Love letter to my dog Lilli, the dog that saved my life (part 1)

laurimaki wrote: »

cont....(part 2)


I couldn’t even start to guess how many walks we’ve went on, how many miles we’ve tread, but all I know is that what we’ve done together is nothing short of amazing. I would’ve carried you for 10 miles if you’d let me, but all you needed was .4...I set you down with about 50 yards left, and you finished our walk, our last walk together. You did it baby! We did it, together as always. I lifted you back up into the SUV and we went on our way. Next stop was McDonalds...you again rested on my lap, but when Sara went into the restaurant, you got up as fast as your old legs would let you and you stared out the window for 10 minutes until you saw her again. You really do love your mom! We went back to the house, it was now 1pm...your favorite vet was coming at 3pm. We had 2 hours left. I tried to feed you some fries, of course you were not into them and you only ate a couple. I got some plain double cheeseburgers, one of your old favorite treats, and to my surprise, you scarfed a couple of them down, but refused a third. You wouldn’t eat the ice cream afterwards, but don’t worry, your brother Balto finished yours. Go figure, right to the very end, you were my food snob Lilli. After you ate, we had some more cuddling and I loved you the best way that I know how. Once the vet arrived, you were a little reluctant to join our circle, but you eventually did. When the needle went into your vein, you panicked for a second or two, until you found my eyes. I cuddled you hard, but not too hard for you, as you never looked away from me, a very intent gaze, as if saying your final farewell. You finally put your guard down, and rested. It took me a while to let go of you, I even helped carry you out of the house. But I took my blanket back that they used to cover you, and snuck a few more kisses and paw squishes. You always wanted me to be happy, you truly are the most selfless dog I’ve personally ever known. You would’ve suffered until the end of your days, just to prevent as much sadness for me as possible.

The thing is Lilli, today was perfect. You got to go for a ride, even just a short one, because you were able to ride. You got to go for a walk, even just a short one, because you were able to walk (for the most part...I secretly think you were mad when I picked you up...I’m not sure if that was because you wanted to tough it out until the end (don’t worry I know you’re tough), or if you finally realized how easy it could have been for you all of these years if I had just carried you on all of our walks ). You got to eat cheeseburgers, even just a little, because you still could. You got to snuggle, A TON, because I made you! lol. You gave us your love, a ton of it, because you still could. You did that each day, and every day, even with your struggles. I wanted you to go out like the proud dog you are, not having to suffer until it would’ve been way harder on both of us.

Today was the day Lilli, we got to spend one last morning and day, one of thousands of days, that were all amazing...but now you can finally rest. Your limitless love and selflessness to make sure we were all happy is something I will always treasure. I’ve never met a dog like you in my life, you are special. As your mom said, I will always want one more day, but for only having one more day, today was one of the best. I will never forget you, you meant the world to me Lilli. You literally saved my life, and gave me a friend I will never forget…I know you felt the same. I will forever be grateful for what you’ve given me, my very own “man’s best friend”, and a second chance at life. I can genuinely say that without you bothering me every day the first year of my journey to better health and finally lighting the flame under my butt that I needed, I would probably be dead right now. You’re not just a good dog, a good girl…you were the best. I love you Lilli. You put all of your remaining energy into the best farewell I could have imagined. There are a million more things I could write about you, but it's time. I was not ready to do this today, I don't think I ever would be. There is already an emptiness in my heart, and it literally aches because you are gone.

They say certain dogs are meant for certain people...and you were definitely meant for me. Not being greeted with your happy face and wagging tail when I wake up or enter the house will take some time for me to deal with. The first walk without you...I can't even talk about that. It's way harder for me now that you're gone, but it's finally easy for you, you can now stop fighting every day just to make me happy, and finally rest in peace my sweet baby, my Lilli, you deserve it.

With Love Always,
Your Dad