Would you say something?
Replies
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In most cases, no I wouldn't... I don't like people that well.
But at some point the constant complaining would get to me, so I'd probably drop a blunt but not insulting comment about the importance of how much she eats vs what she eats. Also, if saying something is going to suddenly make us BFFs, or make the workplace awkward, then no I wouldn't.0 -
If she says something around you again, I'd mention MFP. People don't want unsolicited advice, but offering something without being preachy like "hey I use this website, it helps me track my portions and I had no idea I was eating too many calories in a day!" could just... be helpful. I've always been obese and fit people have taken it upon themselves to constantly offer me advice. Sometimes it was appreciated (hey have you tried using almond milk instead of 2% milk?) and sometimes it was just mean, and they knew it was mean.2
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I only give advice to people that will act on it. Ask if she wants help and if she'll do what you suggest...if not, forget it. People need their own motivation. With the internet, all the info I have is available to everyone else so there's no excuse to be ignorant. If you want guidance though, I'll happily help.0
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Usually people just like to complain so unless she asks what you did say nothing she obviously does not want tohear it.1
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You are assuming MFP will solve her issue. Perhaps she has a underlying medical issue such as thyroid or hormone imbalance causing problems. With her not being a friend, you dont have a full picture of her daily story. What works for one may not work for another. I would suggest you only offer advice if asked and then not go in with the idea that if they only did what you did it would solve their problem. Good luck5
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Unless she comes up to you and asks HOW you've been losing weight, stay out of it. And even then, answer knowing your advice won't be appreciated.
Someone at my office recently asked me how I was losing weight, and I mentioned MFP.
Her response: You mean you have to log EVERYTHING you eat???
My response: Why, yes. But its not that bad. Everything is in the database.
Her response: Well, you have it easy. You don't have THIS ISSUE and THAT ISSUE wrong with you.
My response: Other people have those issues. You should check the community forums to find people with similar health issues. They've found work-arounds.
At that point, I shrugged and walked away. She wanted a magic bullet, not a logical solution.
P.S., I have my own health issues... MFP still works.4 -
Print out the chart and leave it on her desk when she's not around.
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Didn’t realize this story would be over so quickly…
I was all set to not say anything unless she specifically asked me (and as a side note, she was not working here when I lost my weight). BUT, this morning she gave me a golden opportunity. We were the only two people in the company gym, and she started a conversation that went roughly like this:
Co-Worker: I don’t know why I bother with this…I never lose any weight. You’re so lucky that you’re thin.
Me: Actually, I really used to struggle with my weight, so I understand. A few years ago, I lost a lot of weight using My Fitness Pal.
CW: Someone else told me about that app. You have to weigh all your food and type in everything you eat? It sounds complicated.
Me: It’s not really. It’s just calorie counting, which is the only thing that worked for me. If you want to give it a shot, I can show you how to set it up.
CW: Nah, thanks though. I think I’m just going to stop eating carbs.
Me: Okay.
So, I am TOTALLY off the hook! I’ll no longer have these weird guilty feelings when she’s venting about not losing weight. I’ll just put in my virtual earplugs, and never say another word about it to her unless she changes her mind and wants info on MFP…or if she starts stinking up the office with apple cider vinegar or something. Anyway, thank you all for your advice on this delicate situation.
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »When she is about to eat, say really loud "that's why you will always be fat".
Or just let her be. If people don't want advice, they don't ask for advice.
Absolutely do NOT do this. First of all, it's rude. Second, you will be in trouble if she decides to report you to HR.
IMO it depends on just how close you are to this coworker. I sometimes discuss diet options with a couple of my coworkers, but they're also friends of mine. Not sure if I would bring it up with 'acquaintance' coworkers (unless asked).
If you do bring it up, do it casually rather than be a Second Coming of Calorie Counting Evangelist, if you know what I mean. No matter if you're doing calorie counting, low carb, no sugar, whatever, it's really unsettling when people are too into pushing their particular dietary habits on others. Also, if you decide to bring it up, bring it up only once.
