Do you know someone like this?

KBrenOH
KBrenOH Posts: 704 Member
edited September 30 in Chit-Chat
I have a friend who absolutely drives me nuts. She complains about money as she is unemployed and yet, she has a new blackberry that she "needs". She "needs" cable because she had 2 small boys (3 and 5). And my favorite is, it's cheaper to give them crappy food than it is to cook them a real meal with say some chicken, fresh veggies and a small salad or something.

Guess what. I'm unemployed too. Money is very tight and there are times where we're trying to figure out which bill to pay, and whether it's gas in the car or groceries in the fridge. But I can still make a meal cheaper here at home than it would cost to go to McDonald's and it'll be a whole lot healthier.
And if I had to choose between eating or having the extra's like a cell bill, cable etc? Well, a landline will work just as well, people will just have to wait to reach me, and my kids can find something else to do other than sit in front of a tv.

/rant off and sorry. I woke up in a bad mood this morning.

Replies

  • superstah00
    superstah00 Posts: 104 Member
    I know tons of people like that and it drives me CRAZY!!!!! People need to learn to prioritize what is really important in life. :noway:
  • vsyates
    vsyates Posts: 373 Member
    OMG!! What an awesome post. I DO know someone just like this (are we neighbors?) I just shake my head when she starts talking her talk.....
  • fastbelly
    fastbelly Posts: 727 Member
    I know tens of people like that... and its a breed of people that is expanding really. I don't understand how people can save on the health of their kids.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Yes, I know a number of people like that. It is not cheaper to eat at McD's or other fast food, It's easier. I wish they'd just admit that they are purposely ruining their childrens health because they are too friggin' lazy prepared meals for them.
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
    People like that remind me of how much I hate people.
  • RickRedding
    RickRedding Posts: 4 Member
    You can't choose a lot of things... but you can choose your friends and who you hang around with. Who you listen to and surround yourself with will have a huge impact.

    I'm just sayin'... :)
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
    We cannot change what others do - we can only change how we react to it. You know what to do. :-)
  • Trishkit
    Trishkit Posts: 290 Member
    OH YES! That describes my in-laws exactly! *sigh*
  • kslindner
    kslindner Posts: 107
    THANK YOU! I am unemployed, too, and I would rather go without than to have my daughter eat junk. I make sure that the FIRST thing I do is have healthy food in the fridge for her. I cook her healthy meals, and she even told me she would rather eat veggies than fast food. (Yay for my girl!)

    Doesn't this woman know that fruit and veggies at a grocery store cost WAY less than fast food???
  • ohwhataday
    ohwhataday Posts: 1,398 Member
    We cannot change what others do - we can only change how we react to it. You know what to do. :-)

    this.
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
    Yes I know that person. My husband lost his job 8 months ago. Things are tight to say the least. I cook everything from scratch, it's cheaper and better for you. I have found a veggie co-op to offset the cost of produce. I got rid of the land line years ago and with two teens we have all cell phones. We cut cable/internet. The only bills I have currently are rent/elect/water/cell/car insurance/fuel/food. It's tough. I can't stand to listen to people complain.... Life is what you make of it. Suck it up and try and have a good time.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Also unemployed. I can't AFFORD to go to McDonalds! :laugh: I can make much better burgers and fries for a lot less at home.

    I'll admit. Sometimes we splurge and go out to eat. Maybe twice a month. And we go either with a really good coupon, or or take advantage of late night "happy hour" pricing, like at Applebees when appetizers are half price after 9pm.

    I used to eat all the "cheap and easy" foods. Hamburger Helper, Rice A Roni, etc. It's a lot cheaper to buy a box of pasta or a bag of rice and add your own HEALTHY flavors than use their the tiny amount that comes in their boxes with their little flavored sodium pouches. When you think there's maybe 25 cents worth of rice or noodles in one of those things, and at a GOOD price they're about a buck fifty... there's nothing cheap about them!
  • aldale
    aldale Posts: 118 Member
    Amen!!! The worst to me is when I see a well dressed woman with a designer purse in line in front of me at the grocery store, talking on a cell phone with their nails professionally done, pushing a full buggy containing lots of unhealthy foods, followed by three or more healthy looking children, and she pulls out a food stamp card to pay for the groceries. Then she will walk to a gas guzzling new vehicle in the parking lot.

