I'm so insecure about my body

PaulaDDN
PaulaDDN Posts: 162 Member
edited September 30 in Chit-Chat
I have more than 2 years living with my husband (and 1 son) and I've never take a shower with him (or no one) because im so insecure to show my body while im standing up, with lights on, etc.) I love yo sleep with pj's (pants) and last night he asked me to wear something more sexy every night instead of my pajama pants. I don't like my legs, i feel they are so fat and ugly and full of cellulite, he has long time asking me if we can take a shower together and i keep making excuses. Even when im super skinny i'm still so insecure about my body. I want to change but i don't know how to do it, any advice? i really wanna change :(

Replies

  • candistyx
    candistyx Posts: 547 Member
    I think the best thing you can do to change it is to show him those thighs, show him that cellulite, let him run his fingers along it, let him squeeze those thighs and rub them, and see how he reacts.
    Because I really doubt he is going to be all "urg that's disgusting". I bet he loves you, and if he loves you, he'll appreciate all your little imperfections as just part of the wonderful creature you are.

    Just trust him enough to let him see you, the outside as well as the inside, and love and be loved.
  • KourtneyP83
    KourtneyP83 Posts: 319
    I will shower and let my husband see my body, but if he is not showering with me and walks in to talk to me, I get very insecure. I don't think I will be the same weight when I am thinner. You may want to see someone and talk about that and what you can do to deal with your feelings of insecurity.
  • Bellum24
    Bellum24 Posts: 106 Member
    I used to be the same way and I agree with Candistyx, show it and the fear goes away. He loves you, you are married and have a child. He isn't going to run into the other room screaming he will probably be thrilled that you feel comfortable with him and wanna share yourself.
  • AmerTunsi
    AmerTunsi Posts: 655 Member
    I would talk to him about your insecurities. More over you may be shocked to find that many men do not notice the things we notice. You are his wife, the mother of his son ... I guarantee you that he will love you more, and you will find a new sense of freedom and confidence after you have let him in on your insecurities. Let him help you see the beautiful person you are to him ... and you may be surprised how freeing it is.
  • deenanna
    deenanna Posts: 39
    He loves you for you. If he's anything like my boyfriend he will tell you that. He loves you regardless of your size, big as a house or tiny as a mouse. He wont be disgusted. He'll love every part of you, especially the parts you hide. When love is real, imperfections are seen as perfection. Just let him see you. You're beautiful in his eyes. Plus, it's probably not as bad as what you see it as.
  • firecracker72
    firecracker72 Posts: 5
    There's nothing sexier than feeling comfortable with yourself! You are beautiful, you are working on your body to be healthy and fit, and you have a loving husband and child. I know it sounds hard, but relax, smile, remind yourself that he loves you, and go for it! Don't do it halfway, either--just jump in! Splash around! Run your hands all over your body and his! Have fun and he will too!
  • gentlebreeze2
    gentlebreeze2 Posts: 450 Member
    If he's asking for those things... then he obviously doesn't have a problem with in.
  • dopehat
    dopehat Posts: 33 Member
    I totally agree with what candistyx said.

    I think the more of your body that you show him and the more often you do it, you will get used to it over time and no doubt begin to realize that he really does love and enjoy your body. I know it's easier said than done but it is possible if you push through it. I'm definitely the same way and I only got through it by trying to give myself positive thoughts (even if I didn't believe them to begin with) and just going for it. Good luck!
  • Saruman_w
    Saruman_w Posts: 1,531 Member
    Whaa? From the pics, you seem pretty damn hot. You should flaunt that body.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    fill the bathroom with candles, put on some R&B, have a glass of wine & relax! he's your husband. wasn't he (and about 30 other ppl) there when your baby was born? I was pretty modest until then. Then I figured if everybody at the hospital saw me, might as well show daddy the goods

    nobody really looks like those silly magazines (stop buying them)
    Everybody gets cellulite - I've heard cutting out dairy helps with this. I'm also hearing good things about IT WORKS - http://166393.itworks.net/Default.aspx
    supposed to really help with cellulite/detoxifying
    And don't over-think it, it's just sex
  • JNick77
    JNick77 Posts: 3,783 Member
    I read something from a counselor that suggested a couple try doing this.

    Stand in-front of each other with the lights on. One person take their clothes off and the other takes there's off. NOt sure if it works but overtime it might help you be more comfortable in front of him.

    This really seems to be a common issue and I find it more interesting that this is prominent in attractive women such as yourself. :wink:
  • ShellyLee
    ShellyLee Posts: 293 Member
    My hubby doesn't even ask.. he's always just gotten right in, from the very beginning (as in while still dating) lol. He's really the first bf who has done this though. I think one other bf showered with me.. and only once. But anyway it's the norm now... although to be honest after it happens a few days in a row I really do start to think.. man I would love a shower where I don't have to keep moving out of the way so he can rinse or whatever lol.
    I will add that I'm not always comfortable with my body either, even more so when I'd gained like 35lbs but it never once seemed to bother him. He wants me to be healthy for me and to be comfortable with myself.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    Just gonna be straight up with you. It's all in your head, mama. I don't know what to tell you to do to work on that.
  • MissionABS
    MissionABS Posts: 80
    Start off with a shower in the dark.
  • angelicdisgrace
    angelicdisgrace Posts: 2,071 Member
    He doesn't care he loves and lives you. Get over it and enjoy your love. :smile:
  • carlxo21
    carlxo21 Posts: 143 Member
    This is something you have to deal with yourself. What don't you like about your body? And fix it. Life is way too short to be obsessive about the way you look. It's sad to see how many young girls are constantly criticizing themselves.
  • Ajontheguitar
    Ajontheguitar Posts: 695
    Do a few counseling sessions. In truth, that's what you need. Take it from a man's advice--you will be so happy when you do shower with your husband. He will not want to stop touching, caressing, and staring at your body with glee. I promise you I am not wrong.
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