Uugggh...Back to Where I Started

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CMNVA
CMNVA Posts: 733 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I just need to get this out!! :'( It's part of my "getting back on the wagon."

So I started doing calorie counting back in late September. I wasn't all that overweight (5'7" and 156 lbs) but menopausal and the weight was creeping up rapidly. I put myself at 1200 calories to start (no exercise). It took about 3 weeks to see any progress but then it went really well. I incorporated Couch to 5K, upped my calories, and by December I had lost 16 lbs and was actually looking a little too thin. I started into maintenance and allowed myself to come up about 3 lbs. Then it all went bad. Why? I can only guess.

I made it through the holidays, but after that the weather went WAY downhill so I couldn't really get out to run/walk. It was dark by the time I got home, it was icy, it was yucky. I have a treadmill in my house, so no real excuses, but I found that after being outside, the thoughts of doing this indoors just depressed me.

I was then having some strange cardiac issues. I had been having heart palps all year and they has seemed to have gotten worse and my heart rate was going really low. Finally got an appointment with the doctor to get all that assessed. I was actually excited to have my cholesterol numbers done. Fasted for the appointment, which then apparently affected my EKG, which then prompted a cardiologist visit and through all that, my doctor FORGOT to run the cholesterol numbers. No big deal really except it irritated me (long story about the doctor that I won't get into here). Bottom line, this sent me on an emotional spiral that is my worst nightmare when it comes to eating. I definitely use food to get through stuff like that, and I did. It started out okay. I was moderating, I was trying to maintain. But I can't. It's either be very strict (which is so boring) or I just go overboard. It didn't help that it was winter and I couldn't find a decent piece of fruit either. But, these are all just excuses.

In the last month, my son has returned home from college. I am thankful that he wants to hang out with me, but he always wants to do something food related (let's try the new ramen shop, let's go to the food/wine festival, let's try this new restaurant in town) but my body can't keep up with that and I have found it extremely difficult to find options that aren't absolute calorie bombs in these types of places.

Soooo...I've had my awakening this week when most of my clothes won't fit. I'm 154 lbs, back up in what took about 3 months. I started re-logging yesterday on MFP but I feel so down about all of this. Trying really hard to figure out what to cook this week, especially with my son at home. He's in an internship this summer that is a long commute and he won't get home until 7PM each night and he'll be starving. I won't wait that long but I need to make things that make a lot and can be reheated well. I have a go-to chili recipe but that's about it. But that's really the least of my problems.

Getting myself in the right frame of mind is important. And I wonder if I will *ever* learn to maintain!

Anyway, just looking for some encouragement, tips, etc. Lectures are welcome too! :)

Christine

Replies

  • L1zardQueen
    L1zardQueen Posts: 8,754 Member
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    Your daily weight loss goal is too much. You can eat more and still lose weight. Why make yourself miserable.

    https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&g=female&age=55&lbs=154&in=68&act=1.2&f=2
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
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    Christine, I agree with Tiny Dancer.

    I think one of your reasons is that you were too strict.

    I'm menopausal too and recently hit a really bad patch, but my slide was restricted to 7 pounds.

    Let's do this together!

    First, about that treadmill... treadmills can be your friend or foe. I hop on mine all the time, and it becomes interesting if you either watch something interesting or listen to something interesting. My favorite treadmill treats are podcasts, I have several I listen to. I also play games while I'm walking on mine!

    The thing with exercise is making it a habit. Swear to yourself that you will do it every day for a month. Then do it.

    If that treadmill just isn't your thing, try something like fitness blender videos. Find something that you can do at home since climate is obviously something that will be an issue for you for at least a part of the year. Anyway, the point is to make exercise a habit that you will feel funny about not engaging in.

    This will greatly influence your TDEE. I think that's hugely important for us women of a certain age, that's why I've been going on about it. It's also part of why I think my weight gain has been limited.

    As for your son, start to take charge of the outings. Suggest bowling or rock climbing or browsing a downtown area or local park or even just going to a coffee shop where you can get a cup of tea and he can get something if he wants.

    Lastly, stop beating yourself up. There's nothing to gain with that. You've done this before, and more importantly, you've learned something from this experience. This time, you can take what you've learned and incorporate those lessons moving forward.
  • MelanieCN77
    MelanieCN77 Posts: 4,047 Member
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    Set up a screen in front of the treadmill and get yourself some headphones. It's deathly boring without any other entertainment, but the treadmill is a wonderful tool if you manage your brain too. As for the rest of it, you've done it before and can do it again. See what a previous poster said about being too restrictive.
  • Poisonedpawn78
    Poisonedpawn78 Posts: 1,145 Member
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    Start to teach your son to cook as well. Hes going to have to learn at some point to make healthy food, especially when he moves out and if he is single. Otherwise he is going to rely on a steady diet of fast food and pizza and that is going to get him into a bad place eventually.

