Worried about what I am teaching my daughter
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I don't understand why people think using a food scale is 'distorted'? It's a tool that measures/allows accuracy. It's like my husband using a level or tape measure for his job and me thinking it's distorted. It makes no sense. Op-tell your husband to throw away all his tools and then you'll ditch your food scale
As for your child-I have 3 kids and one of the most important things I can teach them is how CICO works. If my mom had taught me that, maybe I wouldn't have ended up overweight and a pre-diabetic. I have my food scale out on our counter at all times, (next to the toaster and coffee pot), and my kids see me use it, just like they see me use measuring spoons and cups when I make a recipe. These things are useful tools and when my kids are a bit older they'll learn how to use a food scale, just like they're already learning how to use measuring cups and spoons when we bake together. I've also already taught my older two how to read a nutrition label and we've had discussions about food choices and having balanced meals etc.
Maybe if more kids were taught these basics, there wouldn't be such a big obesity epidemic in adults.5 -
I think the weighing ingredients for a recipe is a good tactic and just normalises the scale as just a functional kitchen tool no different to a pan, I also think if you keep your language focused on I'm cooking to be healthy, rather than to be a certain weight that should be fine. I think it's okay to teach your kids about making nutritious choices and being active, just concentrate your language about the good it does their insides rather than their outsides. No different to brushing your teeth.
By the sounds of it you seem to be doing a pretty good job anyway, you don't deny treats and as long as you're mindful not to relate food to physical appearance I can't see their being too much of a problem. x0 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »I think it's a great way to introduce your kid to healthy eating at a young age. Explain what you're doing (measuring your food), explain why (to keep a healthy weight), explain that adults do this because they're not as energetic as kids. This can tie in wonderfully to discussions of picking good food choices (like how Sesame Street calls sweets a "sometimes food").
Measuring food and portion control is what this site is all about. You are maintaining a healthy weight, why would that be bad? I honestly wish my mom had known about/taught me all of this when I was little. I've been overweight most of my life because calories in/calories out was never discussed in my house growing up.
Measuring food is not the only way to be in a healthy weight. It's the easiest way for people that can't do it any other way. Yet there's plenty of people in the world that maintain healthy weight without counting anything.
Unless you almost completely cut out all of the easy calorie dense junk foods that are available everywhere here (that weren't in the past and may not be in other parts of the world) and always say no at parties, potlucks, etc - that can be pretty hard to do. - which might be seen as more disordered than just counting calories.0 -
As a grown up daughter of a wonderful mom who always thought she was fat or was always watching her weight (a trait which I inherited)...I suggest you explain it in a way that doesn't mention weight at all. Keep healthier foods in the house and explain it in terms of health, energy, fuel for a workout, etc. Or maybe that you're weighing your food because you want to make sure you leave room in your tummy to have snacks or dessert later.
My nephew is a little over 2.5 and he mimics everything you do. If his dad doesn't eat vegetables, he won't eat them. If he sees mom eating sushi, then he'll try it, too. When I visit, we have bananas and eggs for breakfast because they give you energy so you can play outside and get muscles (then we flex our muscles). He also knows I run a lot, so I'll tell him I have to eat XYZ so I can go running. He's kind of young to actually understand fat/skinny/healthy, but he does seem to understand you need to eat your veggies/fruits to be able to play outside and get stronger. Maybe that's one way to "sell" the healthy eating to your daughter, make it about fun and playing and flexing your muscles (even if you don't have big ones, at that age they don't notice or care).
Someone mentioned above that measuring cups for cooking are fine, so scales should be, too. I agree! My friend has a 4 year old daughter who likes to help her cook. They eat super healthy and clean, and her daughter loves to help "chop" veggies, stir stuff, measure ingredients! They make it fun with different colors of carrots, cauliflower, etc, and her daughter gets to help pick ingredients. When they make a recipe, they talk about making sure everyone gets enough to eat, so they'll need 3 cups of X and 2 cups of Y. If you cook, maybe having her help in the kitchen would let her see that scales/cups are just a regular part of cooking. Even just watching you measure ingredients for a recipe would help her see the scale as a cooking tool instead of a weight management tool.
