Would you say something?
Replies
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wsandy8512 wrote: »"You workout everyday, I understand your frustration. It was the same for me until I started using MFP. I had no idea how many calories were in the healthy foods I was eating. I was eating more calories than I should in a day and doing so ruined the amount I burned during my workouts." That's relating a story. It's not judging or being preachy, for most of us, that's the truth. Maybe her being so vocal is a cry for help, or she could totally be just a drama queen.
I really like this...thank you.7 -
I think I'd let it be. If she wants advice, she'll ask.1
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TavistockToad wrote: »Send her the link for MFP...
I did this for someone at work who commented on my weight loss and complained that she couldn't seem to lose any just about every day.
Finally after that had been going on for months, I sent her a link to MFP and simply said that it helped me.
She has commented on my weight loss and complained that she can't seem to lose only a few times since.0 -
I wouldn't bother. It would be a waste of breath/time/effort. People have to figure it out for themselves.
I've lost count of the number of people who have asked me how I've lost weight and immediately lost interest once counting calories enters the conversation.3 -
This is exactly what NOT to do. You can offer help by just saying what worked for You in a private environment, if not, ignore itIronandwine69 wrote: »When she is about to eat, say really loud "that's why you will always be fat".
Or just let her be. If people don't want advice, they don't ask for advice.
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In most circumstances, unless asked, do not offer advice.4
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I'd never offered advice unless asked. What did happen though as people started to notice my weightloss that
1 people would come to me and ask
2 people were told 'if she can; you can!' and/or 'Talk to her' She/her being me
3 one also got told to stop whining and do 'like she did" pointing at me (highly embarrassing for both of us).
I told many people about MFP and that all I did was eat less and count calories when they asked. Out of those only three that I know of took my advice and either joined here or found an alternative and went ahead.
So no don't give advice, lead by example and wait until she asks or somebody tells her. Then still no guarantee that she will take that advice.1 -
Well is she complaining to you specifically? You're not really friend with her so it's not like you'd have anything to lose if you just mentioned that you've lost weight using MFP. You could play the naive card and say something like 'before I started logging, I never realized how many calories are even in healthy foods!'.2
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If you're at work I would mind my own business.3
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Hell no, I would not say a word. Not a word. I have had people come to me and ask what I did to lose weight and then I told them but I would never in a million bajillion years say anything in the situation that you are describing. Her complaints about not losing weight would go in one ear and out the other for me.
This.
She might go back to complaining about not losing weight after day 3.0 -
In most cases, no I wouldn't... I don't like people that well.
But at some point the constant complaining would get to me, so I'd probably drop a blunt but not insulting comment about the importance of how much she eats vs what she eats. Also, if saying something is going to suddenly make us BFFs, or make the workplace awkward, then no I wouldn't.0 -
If she says something around you again, I'd mention MFP. People don't want unsolicited advice, but offering something without being preachy like "hey I use this website, it helps me track my portions and I had no idea I was eating too many calories in a day!" could just... be helpful. I've always been obese and fit people have taken it upon themselves to constantly offer me advice. Sometimes it was appreciated (hey have you tried using almond milk instead of 2% milk?) and sometimes it was just mean, and they knew it was mean.2
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I only give advice to people that will act on it. Ask if she wants help and if she'll do what you suggest...if not, forget it. People need their own motivation. With the internet, all the info I have is available to everyone else so there's no excuse to be ignorant. If you want guidance though, I'll happily help.0
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Usually people just like to complain so unless she asks what you did say nothing she obviously does not want tohear it.1
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You are assuming MFP will solve her issue. Perhaps she has a underlying medical issue such as thyroid or hormone imbalance causing problems. With her not being a friend, you dont have a full picture of her daily story. What works for one may not work for another. I would suggest you only offer advice if asked and then not go in with the idea that if they only did what you did it would solve their problem. Good luck5
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Unless she comes up to you and asks HOW you've been losing weight, stay out of it. And even then, answer knowing your advice won't be appreciated.
Someone at my office recently asked me how I was losing weight, and I mentioned MFP.
Her response: You mean you have to log EVERYTHING you eat???
My response: Why, yes. But its not that bad. Everything is in the database.
Her response: Well, you have it easy. You don't have THIS ISSUE and THAT ISSUE wrong with you.
My response: Other people have those issues. You should check the community forums to find people with similar health issues. They've found work-arounds.
At that point, I shrugged and walked away. She wanted a magic bullet, not a logical solution.
P.S., I have my own health issues... MFP still works.4 -
Print out the chart and leave it on her desk when she's not around.2
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Didn’t realize this story would be over so quickly…
I was all set to not say anything unless she specifically asked me (and as a side note, she was not working here when I lost my weight). BUT, this morning she gave me a golden opportunity. We were the only two people in the company gym, and she started a conversation that went roughly like this:
Co-Worker: I don’t know why I bother with this…I never lose any weight. You’re so lucky that you’re thin.
Me: Actually, I really used to struggle with my weight, so I understand. A few years ago, I lost a lot of weight using My Fitness Pal.
CW: Someone else told me about that app. You have to weigh all your food and type in everything you eat? It sounds complicated.
Me: It’s not really. It’s just calorie counting, which is the only thing that worked for me. If you want to give it a shot, I can show you how to set it up.
CW: Nah, thanks though. I think I’m just going to stop eating carbs.
Me: Okay.
So, I am TOTALLY off the hook! I’ll no longer have these weird guilty feelings when she’s venting about not losing weight. I’ll just put in my virtual earplugs, and never say another word about it to her unless she changes her mind and wants info on MFP…or if she starts stinking up the office with apple cider vinegar or something. Anyway, thank you all for your advice on this delicate situation.
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »When she is about to eat, say really loud "that's why you will always be fat".
Or just let her be. If people don't want advice, they don't ask for advice.
Absolutely do NOT do this. First of all, it's rude. Second, you will be in trouble if she decides to report you to HR.
IMO it depends on just how close you are to this coworker. I sometimes discuss diet options with a couple of my coworkers, but they're also friends of mine. Not sure if I would bring it up with 'acquaintance' coworkers (unless asked).
If you do bring it up, do it casually rather than be a Second Coming of Calorie Counting Evangelist, if you know what I mean. No matter if you're doing calorie counting, low carb, no sugar, whatever, it's really unsettling when people are too into pushing their particular dietary habits on others. Also, if you decide to bring it up, bring it up only once.
I get how frustrating it can be when someone else is having a problem and you're thinking "But I know the answer!", but they don't follow your advice. But it does happen a lot and you just have to accept it. Example: I have a coworker who is terrible with his money and is loaded down with debt. I know what I would do if I was in his shoes, which is stop spending so much money (hundred of dollars) on collectibles each month. And stop driving in the carpool lane, which means he gets traffic tickets all the time (which he also complains about). It is sooo frustrating that he won't take anyone's advice, but he won't and that's the way it is.1 -
Totally wouldn't say a word since she's not an actual friend, plus it's your work environment.
When I was really heavy, I talked about how I was unable to lose weight so people would know I WANTED to lose weight. I did it so they didn't think I thought it was okay to be overweight. But I knew I had to eat less in order to lose. Period. I can't even imagine there's anyone on earth who doesn't know that.
She probably is fully aware of at least this very basic fact, unless she's been living under a rock until yesterday or so, and just doesn't want to be seen as that woman who "looooooooooves [her] curves!" and "owns it!" because she's embarrassed...that's just my guess.0
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