I get how frustrating it can be when someone else is having a problem and you're thinking "But I know the answer!", but they don't follow your advice. But it does happen a lot and you just have to accept it. Example: I have a coworker who is terrible with his money and is loaded down with debt. I know what I would do if I was in his shoes, which is stop spending so much money (hundred of dollars) on collectibles each month. And stop driving in the carpool lane, which means he gets traffic tickets all the time (which he also complains about). It is sooo frustrating that he won't take anyone's advice, but he won't and that's the way it is.1 -
Totally wouldn't say a word since she's not an actual friend, plus it's your work environment.
When I was really heavy, I talked about how I was unable to lose weight so people would know I WANTED to lose weight. I did it so they didn't think I thought it was okay to be overweight. But I knew I had to eat less in order to lose. Period. I can't even imagine there's anyone on earth who doesn't know that.
She probably is fully aware of at least this very basic fact, unless she's been living under a rock until yesterday or so, and just doesn't want to be seen as that woman who "looooooooooves [her] curves!" and "owns it!" because she's embarrassed...that's just my guess.0 -
SuzySunshine99 wrote: »She does 30 minutes of cardio each morning in our company gym, but then follows it up with a protein bar, nuts, and a bottle of gatorade, which I would assume negates whatever calories she just burned.
A few years ago, I noticed that when I'd ride (a bike) hard on really hot days when the sun beat down, later on I'd drink cup after cup of water and not really feel any less thirsty. Gatorade helped a lot with this. I have this loop around a lake that I ride after work, it burns about 200 kCal. A 32 oz bottle of Gatorade has 200 kCal in it. Now the drink doesn't negate the fun or the feeling of the wind on my face, but there's no weight benefit here.
That's when I discovered Nuun tablets. Same basic thing, an electrolyte replacement, but it's about 5 kCal per glass. And they don't taste quite as bad.
A guy I work with was complaining about how his weight loss stopped when he started running. We talked for a few minutes, he gets "rungry" and that's a big part of it, but he took Gatorade up, too; I told him what I'd learned and a week later he said it was helpful.4 -
I want to add that unless you are hanging over her shoulder all day, tallying exactly what she eats, how much, etc, you really don't know how many calories she's ingesting. You also don't know what she does/doesn't eat when not at work. Whoa, she eats a protein bar and nuts after working out??? . . . so do a lot of people, lol. For all you know she actually is at a calorie deficit and is complaining because her rate of loss is "too slow" or something, or because she gained three pounds of water weight overnight.0
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The problem here is your relationship. If she were a friend saying 'Have you tried MFP' or even joking and saying something about her 'Eating her burn' would prob be ok. But, you guys are colleagues and remaining friendly and cordial is essential. You'll either become the font of all knowledge and then consciously or subconsciously on her part become involved in her success or, more likely failure. Or she could resent the advice or take it completely wrong (so - you ARE saying she's fat). I just wouldn't...1
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Unless people like this are personal (close) friends, I don't say anything. Most people I've come across that are like this know exactly what they need to do to lose weight, they are just too lazy/unmotivated to do it.1
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Saying anything puts you in a delicate situation, regarding her reaction to any comment you may make. You're correct in seeing that she's eating all the time and calories are calories regardless if they come from almonds and yogurt or Doritos and soda.
Despite your best intentions to help her see this, she very well may take anything you say as an insult, like the Super Genius a couple of posts above said.
Personally I would stay out of it and let her make her comments to the room. Unless she directly asks you for your opinion, I would keep your opinions to yourself.0 -
People. Please read threads before responding. The situation has been resolved.5
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People. Please read threads before responding. The situation has been resolved.
I can't see why more input, experiences, etc. wouldn't be helpful for this general theme, as more than just the OP encounters this sort of uncomfortable situation and all such situations will pan out differently. It also helps to know how people *generally* feel about this so that someone at a loss in this sort of situation can at least take a stab at what will more likely than not be the right thing to do. I learned that by reading the thread. 2 -
I'm glad the situation resolved so cleanly. I could never do low carb (I love my pancakes) but hopefully it will work for her. 1
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DO NOT ENGAGE. But seriously, if she asks what you are doing or your advice, share. If it's just general bitching, stay out of it.1
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People. Please read threads before responding. The situation has been resolved.
