working for other people so I tried it too. Was able to maintain for about 3 years then one fall I studied abroad, had too much fun, ate too much food, and put on twice the amount of weight I'd lost. Since then my depression has gotten worse, in terms of daily functioning, and I have hardly any motivation to do anything ever, at all. I'd stick to eating healthy for a week or two, make it to the gym once a week or twice if I was lucky and reaaaalllly tried to force myself (but to be frank, that happened maybe once if at all), then would give up. I know what it's like. I recently started a new way of eating, called the ketogenic diet. It's given me a great deal of energy and is easy for the binge eater within me to stick to. It's essentially a very low carb and very high fat diet, which sounds crazy, but it's working for me. Maybe it's something you could look into? I'm finding that I have better energy on this diet which is of course helpful with the whole "motivation to work out" thing, but also with the whole "motivation to live a normal life and do what I need to do like clean my apartment and do my laundry and wash my dishes" thing too. It's been helpful for me also as I recently moved to a new state (well, several months ago, but still relatively recently) and have zero friends and zero social life, and zero people to drag me out to they gym with them. On this diet I feel satiated longer, binge less, and then can maintain a calorie deficit easier. Which means I don't have to actually "work out," I could just go for walks which is something I enjoy doing as self-care anyways. There's an entire forum on reddit r/keto if you're interested in learning more or you could message me too! Of course, I'm not trying to plug it at all because what works for some people doesn't work for everyone else. And I have been able to healthily lose weight keeping a sufficient caloric intake (not heavily restricted) and working out a few times a week in the past. Actually, it feels like that's what most people do, which I know feels crappy when it feels like you're the only one who can't. But I just can't make myself do the whole working out thing anymore, at least not at this stage in my life with this new weird manifestation of my depression. Not when I don't even want to get out of bed some days. And thought I'd put the information out there in case it interests you, because I'd never heard of it before I accidentally stumbled across a video on YouTube. Would it be okay if I add you?

Hello, help wanted

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