Lost over 50 pounds...but (too skinny? really?)

Fatvaporizer
Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
edited November 18 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi, I'm 5'7" and I started off trying to lose weight when I was around 210 lbs. Now that I've lost about 50 pounds successfully - I'm at 160 lbs now, people are telling me I look good and so on, but some family are telling me that I'm getting 'way too skinny,' and not to continue trying to lose weight. I had planned in my mind to go to 140 lbs or even lower, but since they're telling me not to lose anymore, I'm at a dilemma as to what to do. I don't know if I should just maintain, or continue.

The thing is, I personally think I should continue because even though I lost all that weight (50 lbs), I still have visible fat everywhere - well, especially my belly, arms, and upper chest, etc. The flabbiness is still there and it shows especially when I sit down, like layers of flab. It discourages me to see myself look 'very skinny' to people, but when I'm shirtless, I see all that flab they can't see under my shirt. So knowing that, I know I have to continue to lose that fat and flab, but if they already think I'm 'too skinny,' how is it going to be when I lose even more weight? Will I be called anorexic? It's so confusing.

Also, I don't get how I've lost 50 pounds, which clearly shows in that my pants stopped fitting me and I need to wear a belt now, and I've clearly gotten a slimmer body frame, YET, I still have all that flab and my face still seems to remain a bit 'large?'... I don't know, I'm not as satisfied as I'd like to be. Maybe I have the mindset that at 160 pounds, I'm at my goal weight already since people are telling me that I'm 'slim now.' Maybe I still need to in fact lose more weight to get rid of all this flab and fat I'm talking about.

Need some advice please, thank you.

Replies

  • Fatvaporizer
    Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    Is it fat, or loose skin? There's a difference. What does your doctor think is a healthy goal for you? Your family loves you, but they are used to seeing you bigger, so smaller is a shock to them. They just need time to adjust. Pick a goal for yourself and confirm with your doc that it's fine. Thank your family for their concern, and do your thing.

    I believe it's fat, because I read somewhere that it's only loose skin if it's like an inch or so that can be squeezed, at most. For me it's way more than an inch, it's literally probably like a handful of fat still left, especially in my belly area. I still have slight man-breasts, soft and fatty in that area. lol. It doesn't show under the shirt, which is what sucks. It shows when I'm not wearing a shirt and worse when I'm sitting down, than if I'm standing or laying down.
  • ladyreva78
    ladyreva78 Posts: 4,080 Member
    edited May 2017
    Well, look at it this way, according to BMI, you're still in the overweight range (25.1). Not by much granted, but 'overweight' in any case. So, chances are that you truly still have some excess fat you could do with losing. Your goal weight leaves you well within a healthy range.

    The thing is, the people who are calling you 'too skinny' have probably never seen you that thin. In their frame of reference you were 'fat' and any amount lost will be a shock to them. Their ideal for you should be of no concern to you. You're the one who has to feel comfortable in your skin. If they won't or can't drop it, go to a doctor and have a full check up and have him/her validate your weight goal. It's a sensible goal (BMI just under 22 @ 140lbs) so I highly doubt any doctor will tell you it's a bad idea.

    Over time, the people calling you 'too skinny' will get used to how you look. In the mean time, just change the topic of conversation. Don't bother trying to justify yourself to them. Don't bother trying to explain yourself to them. I'm a bit shorter and my goal is a smidgen higher (and I'm still quite a bit higher in weight and already get those types of comments). My standard answer is: "That's nice that you think so, but my doctor agrees with my goal."

    It's your body. Your health. Only you can decide if where you are is where you feel comfortable.



    EDIT: because grammar is hard in the morning...
  • Fatvaporizer
    Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
    Thank you. That's what I think too, that they aren't used to seeing me this skinny, which is why they're acting worried about me. I look at myself in the mirror with clothes on and yes, I do look a lot skinnier than I was before, and in pictures too. But, like I said, under the clothes there's still fat and flab. So about being in the 'overweight range' still, that's very true. I wish I could explain that to them, but nope, they think I'm getting 'too skinny.' lol.
  • ladyreva78
    ladyreva78 Posts: 4,080 Member
    So give them time and keep on doing you. If their comments get to a point you can't deal with them anymore and it's a close family member, offer to take them to a doctor's appointment with you. Distant family members tend to be easier to ignore/avoid.

    As long as you're not doing anything unhealthy to reach your goals, then I see nothing inherently wrong with them.

