I'm obsessed...
BWA468
Posts: 101 Member
Ok I need to have a rant. I am living at home as I am hoping to move overseas in a couple of months and decided to lose the beef. My SW 101.kg and have lost 5kg in a month. I eat close to my calorie intake of 1580/day. I eat pizza， burritos， pasta， salads etc. My mum is also on mfp but uses a fitness tracker for exercise calories (some random tracker that gives her over 300 calories a day for walking around at 74kg). This seems quite high and I dont believe its accurate at all but she swears by it and eats all her exercise calories back. I dont. I log accurately and weigh in same time every week (sat morning， after toilet and naked). Mum says I'm obssessed with calorie counting. Wtf!? Its frustrating and negative and she says I always go on about it. She thinks cause of how i weigh in is obsessive. She weighs in on random days，drinks before weighing in etc. She can do what she wants I don't care. She doesnt want to be pendantic which is fine but I really don't think I am either. I'm being accurate! I get annoyed when I have 700 calories left for dinner and she wants to make something for 800+ calories. She doesnt seem to get it. This is why I do go on about it cause I dont want to starve throughout the day just to eat what she makes for dinner so I end up making my own half the time which I don't mind but that also annoys her. Ugh! Anyone else have an issue similar? I have no one to talk too about this cause I don't like telling other people I'm trying to lose weight
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Replies
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sounds about normal.
Use a trending weight app to record your weight level and not get distracted by fluctuations. Let your mom freak out when she gains 5lbs overnight after going out to eat a high sodium meal, while you smugly sit there confident in your trend
I will let the smart MFPeops advise you on parental handling--it's above my pay grade!6 -
Your mom is on MFP and can read this and you still posted a thread talking smack about her? Brave girl considering you live in her home.15
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Sounds like the trails of an adult kid living with the parents! Just let it go in one ear and out the other and let her know to avoid the hassle, you'll cook for yourself. Don't sweat the small stuff!!5
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Aw, it's your mom!2
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I posted this after I said all of this to her. I'm not being mean at all. She told me she eats healthier than her which is probably true but I eat healthy foods and still have not so healthy foods. She and other family have been on about my weight ever since I was 8yrs old and I wasnt even fat as a kid. I did balloon up at about 12yrs old cause I was really depressed with home life. She has always been obsessed about her weight and put that onto me. I used to try and starve myself and restrict etc and she did the same at times. I was always called fat and that I needed to lose weight by my stepdad which she never objected too. She has done all sorts of unhealthy diets over the years which I've seen and it has always made me feel bad about myself. Im trying to do this the right way and re-educate her that you can eat what you want but what really matters is CICO. To do that is has to be accurate..3
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That's par for the course, lol. Nobody understands what it's like to do what we do and achieve success unless they do it. I bet your mom ain't losing as fast as you and probably does the old trick where she sits down at the end of the day and logs what she thinks she ate that day and underestimate by 500.
Those who put their noses up at us when we track calories are jealous and unwilling to do what it takes. Good for them if they can lose without tracking, but don't pretend they're better than us if we need to track.
And BTW, awesome loss, it's proof you're succeeding, keep up the good work.2 -
Yes I will try not dwell on it or let it hurt my progress but it’d be nice if she could be more supportive. I try and support her but we butt heads with everything not just this stuff so guess its probably going to stay this way till I leave1
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Thanks for those words Rusty! Yeah I dont like explaining mfp to people but since my mum is on here i thought it was something we could chat about and have in common but nope.1
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I think it just comes down to how much you want to lose weight. Your mum sounds like she's just trying to be aware of what she eats and not completely overeating. But you want to lose weight more.
It's better that you weigh in each week on the same day as that's one way to keep track. Just keep doing what you're doing !
Maybe ask what's for dinner each day so you can tell her if you'll have the calories. Or offer to cook for her4 -
It sounds like you are more serious about your program. But not everyone is on target 100 percent. Sounds like that annoys your mom, that you are and she doesn't take it as seriously as you do. I would give her a pass on this and not let it stress you out too much. Congratulations on sticking to your program!