    I am a stay at home mom with two kids, my husband is self employed and works super hard. We count every penny that comes into our home and budget. I have no cell phone. I never get my nails done. I try to make sure that my children are fed nutritious meals every night, though. I would only ever use food stamps if I was in dire need and had given up everything I could give up. I cannot believe some people just use them to supplement their income.
  • MissionABS
    MissionABS Posts: 80
    Unfortunately I think we all know several people like this. We are living in a "can't do without" world. The unemployed with bad spending habits are not nearly as bad as the welfare recipients with bad spending habits. At least the unemployed are doing it with money they put into the system. The welfare recipients are doing it with my tax dollars.
  • KBrenOH
    KBrenOH Posts: 704 Member
    What frustrates me about the cell is that, fine - she needs a cell for when the kids are at their dad's in case of an emergency while she's out. You can get a landline then, that's around $20, and get a pre-paid cell phone for EMERGENCY use only. You don't need a cell phone, with a data plan, texting plan etc etc etc.

    And to her, a meal is some canned veggies and some mac n' cheese.

    She doesn't live in the same state as me so I am limited to my exposure to this mentatlity. It's something we agree to disagree on at this point and I'm not going to discuss it with her anymore. But I think it's sad. She can afford cigarette's, an expensive cell bll (I know it's over $100 a month), and cable but can't afford fresh veggies or some meat.
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    Ugh! I'm unemployed and living off my savings account and living with my ex in-laws. My phone is a POS and that's okay. It works! I eat healthy and feed my daughter as healthfully as I can.

    Being 'without' is no excuse to spend money on things that are not needed and deny the health of yourself or your children.

    I do not rely on the government for anything...in fact I still donate what I can to different organizations, volunteer, and tithe at church. If I can manage as a single parent without all the extras and relying on the government...so can she.
  • Dtho5159
    Dtho5159 Posts: 1,054 Member
    Yes!! I have one friend who is like this.. Her family has always "struggled" yet they had expensive cell phones and fancy cars. We have tracfones and our cars are paid for (they did have cars that were paid for but wanted bigger and better)

    They both work part time and get SSI for their 2 oldest kids. They also get a ton of food stamps each month, presumably she doesn't report something to the FS office because when we first moved here and had no income, we qualified but when hubby started working, we lost them because between that and our sons SSI, we were over. They have TWO part time jobs and TWO SSI payments each month which total more than we have coming in and still qualify so something isn't right there.

    They are the types that do McDonalds OR if they eat at home, they make hotdogs and fries. They NEVER serve fresh foods or hell even frozen. They also get WIC for their 2 year old and get $6 towards produce each month that comes with WIC so there is NO excuse for it.

    We struggle. My husband works full time and I stay home with our kids. We own both our vehicles and have basics as far as cell phones go. We go out to eat once a week, usually to Taco Bell and spend around $15 for the 4 of us. If we do anything else, we have coupons or gift cards to cut the costs. I do some gpt and ptc sites online and while I don't make a ton, I make enough to have a little extras.

    Im sorry for the rant but this stuff pisses me off and Im glad I live nearly 1000 miles from this "friend" lol
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
    Different people have different priorities. Usually that's because of different life experiences. Why are you judging her so much--and then complaining to strangers? If you're concerned about her, tell *her.* (But you'd probably just come across as judgmental and condescending...which is how you're coming across to me here.)
  • KBrenOH
    KBrenOH Posts: 704 Member
    Different people have different priorities. Usually that's because of different life experiences. Why are you judging her so much--and then complaining to strangers? If you're concerned about her, tell *her.* (But you'd probably just come across as judgmental and condescending...which is how you're coming across to me here.)

    I have "told her" and we have agreed to disagree on the subject. If I'm being judgemental because I believe that providing healthier food for at least the children is the more intelligent thing to do, then so be it. I for one think that is better than making sure to have the "must have" extras.

    And btw - your comment of "Different people have different priorities." If a persons kids arent their first prioritiy as a parent; then I don't think they should have kids.

