Would you say something?
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SuzySunshine99
Posts: 2,986 Member
A woman that I work with complains constantly about not being able to lose weight. I typically do not pay attention to what other people are eating/doing, but because of her obvious frustration, I started to notice her habits.
She does 30 minutes of cardio each morning in our company gym, but then follows it up with a protein bar, nuts, and a bottle of gatorade, which I would assume negates whatever calories she just burned.
She snacks all day on almonds, hummus, and yogurt, because they are "good for you". She says she is eating only "healthy foods", but does not appear to be counting calories. She is short and overweight, but not obese, so I would assume her calorie margin of error is relatively small.
She is now saying that she is just "destined to be fat forever" and should just give up.
Would you say something? I have NEVER offered advice to anyone unless asked, and even then I am careful. She has not directly asked anyone for advice, just kind of complained in everyone's general direction.
We are not friends, but have a friendly work relationship. She is a nice person and is obviously very frustrated because she thinks she's doing everything right.
I am leaning towards just mentioning MFP to her and saying that it worked for me. End of advice, let her figure out the rest. But, I'm wondering if even that is overstepping and I should just mind my own business. After all, these are just observations and assumptions and I am obviously not close enough with her to know what her lifestyle outside of work is like.
So, I'm kind of torn and wondering if anyone else has been in this situation.
She does 30 minutes of cardio each morning in our company gym, but then follows it up with a protein bar, nuts, and a bottle of gatorade, which I would assume negates whatever calories she just burned.
She snacks all day on almonds, hummus, and yogurt, because they are "good for you". She says she is eating only "healthy foods", but does not appear to be counting calories. She is short and overweight, but not obese, so I would assume her calorie margin of error is relatively small.
She is now saying that she is just "destined to be fat forever" and should just give up.
Would you say something? I have NEVER offered advice to anyone unless asked, and even then I am careful. She has not directly asked anyone for advice, just kind of complained in everyone's general direction.
We are not friends, but have a friendly work relationship. She is a nice person and is obviously very frustrated because she thinks she's doing everything right.
I am leaning towards just mentioning MFP to her and saying that it worked for me. End of advice, let her figure out the rest. But, I'm wondering if even that is overstepping and I should just mind my own business. After all, these are just observations and assumptions and I am obviously not close enough with her to know what her lifestyle outside of work is like.
So, I'm kind of torn and wondering if anyone else has been in this situation.
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Replies
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When she is about to eat, say really loud "that's why you will always be fat".
Or just let her be. If people don't want advice, they don't ask for advice.15 -
Send her the link for MFP...
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Since she is constantly bringing it up, I see no harm in mentioning MFP.23
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I think if she complains to you or in your vacinity it's not out of bounds to say something like "Oh i know I get frustrated too sometimes but i've heard this website called MFP is really helpful" It's casual and not very invasive and she can choose to accept or reject the idea.
On another note, I think a lot of people sabotage their workouts with sports drinks and post workout snacks when they do very very little. That's a problem I wish could be addressed more. A lot of people think just because they broke a sweat that they NEED a gatorade.20 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »When she is about to eat, say really loud "that's why you will always be fat".
Or just let her be. If people don't want advice, they don't ask for advice.
I just lolled so hard.
If she keeps bringing it up, I would say that MFP worked for me and leave it at that unless she asked more.
That's how it started with my work bestie who ended up being straight up best friend. Now it's a lot of "SAY IT WITH ME NOW SHELLEY I DO NOT NEED TO SPEND MONEY TO BE IN A CALORIE DEFICIT". Drill Sargent like. One day she'll believe me. Or stop asking me the same questions over and over again.7 -
I would say "You know, I actually have experience with successful weight loss, and would be glad to help you if you wanted." And leave it at that.15
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"Do you actually want to lose weight or just b!tch about being fat?"
I'd ignore her.3 -
When I have the impulse to give unsolicited advice, I usually just ask the person if they're just venting or if they'd be interested in hearing my take on it. Then I respond appropriately.36
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Hmmmm, it's tricky. I'd normally advise against getting involved at all, because she might take it the wrong way and make your work relationship awkward. Most of the time, it's a good idea not to give advice unless directly asked.
But because she's bringing it up so much, maybe casually mentioning MFP in the break room might be useful. Or strike up a conversation with someone else within her earshot and tell them about this amazing weight loss website you've been using called MY FITNESS PAL to count your calories!0 -
I agree with the advice above. Tell them that you have some tips and tricks that have worked for you and that you are willing to share if they are interested. If not, than they are on their own.4
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If she openly complains about it but doesn't ask for advice outright, you could just say "If you want, we could sit down sometime or get together outside of work and I can show you how I do it." Prop the door open, but don't try to drag her through. She can decide if and when.9
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Hell no, I would not say a word. Not a word. I have had people come to me and ask what I did to lose weight and then I told them but I would never in a million bajillion years say anything in the situation that you are describing. Her complaints about not losing weight would go in one ear and out the other for me.9
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I thought some more about this. I'm a pretty direct (but tactful) person, but some people might not be comfortable asking a question like my suggestion above. Also some people might not like hearing it!
So if you think dropping hints is the way, maybe do this. When you see her eating her protein bar or hummus, or drinking her sport drink, you could say something like, "Oh hey, I've been wanting to try that brand! How do you like it?"
And after her response, "Maybe I'll give that a shot--I'm watching my weight, though, how many calories are in it?"
If she really doesn't have a clue that the calories matter, this might be enough of a nudge to get her thinking about it. And if she knows you're doing it and is interested, she might ask about your methods.
Not as reliable as my method, but in some cases, hints like this might be the way to go.14 -
"Would you be open to hear some things I've learned during my own weight loss?" That is the most I'd say. If she agrees to listen then you can talk to her about calories, etc, but don't be too surprised if she shoots down all your suggestions with, "that doesn't work for me".3
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I think everyone has great advice. I work with several women. Most of them like the idea of losing weight but really don't care to put in the effort. They rather have a "magic pill", crash diet or complain. I think it depends on her personality.0
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Thanks, everyone. I'm going to ponder all the advice for a while and decide what to do (if anything). I appreciate the feedback and different points of view.3
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"Oh shoot i forgot to log my breakfast on my fitness pal, i better do it now quickly"
If shes interested she will either ask you what it is or she will google and check it out herself1 -
Look at it this way, if you say nothing and she remains fat you are hotter than her.11
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"You workout everyday, I understand your frustration. It was the same for me until I started using MFP. I had no idea how many calories were in the healthy foods I was eating. I was eating more calories than I should in a day and doing so ruined the amount I burned during my workouts." That's relating a story. It's not judging or being preachy, for most of us, that's the truth. Maybe her being so vocal is a cry for help, or she could totally be just a drama queen.22
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Its always 'mind my own business' unless they ask for advice specially. I am not a mind reader.
...if you two know each other really well or well enough, I would assume both of you have a good enough rapport to give such advice..
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