Vent/laugh about your negative commentators
curvygirly911
Posts: 105 Member
I haven't read all of the postings here so maybe this has been done before and if so let me know please 
I get a lot of negativity in my life from my family and it's hard to deal with it on your own. I think we should as a group stick together and maybe post some of the nonsense we hear and laugh at it together or vent together. what do you think?
I get a lot of negativity in my life from my family and it's hard to deal with it on your own. I think we should as a group stick together and maybe post some of the nonsense we hear and laugh at it together or vent together. what do you think?
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I'll start:
My entire family is HORRIFIED at my weight gain and though I'm working on it, they like to "shock me" by being cruel. So i've decided to start being funny with it. So my mom will say daily to me first thing , "are you going to exercise now", doesn't matter if it's 7 am and I'm dressing for work, or I've had a 10 hour work shift. So lately I've been saying " exercise? I thought you said extra fries!" and the humor in it just makes her have no choice but to laugh and it deflects me having to answer her stupid question because usually she asks when it's just not practical for me to work out.
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curvygirly911 wrote: »I'll start:
My entire family is HORRIFIED at my weight gain and though I'm working on it, they like to "shock me" by being cruel. So i've decided to start being funny with it. So my mom will say daily to me first thing , "are you going to exercise now", doesn't matter if it's 7 am and I'm dressing for work, or I've had a 10 hour work shift. So lately I've been saying " exercise? I thought you said extra fries!" and the humor in it just makes her have no choice but to laugh and it deflects me having to answer her stupid question because usually she asks when it's just not practical for me to work out.
That doesn't sound cruel. Ill timed perhaps, but it's probably coming from a good place. I'd be concerned if one of my children gained a significant amount of weight.2 -
Disagree. In my household all 3 of us were fat, myself, my wife and daughter.Need2Exerc1se wrote: »...That doesn't sound cruel. Ill timed perhaps, but it's probably coming from a good place. I'd be concerned if one of my children gained a significant amount of weight.
What I did was get off my rump, exercise, change my diet and drop 50lbs. My daughter is now on her own journey without any snippy comments from me just leading by example.6 -
2011rocket3touring wrote: »
Disagree. In my household all 3 of us were fat, myself, my wife and daughter.Need2Exerc1se wrote: »...That doesn't sound cruel. Ill timed perhaps, but it's probably coming from a good place. I'd be concerned if one of my children gained a significant amount of weight.
What I did was get off my rump, exercise, change my diet and drop 50lbs. My daughter is now on her own journey without any snippy comments from me just leading by example.
So? How does that make a mother suggesting exercise "cruel"?
It may well be cruel but it doesn't sound that way from the post to me.2 -
Was it you that made a post about your dad being so mean to you about your weight?0
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Non solicited advice for something as personal as weight gain is not really likely to be taken any way but cruel.Need2Exerc1se wrote: »...So? How does that make a mother suggesting exercise "cruel"?
It may well be cruel but it doesn't sound that way from the post to me.5 -
2011rocket3touring wrote: »
Non solicited advice for something as personal as weight gain is not really likely to be taken any way but cruel.Need2Exerc1se wrote: »...So? How does that make a mother suggesting exercise "cruel"?
It may well be cruel but it doesn't sound that way from the post to me.
This is not my experience. I guess it depends on the person and the relationship.1 -
2011rocket3touring wrote: »
Non solicited advice for something as personal as weight gain is not really likely to be taken any way but cruel.Need2Exerc1se wrote: »...So? How does that make a mother suggesting exercise "cruel"?
It may well be cruel but it doesn't sound that way from the post to me.
Agreed. Non solicited advice is generally unwanted.1 -
Read curvygirls other thread and you'll get how its cruel.
I normally say "Well I can lose weight but you'll always be a tw@t."
