Unhealthy family wont support me?

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Memeboo2008
Memeboo2008 Posts: 6 Member
in Motivation and Support
Okay so i just wanted to know of anyone else has experienced this or just have the answer? So i have been on a diet for about 2 weeks and few days. My family which has terrible eating habits and overweight is mad at me or try to discourage me from my healthy eating habits and I don't know why they just won't support something positive that I'm doing for a change, for myself.I'm not saying that they have to eat the way that I eating... I don't even live with them... I'm just telling them updates over the phone about how I'm deciding to lose weight... everytime I mention something about my weight loss that they asked me about, it's always a rebuttal, for instance, I mine on a low carb diet and my mom and dad feels the need that I eat more bread or makes fun about me eating salads. And they also make it seem like im trying to starve myself because I refuse a lot of the foods that they raised me on..which is a fact why I'm obese anyway from bad eating habits!! Because they choose have a burger instead.. I don't disrespect them for their eating habits or their life choices. so why isn't it I can't get support for mines.. it's not like I'm saying they need to make the change .. I was just wondering has anybody else experienced this with a friend or family member who Just isnt supportive because they don't want to change their lifestyles and you remind them of that because you're making a change for yourself? Idk please someone explain?

Replies

  • MissDeeDee78
    MissDeeDee78 Posts: 415 Member
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    You'd think that family would be your support system, sadly that isn't the case. It’s disheartening because you’d think these people would support your decision, to eat healthier. I know how you feel, I get teased for consuming certain foods or comments such as “Must be nice to have so much free time to exercise”. You have to do this for yourself, use their negativity to push forward. You may not receive the encouragement you seek from your family but you do have a whole support group here on this site. Good luck on your journey!! :)
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
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    Stop bringing it up. If they bring up your eating keep your answer short. If you are eating together, instead of saying you don't want to eat something because of your diet just say " I don't feel like having that right now." Luckily you don't live with them and hopefully they are not bring in the trigger foods to you place. My husband is constantly bring in foods that shouldn't be in the house. I don't mind going out for a treat but having a big bag of chips in the house is not good.
  • FreshAndAlive
    FreshAndAlive Posts: 49 Member
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    chaosbutterfly wrote: »
    They are probably jealous in a way. Especially because they are the ones who raised you and taught you how to eat, it's probably hard for them to like...support you trying to change. Luckily, my family is pretty supportive of my weight loss (sometimes too supportive lol) but I definitely experienced this with friends. Some will make fun of me like...in a teasing way, but I've also had "friends" just be straight up mean, discourage me from losing weight, and even try to sabotage me by dangling unhealthy *kitten* in front of my face. I had to drop some of them because to me, if you can't support me in trying to better myself and improve my quality and quantity of life, then you don't really care about me.

    Family is different though lol. If you can't drop them, then like everyone else said, create some distance and stop talking about it to them. Don't give them updates or explain your food choices or anything like that. If they make fun, ignore them or just tell them to leave you be. Soon enough, you'll be seeing results, and they will come creeping to you under the cover of darkness to ask for tips LOL.

    As far as expressing yourself (because it is very important to have a support system in this journey), I would say to only talk about fitness to friends or family members who are supportive of what you are trying to do, or try joining a meetup group in your area for people looking to get fit. Or you can just stick to online communities. I basically only talk fitness to people online, and luckily, there are a ton of forums where you can talk as much as you want, and only receive support. Here of course, but there's also reddit, bodybuilding.com, and 3 fat chicks. Twinbody is another great app for support, and facebook also has a number of fitness groups.
    As a lady of color, you might also want to check out the fitness forums on Longhaircareforum, as well as BlackHairMedia and Lipstick Alley.

    Good luck and stay strong! Don't let them get you down!

