Man I need to lose weight this time...!

Hi all, technically not a newbie, although I've just started a new profile as it's been that long since my last one was used I think it's lapsed or something!

I'm in the UK, north east, and am a 37 year old mum of 2 working 4 days a week in an office. I've struggled with my weight for most of my life and only remember a period of a year or so, when I was really focused on Weight Watchers, when I was happy with my weight. I got down to a size 12-14, addressed loads of my emotional issues and felt really happy with myself and my body. I then fell in love, settled down and piled on pound after pound. During my first pregnancy I suffered with bad morning sickness and actually lost weight, and after giving birth I weighed less than before I was pregnant, but that didn't last and by the time I was pregnant with my second child I was significantly heavier and 'larger'. I gained a lot of weight during the second pregnancy and have never lost it.

I now weigh as much as I did when I was 9 months pregnant with my eldest child, and in terms of dress size I am easily as large as my 9 months pregnant self! A lot of my friends are younger, slimmer and healthier than me and I feel very self conscious when spending time with them, even though they never mention anything or make me feel bad.

I've been berating myself for months (years!) about how out of control my weight has become - I have developed foot and leg pain and have now damaged my Achilles tendon in large part due to my weight. I am only 5' 2" and have spent at least 10 years carrying a lot of weight around on my very small frame so it's only natural that my joints and tendons are starting to complain! So compounding my inability to say no to junk food, sweets and cakes is an inability to do much in the way of exercise. I've had to cancel my gym membership because it was £35 a month and I wasn't using the gym so it seemed like a waste.

Last night it came to a head when I couldn't sleep because I was so hot and uncomfortable and I couldn't lie comfortably in bed on my front because my tummy is so big that it hurts my back, my side because the pressure on my hips (which are still damaged from childbirth) was too much or my back because the weight on my chest almost suffocates me! So I vowed to re-join Weight Watchers until I discovered how much that costs and remembered about MFP!

I'll be joining some challenges in the coming weeks but first I want to get a handle on food.

Be seeing you all around

K xx