Or I say nothing. Let it fuel my hatefire and push myself harder. Because ill be the one laughing when I've lost the weight2 -
People have told me I must have daddy issues or that I just want attention because, simply, of my profile pictures. They all are very similar, showing my entire body (though it is obviously covered up). I don't get why people on fitness sites feel the need to bash other people who have made it so far... It's just dumb, and it doesn't affect me. I'm proud of my body, I look great, I feel great, and jealously isn't pretty.1
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My favorite, from my narcissistic sister. She had called me fat during a particular explosive screaming fit. I was definitely fat, not disputing it. Just over the line to obese. The screaming was bad enough that I opted for a relationship break, and we didn't talk for a while. When we did talk later, she couldn't understand what she had said that made me so angry. I explained that she had said many horrible things (including the "fat" comment) and her response was this:
"Well, I'm sorry, but SOMEONE had to tell you that you're obese. And what about your kids? I'm worried about their futures because you're teaching them that being fat is OK. Maybe they should come live with me." She said this quite seriously.
Irony: Her own daughter is overweight. My 3 are not. All 4 kids were there in the room while she was screaming and cursing at me.
The next time I saw her, she jokingly said, "Why are your kids so SKINNY? Don't you feed them?" Luckily, my kids didn't register that she was being critical of their bodies. All they heard was that she was implying I was a bad parent. I guess that's better?
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^Ah, the concern troll approach to abuse. They're always so worried about you! Why can't you just accept their no-nonsense love?1
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Thanks for all the postings. So I think I should have elaborated a bit more, my apologies. As one poster said, yes this is in regards to my previous thread about emotional abuse from my dad regarding my weight.
Now, I get that asking your child to workout is not unhealthy or negative, but my mom does it EVERY DAY when she sees me, no matter how many times a day she sees me. I could be walking in the door from a long shift and settling down for a meal and she goes " are you going to exercise?" and she means that very moment not in general. Even if I finished a workout at the swimming pool, she will still ask me this because she doesn't think it's a workout if it's in water.0 -
@TmacMMM- that is such nonsense, I"m sorry you have to deal with it. What I feel like I would say is, unless you want to pay for my gym membership, our meals, and activities to help us be healthier- stay out of it. Also next time you're both alone, mention you would like her to refrain from food/weight/body talk infront of the children because you don't want them to pick up her negative body image talk.
Irony always makes me laugh especially regarding weight.0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »2011rocket3touring wrote: »
Non solicited advice for something as personal as weight gain is not really likely to be taken any way but cruel.Need2Exerc1se wrote: »...So? How does that make a mother suggesting exercise "cruel"?
It may well be cruel but it doesn't sound that way from the post to me.
This is not my experience. I guess it depends on the person and the relationship.
I'm glad that hasn't been your experience. In my experience any form of suggestion, comments, advice has always been dripping with negativity, sarcasm and cruelty. My family just doesn't know any better to be quite honest.1 -
You should try being from a SE Asian background.
One day: Eat, eat, why are you not eating? Eat. Now eat some more. You bring shame on the family.
The next day: Ayeeee. Why are you so fat? Fatty fat fat. You bring shame on the family*
Personally, I think the humour / eye roll / tune it out / agree with them but keep doing your own thing is the way to go. Pick your battles and all that.
*scenario deliberately exaggerated for illustrative purposes only. Any connection to persons living or dead are purely co-incidental.2 -
You should try being from a SE Asian background.
One day: Eat, eat, why are you not eating? Eat. Now eat some more. You bring shame on the family.
The next day: Ayeeee. Why are you so fat? Fatty fat fat. You bring shame on the family*
Personally, I think the humour / eye roll / tune it out / agree with them but keep doing your own thing is the way to go. Pick your battles and all that.
*scenario deliberately exaggerated for illustrative purposes only. Any connection to persons living or dead are purely co-incidental.
haha...this made me laugh
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curvygirly911 wrote: »
Hahaha! The struggle is real sister and I feel your pain
Consider it good training for your mental and emotional resilience which will serve you well for the rest of your life. Other people's words only have the power that you allow them and don't let other people's opinions to knock you off course from the path that is right for you.
Woo!0 -
ColoradoChlo wrote: »People have told me I must have daddy issues or that I just want attention because, simply, of my profile pictures. They all are very similar, showing my entire body (though it is obviously covered up). I don't get why people on fitness sites feel the need to bash other people who have made it so far... It's just dumb, and it doesn't affect me. I'm proud of my body, I look great, I feel great, and jealously isn't pretty.
Nobody has the right to photo shame you, and you look fantastic!0
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