You say you're pretty rigid about maintaining your weight (which isn't necessarily a bad thing)... but maybe you talk about weight more than you realize? Maybe he's worried that focus will rub off and it's not just about the weighing of food? I mean, maybe it's not just the actual weighing of food but the whole view on weight/eating that he's thinking of and he just pointed out the scale as an example. Maybe not, just something to think about (I think sometimes we all talk about eating/dieting/exercise more than we think we do).6 -
Thanks for all the great advice! My husband and I just have two totally different views of eating. He has always been able to eat what he wants, how much of it, and has never had to worry about weight gain. He is lucky in that sense. It has always been a struggle for me, so sometimes he doesn't quite get that for me to maintain this is what works for me. Bless his heart, I know he just doesn't want our daughter to have to go through what I did. I really agree with the concept of relating measuring to using a recipe as well as the older we get we have to watch our weight a little bit more.1
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There's a lot going on here, but I'll also put out this: what you say to your kids are far less important than the behavior and attitude you DO.6
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First your situation is 'different' than mine because your daughter is young and did not know you when you were overweight.
I have teen girls, 15 & 17. Both healthy weight for their height, though one is on the low end and one on the high end of that range. I was overweight from the time the 17 year old was born until 2014 when I reached a 'healthy weight' for the first time in over a decade. I've discussed my journey with them, pointing out that I had unhealthy habits before (inactive and eating more food than my body needed) and as a result had to work to lose the weight. And that I still track my intake to make sure I get what I need now. I do estimate/approximate more now than when I was losing though I still use the food scale on pretty much a daily basis.
My advice is to discuss food, etc. in an age appropriate way. Encourage your daughter to play and be active. Encourage her to eat a variety of food, to try new things. Never make an effort to limit the amount of food she eats unless there comes a point where her weight is a concern to the point of her pediatrician saying so. And let her know - again age appropriately - that you pay attention to what you eat so you can make sure you get enough nutrition, fuel your body for what it needs.
Both of my girls are a tad bit over 5' tall, one is about 100 and the other about 120. I worry about them. Not so much because of my example but because the world we live in, and how harsh it is on body image. I have a wifi smart scale, for my own use. In my device history, I see if someone else weighs in as it shows 'guest' and a weight. Which means when they check their weight from time to time, I call tell which one did because of hte #. So I'll also know if they seem to obsess over it (weighing constantly) or if it starts to change. I like that.0 -
kenyonhaff wrote: »There's a lot going on here, but I'll also put out this: what you say to your kids are far less important than the behavior and attitude you DO.
Yes to this. My mother suffered from eating disorders growing up and without too many details, it was how she interacted regarding body image, food, and nutrition that impacted me and my siblings the most. All of us struggle with our body image/weight/health into adulthood and it has been hard. I don't even have but a few pictures of my mother because she refused to be in pictures because she hates seeing herself. Actions really can speak louder than words.
Love yourself and your body and your daughter will know. There is a lot of good advice on this thread as well regarding how to talk about nutrition and measuring. Good luck, OP.
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Has he suggested that you remove the fuel gauge and speedometer from the car so that the kid doesn't learn any bad habits when she's ready to start driving?11
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heiliskrimsli wrote: »Has he suggested that you remove the fuel gauge and speedometer from the car so that the kid doesn't learn any bad habits when she's ready to start driving?
We need to start a 'drive intuitively' craze!5 -
My wife and I weigh and measure some things...my kid has asked why before and I show him the recipe and that it calls for X cups of this or Y grams of that so I need to weigh or measure it out...or I'm making him his oatmeal and I tell him I have to know how many cups of oat so that I know how much water to use, etc...I think measuring and weighing is pretty common where the culinary arts are concerned...0
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heiliskrimsli wrote: »Has he suggested that you remove the fuel gauge and speedometer from the car so that the kid doesn't learn any bad habits when she's ready to start driving?
Would you explain to your 3yo why you are taking a birth control pill?
I believe there's an age for everything. And making a big deal about weighing and calories when the child is too young doesn't do any good. You have better chances just by leading my example and putting healthy foods in their table.
As the child gets older I think you need to start preparing him/her about making good food choices on their own, which by then shouldn't be an issue if you have been consistent the whole time.
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cwolfman13 wrote: »My wife and I weigh and measure some things...my kid has asked why before and I show him the recipe and that it calls for X cups of this or Y grams of that so I need to weigh or measure it out...or I'm making him his oatmeal and I tell him I have to know how many cups of oat so that I know how much water to use, etc...I think measuring and weighing is pretty common where the culinary arts are concerned...
