Things I've learned my first week

So, I joined myfitnesspal one week ago today and although I knew I would encounter some challenges, I wasn't prepared for how difficult this would be and for what I would learn. I've been using this week to try my absolute best, but be forgiving of my short comings while trying to learn things about my eating habits.

First off, my biggest problem is binge eating. I've had this problem ever since I can remember, and it was always something I went to no matter how I was feeling; happy, sad, alone, bored, worried, and anything else. So actually having to sit with those feelings this week has been really, really hard.

But anyway, here's what I've realized:

1. As hard as it is to not binge and overeat until extremely fullness, I've found that going to bed after a successful day/night of not giving into my urges feels 50000000 times better than he feeling I get when I do binge eat.
2. The feeling I get when I don't give in to the urge to overeat feels a lot like the control I would get from overeating. Meaning, overeating would make me feel in control when I wasn't in control of anything else because at least them I was in control of how much I was eating and how it made me feel. So, the control I get from not giving in feels similar, but way better.
3. Trying to defeat someone who is 100% against you is hard, especially when that someone is yourself. It's really weird at one moment saying to myself, "I dont need to eat, I ate enough today and I can wait until tomorrow morning" and the next moment saying, "But tomorrow is a new day, is I just eat xyz tonight then I'll get it out of system and tomorrow will be a fresh, easier day." And I believe both statements right after each other. So while I'm telling myself while binging is okay, I need to make a strong effort to tell myself that it's not okay, and it's really conflicting.
4. My boyfriend is my downfall! I love my boyfriend to death, but he is so thin and he works is a really physical job where he can eat whatever he wants whenever he wants and does so. When I'm alone (which I was all week) I controlled myself and felt great. Then, with my boyfriend this weekend, I've eaten ice cream and fast food probably 4 times, and I have such a HARD time saying no. I know I need to control myself, but I've realized just being around him makes things more challenging.
5. I didnt realize how deeply sad I was with my size. I told myself well, I dont care what anyone thinks. But I realize *I* don't like the way I look, and it's really getting me down while also motivating me to keep trying to eat well.
6. I can do well all day, but at night, kids in bed, sitting alone, that's when saying no becomes way harder.

So basically, that's what I've learned this week and now I kind of know what I need to work on. I had 5 really good days, 2 really bad ones and tomorrow I guess I'll take everything I learned and try to do better.

What's everyone else learned about themselves so far?

Replies

  • The5thGoldenGirl
    The5thGoldenGirl Posts: 12 Member
    nowine4me wrote: »
    I've been at this for 16 months and will share 2 pieces of advice as I completely understand the urge to binge. 1) really, keep the foods you are most likely to binge on out of your home. It way harder to rack up a few thousand calories on yogurt, fruit and vegetables. And 2), if there are specific fast food restaurants you frequent, study the menus and have a set plan for each. Do not stray. Better yet, cook for the two of you at home and explore some fun recipies together. Stay strong.

    I'll really take those suggestions to heart, thanks for your reply. Right now I have chips etc in the house for my boyfriend to bring to work but maybe those are things he can just keep in his car? I'll talk to him about it more and see if he can get on board. Excited for a new day tomorrow :)
  • glassofroses
    glassofroses Posts: 653 Member
    nowine4me wrote: »
    I've been at this for 16 months and will share 2 pieces of advice as I completely understand the urge to binge. 1) really, keep the foods you are most likely to binge on out of your home. It way harder to rack up a few thousand calories on yogurt, fruit and vegetables. And 2), if there are specific fast food restaurants you frequent, study the menus and have a set plan for each. Do not stray. Better yet, cook for the two of you at home and explore some fun recipies together. Stay strong.

    I second this. Buy a easy to cook cookbook and work your way through the recipes, maybe you cook one night and then have a planned outing the next night so it's the best of both worlds. Saying no to everything is exhausting so if you're prepared you won't be caught out.
  • The5thGoldenGirl
    The5thGoldenGirl Posts: 12 Member
    nowine4me wrote: »
    I've been at this for 16 months and will share 2 pieces of advice as I completely understand the urge to binge. 1) really, keep the foods you are most likely to binge on out of your home. It way harder to rack up a few thousand calories on yogurt, fruit and vegetables. And 2), if there are specific fast food restaurants you frequent, study the menus and have a set plan for each. Do not stray. Better yet, cook for the two of you at home and explore some fun recipies together. Stay strong.

    I second this. Buy a easy to cook cookbook and work your way through the recipes, maybe you cook one night and then have a planned outing the next night so it's the best of both worlds. Saying no to everything is exhausting so if you're prepared you won't be caught out.