I can't see why more input, experiences, etc. wouldn't be helpful for this general theme, as more than just the OP encounters this sort of uncomfortable situation and all such situations will pan out differently. It also helps to know how people *generally* feel about this so that someone at a loss in this sort of situation can at least take a stab at what will more likely than not be the right thing to do. I learned that by reading the thread.
No objection to that at all. I'm on board with it. Even taking the thread in a different direction is fine. But the above responses did not appear to be that. They were specifically talking about this situation, as if it were a current issue. It's worse in other threads (not this one) when people start asking questions that have been clearly addressed, or offering suggestions that have already been validly rejected. Just a pet peeve, I guess. If one doesn't have the time to read what's already been said and/or resolved, perhaps one should just sit out the conversation. Or at least preface it with a boilerplate didn't-read-the-whole-thread disclaimer.
TL;DR: Sorry. Clearly I've been bottling that up for a while.
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It drives me nuts when I'm in situations like this. I had the same problem at my last job which was overloaded with obese people of both genders. One, in particular, was constantly "on a diet" and then I'd see them come to a lunchroom with a giant bag from McDonald's just for them.
I really, REALLY wanted to say something, but I don't think anything good could come from it.
It's weird. People are so willing to walk up and tell strangers smoking cigarettes that smoking is bad for your health, but everyone's so hesitant to tell an overweight person at a fast food restaurant that eating unhealthy foods is bad for you.
I'm all for positive self-image, but I think there's a bit of a negative trend coming from people thinking society should think they're beautiful just the way they are. You should definitely have self-confidence and love yourself, but if you're unhealthy, you should work to change it.
If we're concerned about unhealthy habits causing medical insurance premiums to rise, we need to not discriminate in the opposite direction - smoking is bad, but so is poor eating.1 -
irxproductions wrote: »It drives me nuts when I'm in situations like this. I had the same problem at my last job which was overloaded with obese people of both genders. One, in particular, was constantly "on a diet" and then I'd see them come to a lunchroom with a giant bag from McDonald's just for them.
I really, REALLY wanted to say something, but I don't think anything good could come from it.
It's weird. People are so willing to walk up and tell strangers smoking cigarettes that smoking is bad for your health, but everyone's so hesitant to tell an overweight person at a fast food restaurant that eating unhealthy foods is bad for you.
I'm all for positive self-image, but I think there's a bit of a negative trend coming from people thinking society should think they're beautiful just the way they are. You should definitely have self-confidence and love yourself, but if you're unhealthy, you should work to change it.
If we're concerned about unhealthy habits causing medical insurance premiums to rise, we need to not discriminate in the opposite direction - smoking is bad, but so is poor eating.
Ever seen someone puffing on a cigarette go up and tell a smoker they should quit as its bad for THEM?
I had a slim guy who had just shovelled down 3 cheeseburgers come tell me that i shouldnt drink milkshakes because im fat..... it was a diet coke
Fact is if were both in mcdonalds then were both eating supposed "unhealthy foods" and without know each others calorie goal, how many calories weve each had that day and if it fits in with macro goals then you dont have enough info to butt in and start a lecture
Ive also never lectured a smoker, im sure they are aware of the risks and as adults its thier choice. I just avoid being near them5 -
I’d just say I use mfp， works for me. I've heard lots of people complaining at not losing weight when they think they're doing the ‘right things’ and they've all been interested in finding out what mfp is once I mention it. I wouldn't go into it any further cause when I describe it they seem to look like it's too much hard work lol. Before I knew about mfp I ate what I thought was healthy etc but was clueless to what I was actually consuming calorie wise and wish I had known about mfp earlier.1
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ruqayyahsmum wrote: »Ever seen someone puffing on a cigarette go up and tell a smoker they should quit as its bad for THEM?
Sadly, many years ago, I used to smoke. Proud to say I quit nearly 10 years ago.
I regularly had people I didn't know come up and tell me that it was bad for me. Because of this, I make a practice of NEVER telling anyone I don't know what they should and shouldn't do. Like you, I just avoid smokers now (can't stand the smell, ironically).