    Edited for re-wording.
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    Different people have different priorities. Usually that's because of different life experiences. Why are you judging her so much--and then complaining to strangers? If you're concerned about her, tell *her.* (But you'd probably just come across as judgmental and condescending...which is how you're coming across to me here.)

    I have "told her" and we have agreed to disagree on the subject. If I'm being judgemental because I believe that providing healthier food for at least the children is the more intelligent thing to do, then so be it. I for one think that is better than making sure to have the "must have" extras.

    And btw - your comment of "Different people have different priorities." If a persons kids arent their first prioritiy as a parent; then I don't think they should have kids.

    Edited for re-wording.

    I disagree...you're not hostile or even mean IMO. You're expressing your concern. Health is long term where a cell or car has a life of maybe 2-5 years. A child, in this day and age with healthcare should live to easily reach at least 85 years of age. If all you pump into them is junk and no excersize they will have health problems starting in their teens and a continued decline for most of their life unless they learn otherwise.
  • poustotah
    poustotah Posts: 1,121 Member
    I had a friend like that but apparently I'm such a ***** that when they started to gripe about how bad things were I'd just respond politely by saying something like, "if you'd get rid of the cell phone and the cable bill, you wouldn't have to worry so much about it now would you?"

    I was nice about it. :-)
  • k8edge
    k8edge Posts: 380
    This would drive me insane as well...

    I am going to be unemployed in a month. (no unemployment because I was never a "full" time employee). This isn't the first time that I have been unemployed either. Our plan... To cancel cable, cell phone internet (back to flip phone for me!), and I am going to start clipping coupons (again). Why? Because those things are necessities. We don't "need" them... They are luxuries.
  • k8edge
    k8edge Posts: 380
    Yes!! I have one friend who is like this.. Her family has always "struggled" yet they had expensive cell phones and fancy cars. We have tracfones and our cars are paid for (they did have cars that were paid for but wanted bigger and better)

    They both work part time and get SSI for their 2 oldest kids. They also get a ton of food stamps each month, presumably she doesn't report something to the FS office because when we first moved here and had no income, we qualified but when hubby started working, we lost them because between that and our sons SSI, we were over. They have TWO part time jobs and TWO SSI payments each month which total more than we have coming in and still qualify so something isn't right there.

    They are the types that do McDonalds OR if they eat at home, they make hotdogs and fries. They NEVER serve fresh foods or hell even frozen. They also get WIC for their 2 year old and get $6 towards produce each month that comes with WIC so there is NO excuse for it.

    We struggle. My husband works full time and I stay home with our kids. We own both our vehicles and have basics as far as cell phones go. We go out to eat once a week, usually to Taco Bell and spend around $15 for the 4 of us. If we do anything else, we have coupons or gift cards to cut the costs. I do some gpt and ptc sites online and while I don't make a ton, I make enough to have a little extras.

    Im sorry for the rant but this stuff pisses me off and Im glad I live nearly 1000 miles from this "friend" lol

    My brother and sister-in-law use WIC for their children. They struggle... I am shocked that they only allot $6.00 a month to fresh produce. I would think that things like milk, veggies, fruit, meat, cereal, etc... are the number one priority. I am not an expert with the system but more should be put into putting healthy foods into children's mouths not junk.
  • audram420
    audram420 Posts: 838 Member
    I get angry when people get upset that my husband I aren't planning on having any more children. We have 1 son who is 2 and they keep asking me when we are going to have another and I politely say that we aren't planning anymore as of right now. Then they get all pissy and say that we are selfish not to give our son a sibling.

    But on the other hand you have someone at my work who lives on one income...their wife doesn't work by choice and he only works 3 days one week and 1 day another...which leaves one of the two able to get another job if they need to but they don't. They both complain constantly about money problems and they won't participate in other couple activities because they have no money but they complain when they don't get invited...etc. These people are trying to have more children....

    It's none of my business how many kids anyone wants or has, but I would like people to respect ME when I make a choice that seems RIGHT for my situation!!
  • etaven
    etaven Posts: 25
    I hear you!

