GIving myself credit.

Hi, my name is Brittiney and I am a recovering binge eater. (I've never admitted to anyone I'm a binge eater. It's time to put my big girl panties on and face the facts.)

My boyfriend and I use to always order pizza or chinese or go out etc when he stays at my apartment. Well, since I started eating healthy I don't order out and I eat a lot of stuff he thinks is "gross". I'm okay with this, I knew going into my journey part of the struggle was seeing him eat the foods that I love so much, but knew I needed to stay away from. That being said, I do eat one of my favorite foods (in moderation) every week because if not I WILL binge. This works for me. I plan ahead, so it isn't a binge.

Okay, so my days off are Monday-Wednesday. Yesterday he ordered pizza. Dominos actually. I don't even like dominos. I could smell it all the way in my room from the kitchen. I was so angry. Not at him. At the food. But the smell was so endearing. I didn't want to eat it, I really didn't. But for 24 years I ate whatever I wanted and hell I could eat that pizza if I wanted to. I entered a slice into my diary to see where all my numbers would be. I put my sodium through the roof. I could have ate it, one slice. But really, I didn't want to. Not only am I trying to eat healthier, I am trying to lose weight. I know myself, I wouldn't be able to just eat one. I would want two or three and a mt. dew that I had in the fridge to wash it down. Oh, and the breyers snicker icecream in my freezer.

So, I didn't eat it. There are a few slices left, but I'm not going to eat it. I overcame that desire. Sitting here even thinking about the heart burn it may or probably would produce makes me not want to eat it more.

Now here is the kicker. I made this choice. I was in control. I was in control before too. I knew what I was eating when I binged and I would feel guilty after. I was in complete control then. So, here is my first documentable NSV. And I want to say out loud (well to my fellow MFP'ers). I did it. I'm proud of myself, and I'm finally giving myself credit for what I deserve.

Ya know, this may be a small thing relative to the rest of my journey. But really, to me...for me...its BIG. I've accomplished other things in the past 3 weeks. But this is by far the most satisfying. (Probably because I grew up in NY, and we had pizza 1-2x a week)

Okay sorry for the long post. you guys!!!