201lbs Down, 109 to Go!

Some of you guys here on MFP know me from my lurking and my constant presence and participation over the last several years. I started here on MFP back in 2012 or so, with my starting weight for MFP being 525lbs. My highest weight ever recorded was 535lbs.

I tell my story often. I've been known to share TMI in order to help other members here not feel isolated in their issues. My attitude is mostly tough love and no BS. Now I share the story weekly on YouTube and Facebook, and head up a support group for bariatric patients as well.

I'm not like a lot of the people on here... Despite a dedication to the process and working really hard, I've taken a long time to get to where I am. My regains have been mostly due to surgical bedrest (I have now had 4 abdominal surgeries since 2012) and it's been a slow, grueling trek.

When I started this, I firmly believed that I was practically incapable of losing weight because I had ruined my body through having a complex eating disorder and going through a massive period of grief and self-harm through food consumption. When I started losing weight, I was ecstatic... Some of you may remember my post from several years ago, where I popped up a photograph of myself after losing my first 50lbs. It was something I never thought I'd see... and I almost lost my momentum soon after when my weight loss caused me hormonal issues that resulted in my first abdominal surgery. Regained, lost again... Almost a year later, sick again, another surgery, another regain, lost, another surgery, regain, lost, and then finally... I stalled out. I stalled at a weight of 415lbs for over a year. Nothing we did, through lifestyle or medical influence, would break that stall. I finally caved, and sought the assistance of a bariatric team.

I had a gastric bypass in November 2016. On my surgery day, I had lost 115-120lbs on my own already, and I went under seriously hoping that it would help me break that long, long stall and make more progress. My entire medical team saw it as a drastic but necessary measure because the slow weight loss was simply causing me to be ill... it was potentially the only way to save my solo ovary, let alone make a significant positive impact to my health before I developed any serious comorbidities. I have been so very lucky to have never developed diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or any other "fat person" disease. Even though this fact made it difficult for me to be approved for surgery (I was even denied bariatric surgery in the beginning), we argued and won.

Well, here I am. I came out of surgery weighing 415lbs. This morning, I weighed in at 324lbs. This is 91lbs since November 16th... An astounding number to me, even though it is far below the mark when it comes to the expectations my surgical team had for my progress. I've struggled A LOT with accepting the fact that my body is simply not losing in the same way that the average WLS patient does... I may never lose at that rate. They charted my projections to say that I should have lost around 150lbs by now... but you know what?

I AM HAPPY.

I'm writing this as a part of the celebration of hitting 200lbs down. I started with a goal of losing 310... and now I consider myself on the home stretch. It hasn't been easy at all, it hasn't been the traditional route, and I sure am not the traditional woman on here. My weight loss life has been pretty different... but I'm proud of it.

This is what weighing 324lbs at 6'1" looks like for me. This is what it looks like to conquer a massive beast, to put up some serious numbers, and still have a ways to go. This is what it looks like to impress yourself. This is what it looks like to put on workout clothes that you bought without trying them on, from a "normal person" clothing section, and have them fit.