    Good luck :smile:
  • Fatvaporizer
    Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
    Thank you :) I've even thought about showing my belly flabs to them, although embarrassing lol but as evidence that I'm not too skinny like they say.
  • SashaQ1381
    SashaQ1381 Posts: 35 Member

    Keep going until it's safe and comfortable for you. Also, do NOT rush it and lose it too fast. That only leads to different problems. Previous posters have already given you some good advice so I am just here to cheer you on! :D<3
  • Fatvaporizer
    Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
    Thanks!
  • Mandi98U
    Mandi98U Posts: 115 Member
    I was in a similar situation as you a couple years ago. I'm 5'7 and started at 230 lbs then dropped down to 160, and a lot of people told me I looked to skinny. Even if I had gained 10lbs since the last time they saw, (so like 160 then up to 170) they would tell me that I needed to stop loosing weight or I would be unhealthy. In my experience I find that most people that said I looked to skinny, just got used to seeing me fat, so it was a constant shock to them. Whenever it was brought up I learned to just say that I was at a healthy weight for my body. Also you are the one who has to like your body, so if you see room for improvement don't let other people's opinion stop you.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Fatvaporizer wrote: »
    Also, I don't get how I've lost 50 pounds, which clearly shows in that my pants stopped fitting me and I need to wear a belt now, and I've clearly gotten a slimmer body frame, YET, I still have all that flab and my face still seems to remain a bit 'large?'... I don't know, I'm not as satisfied as I'd like to be. Maybe I have the mindset that at 160 pounds, I'm at my goal weight already since people are telling me that I'm 'slim now.' Maybe I still need to in fact lose more weight to get rid of all this flab and fat I'm talking about.

    Need some advice please, thank you.

    It is completely normal to arrive at your initial goal weight and find out you have more fat to lose. It's often because of of a previous sedentary lifestyle, which provides little to no stimulus for muscle building so you end up with a lot of fat and very little muscle. If you don't do anything during weight loss to minimize muscle loss (e.g., following a progressive resistance program such as lifting weights and getting sufficient protein) you don't change your body composition for the better. And even if you do lift while losing, you can reach a "healthy" weight and still have a lot of fat on you. I'd say that most formerly obese people need at least a few years after hitting their goal weights to improve their body composition to the point where they are somewhat close to what they initially pictured in their heads.

  • toxikon
    toxikon Posts: 2,383 Member
    edited May 2017
    Just keep doing what you're doing. As long as you're not dipping into an underweight BMI, and you feel good, don't worry about what other people say. Just reassure them that you know what you're doing and you feel great and healthy.
  • anybeary
    anybeary Posts: 188 Member
    Don't listen to other people. Clearly you're not anorexic. Your BMI in no way reflects that! If your family members are used to seeing you one way, and now you look differently, they may just be having a hard time getting used to the change. You will also have a hard time getting used to seeing a different "you" in the mirror. The first time I lost weight, I had the same problem. I lost 40, and I didn't really like the way I looked still...it was just different and I couldn't get used to it. I gained the weight back. Then I was REALLY unhappy! And my body felt it in my joints, etc. Keep doing what you're doing and start working on strength training. You'll start getting muscles and it'll be awesome!
  • Ruatine
    Ruatine Posts: 3,424 Member
    Fatvaporizer wrote: »
    Hi, I'm 5'7" and I started off trying to lose weight when I was around 210 lbs. Now that I've lost about 50 pounds successfully - I'm at 160 lbs now, people are telling me I look good and so on, but some family are telling me that I'm getting 'way too skinny,' and not to continue trying to lose weight. I had planned in my mind to go to 140 lbs or even lower, but since they're telling me not to lose anymore, I'm at a dilemma as to what to do. I don't know if I should just maintain, or continue.

    The thing is, I personally think I should continue because even though I lost all that weight (50 lbs), I still have visible fat everywhere - well, especially my belly, arms, and upper chest, etc. The flabbiness is still there and it shows especially when I sit down, like layers of flab. It discourages me to see myself look 'very skinny' to people, but when I'm shirtless, I see all that flab they can't see under my shirt. So knowing that, I know I have to continue to lose that fat and flab, but if they already think I'm 'too skinny,' how is it going to be when I lose even more weight? Will I be called anorexic? It's so confusing.

    Also, I don't get how I've lost 50 pounds, which clearly shows in that my pants stopped fitting me and I need to wear a belt now, and I've clearly gotten a slimmer body frame, YET, I still have all that flab and my face still seems to remain a bit 'large?'... I don't know, I'm not as satisfied as I'd like to be. Maybe I have the mindset that at 160 pounds, I'm at my goal weight already since people are telling me that I'm 'slim now.' Maybe I still need to in fact lose more weight to get rid of all this flab and fat I'm talking about.

    Need some advice please, thank you.

    I'm also 5'7" and about 160 lbs (down from 240ish). My family and friends have made the same kind of comments, but I still want to lose about 20 lbs. I ignore them. My weight loss is for me and no one else. I'll go until I'm satisfied that I've reached a manageable goal. Don't worry about people commenting on how "skinny" you are. Many people have a completely skewed view of what a healthy weight looks like. Like others have said too, people who knew you at a higher weight will take time to adjust to how you look now.

    Also, I definitely still have fat left to lose at this weight as well. Considering it's just above the "overweight" line, it's not surprising.
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