    This is a great response! <3
  • FreshAndAlive
    FreshAndAlive Posts: 49 Member
    edited April 2017
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    memespencer2004 wrote: »
    Okay so i just wanted to know of anyone else has experienced this or just have the answer? So i have been on a diet for about 2 weeks and few days. My family which has terrible eating habits and overweight is mad at me or try to discourage me from my healthy eating habits and I don't know why they just won't support something positive that I'm doing for a change, for myself.I'm not saying that they have to eat the way that I eating... I don't even live with them... I'm just telling them updates over the phone about how I'm deciding to lose weight... everytime I mention something about my weight loss that they asked me about, it's always a rebuttal, for instance, I mine on a low carb diet and my mom and dad feels the need that I eat more bread or makes fun about me eating salads. And they also make it seem like im trying to starve myself because I refuse a lot of the foods that they raised me on..which is a fact why I'm obese anyway from bad eating habits!! Because they choose have a burger instead.. I don't disrespect them for their eating habits or their life choices. so why isn't it I can't get support for mines.. it's not like I'm saying they need to make the change .. I was just wondering has anybody else experienced this with a friend or family member who Just isnt supportive because they don't want to change their lifestyles and you remind them of that because you're making a change for yourself? Idk please someone explain?

    Life-changing decisions are not easy and part of that challenge comes from the reality that not everyone including family members will support you. Ultimately, you have to do it for yourself and direct your attention to the things you want to build in this life and the people willing to genuinely support, wherever they may be. Thankfully you live on your own which gives you room to stack your cabinets & fridge to your liking. Focus on your goals and who you are becoming!
    P.S if you would like my support, feel free to add me :)
  • Luv_orange
    Luv_orange Posts: 17 Member
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    I do best on my journey when I discuss less about what I'm doing . Its tough to sell a product without a before an after to show people. Its your journey. People will always have options and have different lifestyles different from yours.
  • Memeboo2008
    Memeboo2008 Posts: 6 Member
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    Thank u all for your comments i really appreciate them and for taking out the time to reach out
  • daneejela
    daneejela Posts: 461 Member
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    Reformed smokers, new lovers, and dieters are annoying. It's thrilling and exciting for the individuals, but these sorts of life changes unintentionally point out the failings and deficits in others.

    This might be the smartest thing I've read in a long time! I have to remember that. :)

    Although, I don't think it's case here...there is something in us human that resist to change. We don't like that people around us change too much, specially those we love the most.
    Few years ago my best friend has gone through a transformation, she lost a lot of weight. She looks like a million bucks now, she is really beautiful. I was always supportive, but, for a short period of time I had this strange feeling like I have lost her. I was really surprised that I can have feelings like that. That period of course ended, I have seen that's still her, still being person I love very much.

    So, what I am trying to say actually - it's natural that people resist change, that they are scare of change. It would be great they don't, but it is what it is. The most important thing is that you are 100% sure that you are doing great, correct, awesome thing.
    Don't reach to them if they don't know how to support you at the moment. Give them time to catch up with you when they see that you're still alive (without bread for every meal) and that you're still their daughter.
  • CoachJen71
    CoachJen71 Posts: 1,200 Member
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    Find your support here! *hug*

    ____________________________________________

    Down 140lbs: My story.
  • AshAlvarezz
    AshAlvarezz Posts: 113 Member
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    Some people just don't get it. If they ask answer them but if not just don't bring it up. If they don't want to change that's on them, but you're doing what's best for you.
  • Sp1tfire
    Sp1tfire Posts: 1,120 Member
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    I would say some of it comes from jealousy. My brother who doesn't workout gets super annoyed whenever I'm talking to my parents about my strength training progress or my new elliptical bests. He just rolls his eyes. One day he disclosed to me that it annoys him because he knows he needs to do it too before he waits too long and has a harder time starting. Me talking about it reminds him and makes him upset.
    I'd say maybe your talk about it is hitting a nerve with them and making them feel guilty and that's why they're not being supportive. They want to stay within their bubble with no worries about it. This is just speculation of course. I'd say bring it up when you hit a great milestone and that's it.

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