Girls in Sports

jlewis2896
jlewis2896 Posts: 763 Member
edited September 2024 in Chit-Chat
Travelling, I happened to overhear a group of men discussing the athleticism of their daughters. I found this super interesting and just thought I would share!

The men were talking about how their daughters would only try out for sports that their friends were into, or how they would never work as hard as they could -- they treated the sports as more of a social group outlet instead of a personal fitness test. These men were also traveling football coaches, so they were comparing the football boys to their daughters. The difference in work ethic and trying to set oneself apart from the rest seemed to be pretty intense.

This got me thinking -- it was true for me in high school, and true for many of my friends. I was active in high school, until I discovered, ummm.... 'other' activities.... but I never ever worked as hard as I do now, and I never pushed myself to my full potential.

I have a daughter, and it's such a slippery slope as a parent -- when to push and when not to push, but I hope that I can somehow instill a strong work ethic and sense of personal accomplishment in her.

I know about a decade ago the concern was how hard girls would work in math and science as compared to boys. Girls seem to be all about SIR -- Smooth Interpersonal Relationships, and excelling creates more tension amongst relationships.

I realize I am making a lot of generalizations here, but statistically speaking, I think the majority of girls fall under this category. It'll be interesting to see how I handle my own daughter. She's only 3 now, so I've got some time to scheme!! :)

Hopefully my rambling did not offend anyone!! I'd be interested to see what you think.

Replies

  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I think there is much more of a stigma attached to being a female athlete these days than there used to be. I used to work for a company that helped kids work toward getting athletic scholarships to play sports in college (the kids who needed a little help getting noticed), and what we often found with the female athletes was that it was really the parents who were pushing them to play in college and that the girls didn't really want to because they were worried about how they would be perceived. But I think everything is more social for girls than for boys. Males are much more task-oriented than females.

    I don't have kids yet, but I was blessed with parents who, for the most part, encouraged me in whatever I wanted to do, so I can say from experience that the two most important things are:

    1. Help your kids figure out whatever it is that they are passionate about, and then be there every step of the way to encourage them to do it to the best of their ability. Some kids naturally gravitate toward a certain activity that suits them; other kids have trouble finding their niche, and you may have to push them to try certain things to see what does and doesn't work for them. But if they decide they don't like something, don't make them do it just because it's what you want; you will totally screw up your relationship with your kid if you do this. Same goes for NOT letting them do something they love unless you have a very, very, very good reason for it. Sometimes, you have to be the parent and put your foot down, but make sure it's really in the kid's best interest and that you're not being unreasonable.

    2. Don't let them quit. If they want to try out for basketball and then decide after a month on the team that they hate basketball, well, lesson learned, and they can just not try out for basketball next year. But don't let them quit in the middle of the season. If you let them do it once, you're making a quitter out of them for life. This is part of your job as a parent to teach your kids to honor their word and their commitments.
  • dinkybird
    dinkybird Posts: 21 Member
    Interesting? Well, I can't relate to you on the raising a girl part? But I do have 3 boys (16,13,10) and they are all competitive in their own way. They have all played every sport. But I do know that if they like a particular sport, they will try harder in that sport. Plus 2 out of 3 of my boys are very competitive with each other at home. My oldest can care less what others think or do. I really think the competitiveness comes from within the individual. I'm very competitive! And I know this about myself. :-) But my middle son who is 13, is competitive in everything!!! School, sports, at home. :-) So i'm not sure & I'm just rumbling off too. :-) Your daughter is still very young, and she still has a lot of emotional changes to go through. Good luck! :-)
  • jlewis2896
    jlewis2896 Posts: 763 Member
    1. Help your kids figure out whatever it is that they are passionate about, and then be there every step of the way to encourage them to do it to the best of their ability.

    I love this! I also have a 12 year old boy who is very into soccer and a 9 year old boy who is very into video games and legos. :)

    I was really proud last night because my oldest has been practicing soccer in the off-season with a group of boys ranging in age from 12 - 18. Last night he showed up at the field and was the youngest kid there -- everyone else was 16 or 17. I could tell he was intimidated and ready to back down, so I told him that if he wanted to go, he could leave, but he had been getting some really good feedback from the older boys so it might be a good time to try and play up on his defense. He gritted his teeth and practiced.

    And my middle one, we just don't push. We ask him if he wants to try things, and sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. Everything just seems so much easier with boys!!

    Dinkybird -- I agree with you, there's such an internal source of competition and it varies from person to person. :)
  • MissFit0101
    MissFit0101 Posts: 2,382
    When I was only in elementary school, my P.E. teacher start talking to me about joining track when I got to middle school because I would do well. I got to middle school and tried out for track and cross country. I was decent to start with but I wanted to be the best so I pushed harder, and I did become the best. I broke many records in my time of running both track and cross country in middle school. Then came high school. It changed completely. I half gave it any effort at all my freshman year, then, I didn't return after that. I was too worried about other things. It was such a huge mistake. Anyways, I get where you're coming from. I think many girls do fall into that category. I hope that will someday change. I think you are setting an absolutely amazing example for your daughter though. You inspire me, and I have never met you... so I can only imagine the ways you inspire your daughter.
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