Thanks Noel yeah it doesnt bother me she's not as into this as me but it's just annoying with the negativity. I dont obsessively log and I guesstimate sometimes but the forums have helped me learn sooo much but I guess it is each to their own. I want her to finally be happy with herself which is why I do try and talk about it but I wont from now on if it causes friction 0 -
I moved in with my mom after I had some health problems hoping to heal a bit but turns out she's struggling with caring for her self. Its been difficult to change care taking roles. It's not a ton of fun to be an adult living with your parents.
You keep doing you and let her deal with her frustration. My mom is scared about that amount of eggs (2 a day) I eat but will then eat 3-4 ice cream bars a day (they are dark chocolate and raspberry so is healthy, lol)
Actually trying to control my mother is when I realized the only thing I can control is my food choices and thats when I got back to MFP.
Sorry I don't have much help for you but I get it.2 -
I think it just comes down to how much you want to lose weight. Your mum sounds like she's just trying to be aware of what she eats and not completely overeating. But you want to lose weight more.
It's better that you weigh in each week on the same day as that's one way to keep track. Just keep doing what you're doing !
Maybe ask what's for dinner each day so you can tell her if you'll have the calories. Or offer to cook for her
I do that but she says “I dont know I'll look in a recipe book which has the calorie content”. She does try but you cant go by the calorie content in a book especially when she swaps out ham for bacon! Lol so yeah another ‘discussion’ right there!1 -
I moved in with my mom after I had some health problems hoping to heal a bit but turns out she's struggling with caring for her self. Its been difficult to change care taking roles. It's not a ton of fun to be an adult living with your parents.
You keep doing you and let her deal with her frustration. My mom is scared about that amount of eggs (2 a day) I eat but will then eat 3-4 ice cream bars a day (they are dark chocolate and raspberry so is healthy, lol)
Actually trying to control my mother is when I realized the only thing I can control is my food choices and thats when I got back to MFP.
Sorry I don't have much help for you but I get it.
Aww I hope you are better now I think with the amount of bad info they were taught about diets and weightloss in the 80s and 90s is hard to forget and relearn the correct ways. There was so much bad info out there back then and there still is. If she loses then great but I'll stop trying to give her advise until she asks and just keep doing my own thing I appreciate all the comments even if I am thought to be mean lol 3 -
I posted this after I said all of this to her. I'm not being mean at all. She told me she eats healthier than her which is probably true but I eat healthy foods and still have not so healthy foods. She and other family have been on about my weight ever since I was 8yrs old and I wasnt even fat as a kid. I did balloon up at about 12yrs old cause I was really depressed with home life. She has always been obsessed about her weight and put that onto me. I used to try and starve myself and restrict etc and she did the same at times. I was always called fat and that I needed to lose weight by my stepdad which she never objected too. She has done all sorts of unhealthy diets over the years which I've seen and it has always made me feel bad about myself. Im trying to do this the right way and re-educate her that you can eat what you want but what really matters is CICO. To do that is has to be accurate..
Therein lies the problem - stop trying to re educate her and she will probably stop or at least ease back on trying to re educate you.
Sounds like you both think your way is right and are trying to convert each other.
I suggest call a truce - You are both adults - she does it her way without 're education' - you do it your way likewise
I would have a word to her saying this so you can both know where you stand and politely cut each other off if one of you starts doing it to each other in future.
and btw - yes CICO is what matters - but not everyone has to be accurate for that to work. I wasnt - I logged loosely and substituted ingredient all the time.
Everyone's way of finding a method that works for them is different.
