Starting over...

It's been a while.

A few years ago, I lost over 50lbs (That's my before and after Insanity photo in my profile. Damn I was so proud of myself).

A couple of years ago, I gained a new baby, a new hubby and all of that weight nack... and found myself right back where I started.

Four months ago, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, and here I am. 31 years old, scared to death that this disease will steal away my ability to walk, and determined as hell to not let it. I am nowhere near where I want to be. Several years ago, I finished Insanity. At the end of my 60 days, I could make it through a workout with Shawn T and keep up. The day after I was diagnosed, I tried to do the Fit test and couldn't make it through. I was numb all over, and spent the next few days wallowing in self pity. Since January 26th, I've spent countless hours trying to find a workout that I can do without feeling like a failure. I have lost 31lbs since then. A week ago I started insanity max 30. It's hard. I cry almost daily because I can't make it through a work out like I once could. I have no balance. I get tired and frustrated. But I'm trying.

When I was diagnosed, one of the first things that went through my head was, as crazy as it sounds.... "If I end up in a wheelchair, my husband couldn't lift me up." As sad as it sounds, that was my motivation to lose weight. Since then, I have decided this disease won't beat me. I will beat it. I will over come. I will win.

It's good to be back.