Could really use some advice.

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TMReiner817_wechanged
TMReiner817_wechanged Posts: 4
in Introduce Yourself
I've been a stay at home mother pretty much the entire 20 months of my little girls life. There was a short 3 month period where I went back to work for 3 days a week until I became laid off. It has been a full year pretty much that I have been home since.

Today I was offered my job back for either full or part time. 1 this job would occasionally depress me. I constantly worked in the "elements". Pretty much temperature wise seeing as though it wa a warehouse. It was either freezing or sweltering.

If I were to go back I'd have to put my 20 month old in day care which just that in itself makes me intensly sad. I'd only be getting paid like 13 an hour.

Is it worth going back and not having my time with my little girl or just stay home the way things are and go back to work whe. She gets in school which was the original plan?

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  • LindseyDD
    LindseyDD Posts: 160 Member
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    with the economy that way it is I know I would take a job if I was offered, I dont have children, but having the extra income in case something happens is always a good idea. I would totally go back to work!
  • norcalrv
    norcalrv Posts: 20 Member
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    No deal on the job, stay home with your 20 month old. They are only young for a short time and if you miss that you can never get it back. My wife stayed home with our kids and I worked and traveled for business. Would not have done it anyother way.
  • SimplyDeLish
    SimplyDeLish Posts: 539
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    At $13 an hour it almost won't pay enough to justify the job after you subtract day care costs. You don't say if you are married, but if you are or have a partner that can support the family financially - I'd say follow your plan and stay home until she goes to school. This is a decision that only you can make. Do what feels best for you!
  • yankeefamily05
    yankeefamily05 Posts: 657
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    Its really up to you. I was in a similiar situation. I weighed my financial options.

    1.) Go to work. Pay for daycare, gas and any other work expense- when I put this on paper I was actually -200 dollars!!!!

    2.) Stay home- Be frugal, cut coupons, cut out unneccessary expenses- I was actually +300, but NOT working!!!!

    I highly suggest doing the same. I know day care and gas are BOTH expensive.
  • AHealthierRhonda
    AHealthierRhonda Posts: 881 Member
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    Being a home daycare provider myself, I now how much parents struggle with this very question. Ask yourself, do you need the money? If you have to pay daycare how much are you really going to bring home once that, taxes,... are taken out? Personally, I feel if any parent can stay home with their child and take them to social things (library, playgroups, play dates,...) that is the best option.
    If you a e asking this question, I think you may already know your own answer!!!! Follow your gut instinct!
  • pelleld
    pelleld Posts: 363 Member
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    It doesn't sound as if this is your dream job.....it sounds as if you'd not enjoy the work and miss your daughter. But can your finances handle you continuing to stay at home? Only you know what would work best for you and your family. Listen to your gut!
  • feistyattitude
    feistyattitude Posts: 21
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    It sounds like you have already decided in your heart that it is not worth it for you to go back. I think this is a decision ONLY you can make, and no one else should be making for you. You have to balance you answer between heart and head. What is going to be the best option for you and your little one?
  • jessik980
    jessik980 Posts: 30 Member
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    I would definitely stay home with my child. I have a 4 month old and have to return to work in a few weeks. I would love to stay home with her if given the opportunity. Enjoy the time you have with your child because they grow up way to fast!!
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    HAHAHA. ONLY $13 an hour??? I can't find a job that pays more than $8.25. TAKE it. Ask if you can work part time and you'll still be able to stay with your little girl 'til she's in school full time and you won't see her at all.
  • stephanieharmon
    stephanieharmon Posts: 19 Member
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    totally agree with the above post .. you need to put income and expenses current on a paper ... then your income and expenses that you will incur .. daycare, meals (if eating out at work), gas, etc and weigh the options. Sometimes you "need" to work and sometimes you work for 100.00 a month :( You can always cut expenses like using coupons and stuff like that if you are borderline :) Good luck !!!!
  • angiemartin78
    angiemartin78 Posts: 475 Member
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    That's something you would have to think long and hard about. I drove a school bus when my daughter was little so she was with me all of the time. When she started school, and after the birth of my second child, I went back to work in an office and love it...But I now have a 3 yr old that I have to put into daycare and it still breaks my heart to leave him. I personally would rather stay home with my children, but I also know that the little break that we have really makes seeing him at the end of a long hard day so much better.

    I hope you can find the answer you're looking for and good luck!
  • bkw2488
    bkw2488 Posts: 190 Member
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    If you can stay home and have partner that can support the family and your income is not needed. Stay home :o) I have six kids and work full time and would give anything if I could go part time. I miss them sooooo much when I am at work!!!!
  • Victoriareid35
    Victoriareid35 Posts: 1
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    Hello, personnaly from reading what you say I would go back to work part time, it would give some cash, Ok so not a lot, but it would get you out the house - and doing something other than being a mother which you will be for ever. However you are also you and that is important, one day your daughter will have gorwn up and left home, and you are still going to be you - keep your hand in at work. You need to look at day care from another angle. Think of it at social interaction for your daughter. Eveyone needs to learn how to meet people and interact socially, the younger the better. She may not like it but trust me the toys at day care are always way more exciting than what you have at home!! It also means that when she goes to school it won't be the shock to the system it would have been had she never had the experience.

    And as for work, well everyones job depresses them occasionally, its life it has its good bits and its not so good bits. But having depression and getting out there and doing something as well as being a mother can only be a good thing. I would say give it six months, and if its working for you and your daughter then stick at it, remember the job might not be there when she goes to school, also its always way easier to look for a new job when already have one.
  • Benji49
    Benji49 Posts: 419 Member
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    Your decision totally.

    I didn't have a choice when my 2 were babies I had to go the day care route. But I found the world's best daycare with a truly committed and dedicated owner and staff and I was able to go to work knowing that my boys were safe and happy. If you have to do this then make sure you research the daycare, go in and observe for a few days if they will allow it - and if they won't WHY NOT? Get references.

    My boys didn't suffer, in fact my oldest has grown up with friends that have been his best friends since they were 6 months old - now almost 20. And, at the end of the day my husband and I both committed to making family time really count. When we spend time with our boys its family time.

    Your daughter will be fine which ever route you decide to take - as long as she has you to watch her back and help her grow.
  • daylitemag
    daylitemag Posts: 604 Member
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    I agree with the posters who are saying stay home if you can afford it. Once you add up ALL of the expenses relating to going to work (eating out more often b/c you aren't home to cook for the family, clothing that you otherwise wouldn't have bought, second car or gas, bus fare, etc) you will probably find that it just isn't worth it. If you need some extra income try to think of something you can do from home, or get a part-time job that you can go to when your husband/partner is at home with the baby. You will never regret the decision to spend more time with your child, but from the sounds of it you may very well resent the time you spend at this job.
  • TMReiner817_wechanged
    TMReiner817_wechanged Posts: 4
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    You guys are absolutely awesome with your input and I appreciate every bit of it.

    I am married and my husband is an underwriter at CHUBB Insurance. He does pretty well on his own and we have a little "cushion" saved as well. Of course we don't want that to completely diminish.

    In my heart I know I don't want to go back. My husband doesn't know I've been offered the job back. As much as he says he loves that I'm the one that gets to stay with our daughter I'm worried he will tell me to go back.

    I was told that my job was a a available for whenever I wanted. Meaning years from now they would welcome me back if I wanted. I hate important decisions. I can't e en decide on the simple ones the majority of the time.

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