Overcoming Mental/Emotional Roadblocks

aflane
aflane Posts: 625 Member
edited November 18 in Health and Weight Loss
I'm looking for advice on how to deal with my mental roadblocks.

I lost weight before, but gained it all back (plus some), as many have done. I restarted my weight loss journey in late November, 2016. So far, I've lost 45 pounds (no complaints) -- I feel comfortable with my dietary lifestyle. I call it the "turtle weight loss program", slow and steady... like a turtle. BUT, when I look in the mirror, I don't see a difference (very common, I know). I'm willing to ignore my mirror issues.

Here's my problem. Having lost 45 lbs, I've also gone down 2 clothing sizes. I bought new pants, and they fit. But I can't seem to make myself wear them! It took me over 3 weeks to even try them on (ordered online). I finally got the nerve to try them on over the weekend. Even though I now know they fit, I'm still fearful that they won't. I keep wearing the pants that are too big. I pull them up all day long.

How do I overcome this clothing hurdle? It sounds weird, but I truly am mentally stuck.

Replies

  • BurlzGettingFit
    BurlzGettingFit Posts: 115 Member
    Honestly, when it comes to mental issues that you haven't been able to overcome by yourself, my first thought is therapy. If you can afford it and find someone you jibe with it does a world of good.
  • nicholerohrer
    nicholerohrer Posts: 40 Member
    I agree that therapy might be beneficial. I don't know what motivates you or what makes things "click" for you- but for me, having my SO tell me that baggier clothes made me look bigger and the fitted clothing made me look nice- helped me feel better wearing clothes that fit me. We're all in this to look and feel better, why wear clothes that undermine our hard work?

    Good luck!
  • moonstroller
    moonstroller Posts: 210 Member
    I've found that when I continue wearing pants that no longer fit because I've shrunk it gives me a constant affirmation of the weight I've lost, where as when I wear pants that fit nicely, well, they fit nicely, so there isn't that constant reminder of how much I've lost. Even though I know the pants that are too big have a 40 inch waist and the pants that fit have a 34 inch waist, because they fit nicely it still feels...like I haven't lost anything. Also I worry that one morning I'm going to slip on the 34 inch pants and I won't be able to button them, which has happened in the past.
  • ItsyBitsy246
    ItsyBitsy246 Posts: 307 Member
    moonstroller wrote: »
    . . . because they fit nicely it still feels...like I haven't lost anything. . . .

    Omg, so much this!

  • aflane
    aflane Posts: 625 Member
    Moonstroller, I think you just identified my problem. The need for a daily weight-loss affirmation. Now... how do I overcome it?
  • moonstroller
    moonstroller Posts: 210 Member
    Well, what works for me is to put on the too big pants first, and then let them hang there, or fall down, and then I put on the pants that fit. This way I get to see the pants that four months ago were too tight looking like clown pants on me now, before I put on the pants that actually fit.
  • need2move2
    need2move2 Posts: 130 Member
    I know what you mean... when I go to try on sizes I always go for my old size. I am still working on my first -20 but my body shape has changed. I hate wearing old baggy clothes... makes me still look big and feel icky.
  • aflane
    aflane Posts: 625 Member
    moonstroller wrote: »
    Well, what works for me is to put on the too big pants first, and then let them hang there, or fall down, and then I put on the pants that fit. This way I get to see the pants that four months ago were too tight looking like clown pants on me now, before I put on the pants that actually fit.

    I'll give it a try tomorrow morning. Thank you for the advice, everyone.
  • 150poundsofme
    150poundsofme Posts: 523 Member
    I think one of the reasons I may gain my weight back is I feel no one ever notices. Why? Because I am wearing the same clothes as before. A few times I have lost 50 lbs. People only seem to notice when I start binging again so their complement means nothing to me (well, that's another issue). I am proud of you for your weight loss. I hope you feel proud of yourself. Maybe get a box and put the too big clothes for you in it. And one day, you will be ready to donate them. Do you feel comfortable in your new fitted clothes? You might just be used to looser type clothes and these new pants maybe feel like they show to much of you. Try wearing the new pants in the house for a few hours and step in front of the mirror often so you can start seeing the new you and realizing it is not too scary. Hugs
  • aflane
    aflane Posts: 625 Member
    We're not going to discuss my baggy sweaters that are now mini-dress length. I had a few tops that were comfortably loose, that are falling off the shoulders big now. I've started a donation pile in the corner. I still have over 100 lbs to lose... someone is going to get a LOT of clothes.
  • daneejela
    daneejela Posts: 461 Member
    I think what you're experiencing is quite normal..you're on your "winning streak" and afraid to change anything so that you wouldn't accidentally break that steak.
    Many profesional sport players have had similar experience (like wearing the same socks for games, same sneakers , same rituals etc.). I felt the same many times in many areas of my life.
    Life is chaotic and unpredictable and sometimes we find strength in this old, familiar things.
    Maybe your old pants are your lucky charm (I do not believe in the super-natural power of lucky charm, but I do believe in the psychological benefits of one).
    I might not be helpful here, but, I'll say - while you need it, go with it. :)
    You can start slowly with replacing your shirts and see how would you feel. Then maybe wear a new pants for an hour or two. You can keep your old pants somewhere around you where you can see them every day until you start to feel that it's not the pants that keep you going, but your daily efforts and newly established habits. :)
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,629 Member
    aflane wrote: »
    Here's my problem. Having lost 45 lbs, I've also gone down 2 clothing sizes. I bought new pants, and they fit. But I can't seem to make myself wear them! It took me over 3 weeks to even try them on (ordered online). I finally got the nerve to try them on over the weekend. Even though I now know they fit, I'm still fearful that they won't. I keep wearing the pants that are too big. I pull them up all day long.

    How do I overcome this clothing hurdle? It sounds weird, but I truly am mentally stuck.

    What's the worst that would happen if you just put them on and wore them one day?

  • aflane
    aflane Posts: 625 Member
    edited May 2017
    Well they don't look monstrously huge, just comfortably baggy. BUT, my pants slide down when I put my phone in my pocket. Waaaaay too far down. Far enough down, that I would be flashing people if I weren't wearing my too large undies.

    I think that I'm just afraid of my new pants. They're eeeeeeevil.
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