    It's definitely cheaper to buy & cook your own food, especially if you look for sales & coupons. The other day I went grocery shopping and the ONLY thing I bought that wasn't on sale or discounted was milk! Spent around $55, and I probably won't have to go for another month at least except for fresh veggies- and the stuff I got is healthy and I can keep track of what I make.

    It's a matter of responsibility, and yeah, there are a lot of people who just don't want to bother with the "effort" that takes!
  • Cherrycandy
    Cherrycandy Posts: 200
    I know EXACTLY what you mean. I know a few like that too and I always think its priceless when they sit and whine about not having any money or anything,or jealous of what you have and I wanna say...HELLO!!!! Get up off your a** and get a job and stop blowing your money retard!
  • It is a problem here in the UK as well. And I do get annoyed as I work full time and seem to be supporting lifestyles which include provision for cable, cell phones etc which I don't have. When times have been tough for us we've been resourceful, letting out a room in the house, selling stuff on ebay etc
    I agree, it is actually cheaper to cook your own food from scratch and it one is unemployed then preumably there is the time as well.....
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    I'm from the UK, and times can be hard especially when you have a child/children! Everyone goes through hard times at some point. But I have to say, even now, I've going without certain things I class as LUXURIES, just because I can't afford them. It's more important to feed and look after my child than it is to get something like SKY, just because I want to watch TV. Go without, I am!

    Well....All I can say is when you have children, it's all about sacrificing the things you want etc to make a better life for your children. They come FIRST above anything or anyone else.

    That means, providing a stable, loving environment, and meeting their EVERY need, REGARDLESS of your own needs / desires or even how low an income your on. There is ALWAYS a way! No excuses!

    Yes, it's hard, but if you don't try, you're not gonna get anywhere fast. If, anything, it'll carry on or get worse.

    Nuff Said.
  • JoceyyySmall
    JoceyyySmall Posts: 155 Member
    Yes!! I have one friend who is like this.. Her family has always "struggled" yet they had expensive cell phones and fancy cars. We have tracfones and our cars are paid for (they did have cars that were paid for but wanted bigger and better)

    They both work part time and get SSI for their 2 oldest kids. They also get a ton of food stamps each month, presumably she doesn't report something to the FS office because when we first moved here and had no income, we qualified but when hubby started working, we lost them because between that and our sons SSI, we were over. They have TWO part time jobs and TWO SSI payments each month which total more than we have coming in and still qualify so something isn't right there.

    They are the types that do McDonalds OR if they eat at home, they make hotdogs and fries. They NEVER serve fresh foods or hell even frozen. They also get WIC for their 2 year old and get $6 towards produce each month that comes with WIC so there is NO excuse for it.

    We struggle. My husband works full time and I stay home with our kids. We own both our vehicles and have basics as far as cell phones go. We go out to eat once a week, usually to Taco Bell and spend around $15 for the 4 of us. If we do anything else, we have coupons or gift cards to cut the costs. I do some gpt and ptc sites online and while I don't make a ton, I make enough to have a little extras.

    Im sorry for the rant but this stuff pisses me off and Im glad I live nearly 1000 miles from this "friend" lol

    My brother and sister-in-law use WIC for their children. They struggle... I am shocked that they only allot $6.00 a month to fresh produce. I would think that things like milk, veggies, fruit, meat, cereal, etc... are the number one priority. I am not an expert with the system but more should be put into putting healthy foods into children's mouths not junk.

    6 dollars is definitely nowhere near enough especially depending on how many people are in the house using this 6 dollars. I mean at least they're getting something, but I spend more than 6 dollars A WEEK on stuff that is fresh. I agree they should be putting more into it, i know someone who is using wic, but some of the stuff that comes is specific like what brand, etc. Crazy. It has evolved over time though.
  • maria1113
    maria1113 Posts: 508 Member
    I actually have friend like that. Sure, she doesn't have kids or husband, but still she kept on spending money here and there, new phones, ridiculous contracts, new laptops, clothes, eating junk food etc. and kept on whining that she didn't have any money. After few years she realized what I was trying to tell her when she got sick and had to rethink her life. I'm sad that she got sick, but glad that something good came out of it :)

    But yeah, my point was that I feel you!
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