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Ok I need to have a rant. I am living at home as I am hoping to move overseas in a couple of months and decided to lose the beef. My SW 101.kg and have lost 5kg in a month. I eat close to my calorie intake of 1580/day. I eat pizza， burritos， pasta， salads etc. My mum is also on mfp but uses a fitness tracker for exercise calories (some random tracker that gives her over 300 calories a day for walking around at 74kg). This seems quite high and I dont believe its accurate at all but she swears by it and eats all her exercise calories back. I dont. I log accurately and weigh in same time every week (sat morning， after toilet and naked). Mum says I'm obssessed with calorie counting. Wtf!? Its frustrating and negative and she says I always go on about it. She thinks cause of how i weigh in is obsessive. She weighs in on random days，drinks before weighing in etc. She can do what she wants I don't care. She doesnt want to be pendantic which is fine but I really don't think I am either. I'm being accurate! I get annoyed when I have 700 calories left for dinner and she wants to make something for 800+ calories. She doesnt seem to get it. This is why I do go on about it cause I dont want to starve throughout the day just to eat what she makes for dinner so I end up making my own half the time which I don't mind but that also annoys her. Ugh! Anyone else have an issue similar? I have no one to talk too about this cause I don't like telling other people I'm trying to lose weight
Everyone loses weight differently, there is a good chance you will never agree with how a single family member or friend loses weight. My mom and I have been at odds as far back as I can remember about weight loss. We don't live in the same home anymore, but, weight is always going to be one of those things. She's one of those people that likes to do crazy 800 calorie diets and then she's not really doing the diet because she isn't logging but she convinces other people to try the thing she isn't even really doing. She gets very annoyed with me for losing weight at 1900-2200 calories. I've been working on my weight since April 1st, have very gradually lost 14 lbs, but, my mom is still convinced it's just water weight.. lol
You just can't worry about it. She's your mom, a good relationship with her is more pleasant than a bad one. There are conversations you just need to say, 'yeah, uh huh' and move on. I try to avoid the topic with my mom, but, if she brings it up I try to keep it as brief as possible. It's really all you can do. 2 -
Yes I will try not dwell on it or let it hurt my progress but it’d be nice if she could be more supportive. I try and support her but we butt heads with everything not just this stuff so guess its probably going to stay this way till I leave
I just posted something similar to this complaining lol people always have their opinions and I get needing to vent - I did too. I agree that your way is better for me, but she does what works for her. She sounds like she might not be that overweight, if she is at all, so she probably doesn't have the ability to relate to how you feel and why you're so strict.1 -
Verity1111 wrote: »Yes I will try not dwell on it or let it hurt my progress but it’d be nice if she could be more supportive. I try and support her but we butt heads with everything not just this stuff so guess its probably going to stay this way till I leave
I just posted something similar to this complaining lol people always have their opinions and I get needing to vent - I did too. I agree that your way is better for me, but she does what works for her. She sounds like she might not be that overweight, if she is at all, so she probably doesn't have the ability to relate to how you feel and why you're so strict.
She wants to lose 5kg but to get to a healthy weight needs to lose 17kg. Yeah I'll avoid the topic but its hard especially when she reings it up. We get along well so it's not like massive arguments or anything like that but it probably is a touchy subject lol. She's never been as big as me and I havent even told her how much I want to lose cause I'm embarressed about my size. Will make the subject off limits as much as I can 0 -
Can you offer to do the cooking?
I think we all have the same issue when we live with other people though... dinner is always so tough for me because I'm hungry early in the day and less at night but everyone else needs more food at night so it's extremely frustrating - and I'm the one doing the cooking most of the time!
About your mom, a lot of people 'want' to lose weight but are not willing to put as much effort into it as others. Nothing we can do about it, unfortunately. At this point I'd just stop trying to talk to her about it and trying to make her understand how it works and just keep doing your thing.0 -
Maybe try and avoid fitness-diet talks with her? Just say something like, 'I am glad we're both focused on getting healthier and we both have things that work for us, but let's chat about something else!' and then bring up literally anything else. She doesn't need to agree with what you're doing and you don't need to agree with what she is doing. You're both adults. Unless one of you is asking the other for advice or information, just best to leave it off maybe. In terms of dinner, why can't you just eat a smaller portion? It's hard to believe she puts the food on a plate, gives it to you, tells you it's 900 calories and you have to eat it all? If that's the case, okay, then yes, make your own food. Other than that, just eat 3/4 of it or ask to serve your own portion.
For your own sanity, it really sounds like you need to address this (what sounds like an unhealthy) dynamic with your mother. It sounds like you have a very loaded history together and it might be important as a bigger issue to consider where and how you draw your boundaries with her in order to have a healthy life. Not to be over-stepping, but just my two cents. xx
Keep up the good work!0
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