    I think that's a really good idea. I think if Im working my way through a cookbook it would be exciting to see what Im going to make the next day and maybe Id be less inclined to eat out? Thanks for the idea, I bet I can find one on the kindle
  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,319 Member
    I've been with MFP for a little over 4 years and as life goes it is a never ending learning experience. I used to plan out my snacks as well as my meals - I have become very lazy with this and it shows. I love to prepare my own meals but once I stray it is hard to get back on track. Having an eating/snacking schedule worked to help me with binge eating because you train yourself to eat as scheduled and eat what has been planned and learn how to not eat so much on sight. . . not keeping food on the kitchen table or counter, out of sight out of mind. For me even fruit, because once I tell myself I don't want that apple, let's see what's in the fridge it could be all over :)

    Keep noting the things you learn along this journey!!!!
  • eileenbednarz
    eileenbednarz Posts: 6 Member
    I have been at this for 3 months now and down 22 pounds. I stick with a 1200 calorie goal per day (some days I do go over but usually within 100 calories) and I try to work out 3-4 times a week even if it is a brisk walk for 60 minutes. I don't weigh myself every week. I get frustrated and give up if I don't see the results so now only do it once a month and this way it feels good to see the scale drop at least four to six pounds a month. If I go to a restaurant I always view the menu first at home and get an idea of calorie intake and this way you have the mindset to make healthy choices. I avoid alcohol Monday through Thursday and cut out all soda and only drink water with lemon packets or flavored seltzer. I stick with a high protein low carb diet but do throw in some yummy desserts like WW Lemon Bars or Fiber One Brownies so I feel like I cheating even though I am not really. My vice is Pizza and I haven't had it since 2/1 but I did do a Lean Cuisine Margerita Flat Bread Pizza which tasted pretty good and tackled my craving. If you teach yourself to eat five small meals every 2 hours you won't feel the need to binge eat and will feel full. I also do the 310 Protein Shakes from time to time instead of a meal or a snack and they fill you up. The most important thing is keep a positive attitude and remember it's a journey and it doesn't happen overnight. I don't care if it takes me a year to get down to 130 I am determined to stay the course!
  • Sunna_W
    Sunna_W Posts: 744 Member
    Awesome observations! Know thyself first!

    Also, look at some restaurants that have the foods that your boyfriend likes that ALSO have things that are nutritionally good for you as well. Make a change up for one of those instead of the places you normally go to.

    Chains like TGI Fridays, Ruby Tuesdays, and others like it have similar meals to McD's and are similarly priced during the lunch hour.

    For pizza places ask for a thin crust (personal pizza) with half as much cheese and more veggies and no meat - and blot the grease.

    For one of those meals you go out (to make up for going to a higher quality place) - maybe get some good quality smoked turkey and cheese and lovely baguettes or rolls and make an eat in version. There are baked chips out there that are pretty good as well... have a picnic in the living room...:)
  • TheLaser
    TheLaser Posts: 338 Member
    This is my official second round on MPF, the successful first time being 2 kids and over five years ago when I was more in control of my schedule and my time. Here are some of my thoughts & suggestions based on what you've mentioned.

    First, congratulations on starting and realizing some of your triggers! The second step is, as you are aware, finding ways to modify and adapt so that the triggers are eliminated or minimized. Change will not happen unless problematic habits are broken. Also, remember that what you are doing is so important for your children -you do not want them to have bad habits for life that are difficult to break out of, so when you make a change, it can profoundly affect the whole family's life!

    It seems like you struggle mainly with two things: binge eating when you are alone, and the fast-food lifestyle that your boyfriend likes. I think the first is maybe more easily fixed than the second, because the boyfriend has to get on board to support alternatives.

    Fixing #1: How well do I know that feeling of freedom when the kids go to sleep and suddenly my time is my own! Here I find I have to get busy with something else rather than food, and avoid the eating-just-because-it's there-and-I-can. Can you use that time to work out instead? Try to get busy doing something else that you love that is not food-related: if not working out, then reading, watching a movie, crafts, writing an MFP blog about your day? This is the time that I like to enjoy myself and indulge in something I can't do when the kids are awake, so the replacement activity should be something that I feel is an indulgence, not work. Notice what your triggers are that lead you to the refrigerator at this time.

    Fixing #2: This is so hard! I never eat fast food (and rarely eat out at all) because I feel disgusting after fast food, and fast food generally looks disgusting to me. Also I feel like it is a huge waste of money, esp. when I could make something better at home myself. My first suggestion is to remove the temptation itself, e.g. doing something other than eating out with your bf -can you do something more active and pack a picnic lunch? Even if he wants to "relax" after doing physical work during the week, taking a walk or something on that level is not a huge effort. If you can't get him on board with that, finding alternatives on the menus as others have suggested is a good idea, and finding motivational ways to keep yourself from eating badly while out will help. Maybe you can focus on remembering how that food makes you feel afterward, or on what is actually in that food and what goes into its preparation (do some research)? It will be hard to resist temptation so you have to have some real strategies going into it, but it's better to just avoid it altogether if you can. There is such a thing as a fast food addiction, so if you have that, continuing to go out will not break it.
  • EmPersson
    EmPersson Posts: 768 Member
    I love that you're reflecting so clearly on your first week's experience! I believe you will go far if you stick with it! I have no specific advice to offer to you. However, you asked what we've learned about ourselves? This is my second time really using MFP. I used it solidly a few years ago and it was great and helped to teach me portion control and such. BUT what I didn't plan for was when I reached a weight that I was happy with, and started to fall off the wagon of logging things, and letting things slide... basically, I didn't have an exit strategy to keep me successful. So, here I am, heavier than I ever was before. But, I'm working on it, and getting lighter every day with every good decision! And this time, I plan to have an exit strategy - whether it's an accountability partner, or logging my weight on here once a week, or what have you. I'll come up with something, but I'm not there yet. Anyway, that was my recent "ah-ha" moment about myself. Best of luck to you on your journey!