Cooking world yes.
But weighing everything you put in your mouth is not.1 -
I relate so much to your post. I'm also in recovery for bulimia and am very concerned about the behavior I model for my teenage step daughter and son. My son is autistic and already struggles with food issues around smell and texture.
What I try to do is explain to them I am trying to make sure my body gets what it needs to stay healthy and avoid making it about weight.0 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »heiliskrimsli wrote: »Has he suggested that you remove the fuel gauge and speedometer from the car so that the kid doesn't learn any bad habits when she's ready to start driving?
Would you explain to your 3yo why you are taking a birth control pill?
I believe there's an age for everything. And making a big deal about weighing and calories when the child is too young doesn't do any good. You have better chances just by leading my example and putting healthy foods in their table.
As the child gets older I think you need to start preparing him/her about making good food choices on their own, which by then shouldn't be an issue if you have been consistent the whole time.
Since when is them merely seeing you do it "making a big deal" of it?6 -
I think about this as well. I have an almost 2 yr old daughter and I want her to have a healthier body image than I did/do. I grew up taking ballet (seriously, pre-professional studio) and watching a mother who thought being a normal weight for her height was being fat. Between my dance teacher and my mom, I consistently heard messages that you were always eating too much and that it was normal to hate your body. I try to be more mindful of how I talk about my body in front of my daughter, because she's in a repeating everything stage. I don't think weighing food is an abnormal or disordered behavior as long as it isn't presented as a punishment (mommy has to weigh her food because she gets too fat when she doesn't). I'd be more concerned with how you talk about yourself and your body around your kids, because they do pick up a lot.3
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I think part it is conveying that being overweight isn't The Worst Possible Thing. You don't want a kid feeling they will be worthless or unloved if they get overweight.
It seems like a lot of eating disorders start when kids are in their tweens or teens; kids' bodies can go through some very weird proportions during puberty, and you don't want a kid thinking "I must be fat" because they don't look like a model in a fashion magazine or have a thigh gap. (I watched America's Top Model once and they had a plus-size model as a competitor . . . She was a size 8! Most of the girls had toothpick legs, and all I could think was "why are we choosing these people to model our clothes.") So talking to them about how the girls in the latest teen magazine are not representative of what all girls do, or should, look like--how there are perfectly healthy and strong girls who don't look like that--would be a positive step.5 -
heiliskrimsli wrote: »Has he suggested that you remove the fuel gauge and speedometer from the car so that the kid doesn't learn any bad habits when she's ready to start driving?StaciMarie1974 wrote: »We need to start a 'drive intuitively' craze!
I'm always over the speed limit when I 'drive intuitively'!
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »I think it's a great way to introduce your kid to healthy eating at a young age. Explain what you're doing (measuring your food), explain why (to keep a healthy weight), explain that adults do this because they're not as energetic as kids. This can tie in wonderfully to discussions of picking good food choices (like how Sesame Street calls sweets a "sometimes food").
Measuring food and portion control is what this site is all about. You are maintaining a healthy weight, why would that be bad? I honestly wish my mom had known about/taught me all of this when I was little. I've been overweight most of my life because calories in/calories out was never discussed in my house growing up.
Measuring food is not the only way to be in a healthy weight. It's the easiest way for people that can't do it any other way. Yet there's plenty of people in the world that maintain healthy weight without counting anything.
Sure, when I was in the wilds of Costa Rica and had no access to hyperpalatable foods I lost weight effortlessly. Literally effortlessly - I wasn't even trying to lose weight and didn't even own a scale at that time.
Now that I am back in civilization, have a desk job, and an OH who likes to eat higher calorie foods than I do, it takes a lot more effort.2 -
I think if you treat it like no big deal around your child (and it sounds like you have that down - especially by not worrying about it at restaurants
) it'll be fine. I think similiarly to you - I feel that my logging is the only way I can maintain my weight. I often long to go back a few years to where I could intuitively eat and not worry. Maybe I still could, and I'm young so I feel like I should, but my disordered eating gets the best of me most days. I think logging is okay and as long as it doesn't take over your life or consume too much of your time it's fine. I try to log as quickly as possible and once I log I don't worry about what I ate anymore. It has really helped me, and if it's helping you, keep doing it. 0
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