Kinda scared...

Options
mom2enlp
mom2enlp Posts: 38 Member
in Motivation and Support
Need a reminder that I'm doing what's best for me and my girls by finally dropping this weight...

So I've been trying really hard to take better care of myself for a couple of years now, and I'm pleased with my progress so far. I'm nowhere near the 308 lb. - 5'5" body I was, and I have a lot more energy. I run around with my girls, and I don't have to sit on the sidelines anymore (and that's a huge improvement even with more than 100 lbs. to go!). I love to walk and roller skate. I'm having a lot of fun!

I'm also single for the first time in 17 years. The attention I get from people has begun to change. Certain body parts get a lot more attention than I'd like. I've always been the fat chick in my family, so most men never found out that I'm nice or even cared about my intelligence. Part of me wants to stay my big, dumpy self so I don't have to deal with any of it. I haven't started to slide yet, but I'm terrified that I will.

Will I learn to ignore it? Has anyone else been where I am right now?

HELP!

Replies

  • jscimeca1
    jscimeca1 Posts: 3
    Options
    I know how you feel. Your starting to do really good but terrified every day that you slip and gain it all back. I honestly feel like that every day. I just recently found out about MFP but I have been "dieting" for years.
    I have also had days were I figured it would be easier to give up and stay my larger self so I don't have to deal with certain things..
    You definitely are not alone. I say kudos to you for having the guts to say what a lot of people think about every day.
    Good luck with your weight loss journey, I'm sure you will do GREAT!

    From,
    Jessica
  • cessnaholly
    cessnaholly Posts: 780 Member
    Options
    I've felt like that most of my life - sweats are a great way to get guys not to look at you. But since I've been on MFP, I lost some weight and do feel a little better. It may change for you too. It is a good thing even if it is new and a little scary.
  • kathleennf
    kathleennf Posts: 606 Member
    Options
    Change is always scary. It's much easier to live with the "known" problems and discomforts and aggravations that to get accustomed to new ones. But you have already made a HUGE positive change in your life- for your health and for your girls. Keep it up!! It's important that you love and take care of yourself, stay healthy, have fun and hang in there! Life is good- seriously!
  • jmlmomma
    jmlmomma Posts: 2
    Options
    Yes!! I've been where your at...I was 125 when I met my husband 25 years ago.. I'm now 240. I'm always the fattest in the room, and can not do everything others can..
    I've tried to lose weight in the past but when someone would comment on me "looking good" I would freak inside and stop all that I was doing! weird I know but it happens... This time I will NOT let it happen. In fact I picture myself running in a very skimpy outfit and enjoying the looks! :o).....and when my husband says stuff like..."I will be jealous and don't want others looking at you" which he did this morning!!!... I say...to bad...you better get your butt in gear and keep up! I'm done being fat and I mean it!
    so Don't let the looks or comments stop you, enjoy them!! and KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!
  • SailingMike
    SailingMike Posts: 237 Member
    Options
    What a hero you are! Such a GREAT example to your daughters. Keep it up, teach them a healthy lifestyle. Remember its really about HEALTH not weight. A healthier you will be able to do more, be alive longer for your girls and be able as a grandma to have more fun with grand-children when they come.

    Don't DIET.... Live Healthy.
  • daniface
    daniface Posts: 338 Member
    Options
    i think for a lot of us being over weight has been a sheild of some sort, for me its a sheild to keep people away, and an emotional crutch. Just losing the weight isnt going to make that go away. keep a blog or a diary it will help you have a conversation with yourself about your fears and where they stem from..
  • lbn23
    lbn23 Posts: 9
    Options
    Don't give them the satisfaction! Anyone who gives "attention" that makes its recipient feel uncomfortable is being a harassing jerkwad. Don't let a harassing jerkwad shame you into being unhealthy or (God forbid) an early death. (So you can tell that my reaction to this is anger - not super healthy, but defiance can be useful sometimes).

    Look away. Wear ipod headphones. wear a gold band if you are going out and really want people to stay away. talk to your friends. Read hollabacknyc.com to see how other women deal with it. Do anything you want EXCEPT back slide.

    You can do it! You have a right to a healthy body without unwanted attention and harassment!!
  • CoCoMa
    CoCoMa Posts: 906 Member
    Options
    Hi there, you are definitely in the right place, and I certainly can relate. The part of you that wants to stay in your current state is the insecure part and it has to go. I believe that the more active you are, the less depressed you will feel. Sounds like major changes are happening in your life, and the biggest gift that you can give to your kids is a healthier, happier mommy!! Hang in there and hugs.
  • twink44
    twink44 Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    I am turning 60 this year and the thing that still scares me is the attention and I honestly don't think i will have to worry about it anymore. It's been a lifetime of feeling judged by my looks. I was the cute blonde that just got more attention than I ever wanted and who was assumed to be shallow and not very smart. I lost 50 pounds just after I turned 50 and graduated from college. I felt really great like the protective shell was no longer needed. The next time I felt judged again was when my husband I filed bankruptcy after losing our assets in the real estate dive in Michigan. I started eating my way up the ladder. Somewhere buried in this is the underlying belief that I don't deserve to look and feel great without being judged. My breakthrough is to let go of the concern of what others think about the way I look. I am going to succeed with that. You deserve to feel good, look good and be your own amazing self!
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
    Options
    Another thing that is changing besides your weight is your personality. Don't fret all the attention you are getting. You are probably more confident and out going now. I don't know the circumstances of your being single again after so long, but that may contribute to a happier less stressful demeanor too. Men can sense that as well. Talk to your friends and people who know you, and will tell you honestly, if you are sending out the wrong signals to get those types of replies. If that is not the case then just practice handling it and it will get easier.

    Best wishes on continues successes, stick with it.
  • Lolyballs
    Lolyballs Posts: 180 Member
    Options
    This is a difficult topic for me. I start typing and then backspace because I think I am saying more than anyone wants to hear. dlaplume2 makes a good point about signals. Stick to your guns. You sound like you are happy with the way your life is now and you are doing great! Do you want to change all that? Think about that when you are getting this attention... sometimes a simple GET LOST works wonders.

Categories