I Need Support

Hi, my name is Jojo and I am trying to lose weight...again. I started out at 196 pounds - and I am only 5'4. I had always wanted to lose weight, but never really put forth the effort. That is until I was given an ultimatum and therefore had no chance but to lose the weight. My ultimate goal at the time was in the 120s, and I got down to 170, which I was really proud of. Losing 30 pounds! That's huge! I was looking forward to continuing my progress, until I was voluntarily thrown into a new environment. At the time, I was so overwhelmed that my weight priority was maintenance untilI settled down. Well, after I finally did, the opposite happened - I got comfortable. My diet went out of the window, and I gained back ALL of the weight - and then sone. I am now 205 pounds, and so disappointed with myself. Every day is a challenge, and my battle with food seems like one I can't win. With every breath I take, I feel like crying because of my weight. I blame everything on my weight. Of course there are the "...doesn't like you because of your weight" thoughts, but there are even everyday tasks that I blame on my weight. For example, where I am it was around 90 degrees today. You know what I said to myself? "You are hot because of all of that fat.". Though that statement has some truth to it, my weight was not 100% the reason why I was hot. You might be saying: just eat less, and healthier, and exercise; but the thing is that I do exercise: for 45 minutes 4 times a week - with intermediate swimming. But when it comes to food, it is like it has some sort of hold on me - I have discovered that backing away from the table is Mitch harder than when I first started. Now you might be wondering: what is it that you want? I am gong to put this next part in all caps for those people who want to know solely that. I WANT A PARTNER. FOR SUPPORT, FOR ACCOUNTABILITY. SOMEONE WHOM I CAN SHARE MY WEEKLY WEIGH INS WITH, BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS THAT IF I AM RELYING ON TELLING SOMEONE ELSE MY WEIGHT WHO IS EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING, IT WILL MAKE IT EASIER FOR ME. Now I know that this is a lot to ask, but if I can just get one person to say the words: "I've got you, I'm here for you", and make me keep up with my weekly health and weigh ins and vice versa, that would mean the world to me. Sorry for rambling, but it is what it is.
Thank you to hopefully my future partner, and I look forward to your support and info.
P.S. My weight goal now is in the 135-140 range. I still want to have a figure.