As for telling people not to eat poorly, I wouldn't do that, either. What people want to do is their business.
Unfortunately, we have a serious health crisis facing the U.S. on multiple fronts. There are huge anti-smoking campaigns which are fantastic, but our obesity epidemic needs attention, too. We're all far too sensitive about the subject, and I think it's important we get comfortable talking about it.
That being said, that guy was a total jerk. You should have thrown your soda at him!0 -
Unless you're basically an olympic athlete that's sweating hard for hours, you don't need gatorade after working out. I ran track from 8-18 years old and I've been in the army since then. I'm 32 now. I don't drink gatorade after working out (except very rare occasions because I wanted to drink it). And I've been in full mopp gear in summer running up a hill. That makes you sweat.0
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Don't say anything unless she directly asks for an advice.
I have a very big colleague, about 300 pounds or so, and she's constantly complains about not being able to lose weight, yet she eats for 3. Once I mentioned to her that she shouldn't have a dessert after finishing a whole large pizza for lunch. Now she calls me anorexic (im 5.10 and 155 pounds, trying to lose 10 pounds).
Say nothing. Let her live her life and enjoy her own path. If she needs help, she'll ask for it.0 -
No unless asked I don't tend to give advice to people on weightloss. It's not worth it in my opinion.0
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If she's really eating that many nuts and protien bars, she probably has no idea how many calories they really hold. Tell her to start using a calorie counter.0
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SuzySunshine99 wrote: »Didn’t realize this story would be over so quickly…
I was all set to not say anything unless she specifically asked me (and as a side note, she was not working here when I lost my weight). BUT, this morning she gave me a golden opportunity. We were the only two people in the company gym, and she started a conversation that went roughly like this:
Co-Worker: I don’t know why I bother with this…I never lose any weight. You’re so lucky that you’re thin.
Me: Actually, I really used to struggle with my weight, so I understand. A few years ago, I lost a lot of weight using My Fitness Pal.
CW: Someone else told me about that app. You have to weigh all your food and type in everything you eat? It sounds complicated.
Me: It’s not really. It’s just calorie counting, which is the only thing that worked for me. If you want to give it a shot, I can show you how to set it up.
CW: Nah, thanks though. I think I’m just going to stop eating carbs.
Me: Okay.
So, I am TOTALLY off the hook! I’ll no longer have these weird guilty feelings when she’s venting about not losing weight. I’ll just put in my virtual earplugs, and never say another word about it to her unless she changes her mind and wants info on MFP…or if she starts stinking up the office with apple cider vinegar or something. Anyway, thank you all for your advice on this delicate situation.
I'll never understand people who believe that cutting a whole food group is easier than just logging what you eat.2 -
SuzySunshine99 wrote: »Didn’t realize this story would be over so quickly…
I was all set to not say anything unless she specifically asked me (and as a side note, she was not working here when I lost my weight). BUT, this morning she gave me a golden opportunity. We were the only two people in the company gym, and she started a conversation that went roughly like this:
Co-Worker: I don’t know why I bother with this…I never lose any weight. You’re so lucky that you’re thin.
Me: Actually, I really used to struggle with my weight, so I understand. A few years ago, I lost a lot of weight using My Fitness Pal.
CW: Someone else told me about that app. You have to weigh all your food and type in everything you eat? It sounds complicated.
Me: It’s not really. It’s just calorie counting, which is the only thing that worked for me. If you want to give it a shot, I can show you how to set it up.
CW: Nah, thanks though. I think I’m just going to stop eating carbs.
Me: Okay.
So, I am TOTALLY off the hook! I’ll no longer have these weird guilty feelings when she’s venting about not losing weight. I’ll just put in my virtual earplugs, and never say another word about it to her unless she changes her mind and wants info on MFP…or if she starts stinking up the office with apple cider vinegar or something. Anyway, thank you all for your advice on this delicate situation.
I'll never understand people who believe that cutting a whole food group is easier than just logging what you eat.
I think people confuse "simple" with "easy". Technically, it's simple to not eat carbs, or any other specific type of food. But it's not easy. I know I personally could never maintain a diet that completely excluded anything.0
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