    As a "son" who wish he started to learn to cook himself sooner, Do it for him!
  • PearDragon
    PearDragon Posts: 20 Member
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    No lectures from me, just sympathy! I'm in the same position - not problematically overweight, but recently regained weight and now unable to fit into most of my clothes.

    I finally reached my goal weight of 133lbs last summer, but two new jobs (the first one was very stressful and didn't help), a new academic course, a house move, Christmas, a failed house purchase and Easter later and I got back up to almost 150lbs if not more. I hadn't weighed that much in years.

    I properly restarted a few weeks ago, and only had the courage to actually weigh myself this morning. I'm now 147 lbs and have started logging again today. It's a bit miserable looking ahead to the coming months of good behaviour, but I know that if we did it once, we can both do it again. And we can learn from the mistakes we made and do it better this time! You learn something new from every false start or backstep. Have faith in yourself :)
  • bubaluboo
    bubaluboo Posts: 2,098 Member
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    I am re-losing. It's easy to come up with excuses why the gain happened but that's all they are and when we validate our excuses, it becomes easier to slip up again the next time a trigger happens. So (and I'm speaking to myself here too) I guess the thing is to say I made a bad choice that I'm not going to make again. The satisfaction of getting to the end of each day in goal is so much better than the regret of eating something that usually leaves me feeling disappointed and bloated. I like @MelanieCN77 post about getting entertainment in front of the treadmill...that's got me inspired!!
  • CMNVA
    CMNVA Posts: 733 Member
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    Everyone, thank you! I just want to clarify that I am not doing 1200 calories. I did that last year just to sort of jump start myself and purge myself of junk. I generally came in at about 1240 calories. I did that for 3 weeks and then moved up. It was a good way for me to recalibrate, but NO, I realize that is too restrictive. Right now I'm set at 1650 and not really doing much exercise. Yesterday was my first day cutting back and I came in at around 2,000 calories (even though I'm set to 1650). We had a dinner out planned so I had to go. There was nothing really safe on that menu but I tried to get their best thing, which came in at 1,000 calories anyway. Maybe not that high, but close. Today should be much better.

    You all are right about the treadmill and I just have to get on it when I'm crunched for time or it's raining hard (I actually don't mind going out and walking/jogging in a light mist or drizzle).

    As to my son, fortunately he does know how to cook somewhat--and he shows some interest to boot! But he took an internship that is, at best, a 1.5 hour commute in each direction (probably worse in the evenings once summer hits because we live directly of I-95 and the summer traffic is horrible. Anyway, he won't get home probably until 7PM each evening and then out the door the next morning at 6AM. So I don't think he'll be doing any cooking!! I'm just trying to think of healthy meals that I can double that would taste good about later in the evening. He loves casseroles but they are a killer calorie wise so we are officially OFF of those. I realize I can eat whatever a want as long as it fits in my day, but I rely on volume to get me through and when I can only have 1 cup of tuna casserole, it doesn't work for me.

    I've already started by crockpot turkey/pineapple chili for tomorrow. I get a lot of that for the calories and it satisfies me.

    Thanks everyone for the pep talk, it really is what I need!!
  • Poisonedpawn78
    Poisonedpawn78 Posts: 1,145 Member
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    CMNVA wrote: »
    As to my son, fortunately he does know how to cook somewhat--and he shows some interest to boot! But he took an internship that is, at best, a 1.5 hour commute in each direction (probably worse in the evenings once summer hits because we live directly of I-95 and the summer traffic is horrible. Anyway, he won't get home probably until 7PM each evening and then out the door the next morning at 6AM. So I don't think he'll be doing any cooking!!

    Please dont take this the wrong way, but you are over mothering your son. This is what i was referring to. Imagine for a moment that your son was living on his own and you were unable to cook his meals for him. what would he do at 7pm when he gets home from his job? Order a pizza or start cooking a healthy meal? What habit has been trained into him so far? seems like lots of eating out is the norm.

    It wouldnt hurt him to start cooking a meal or two on his own at 7pm a night to start building up that proper habit.
  • CMNVA
    CMNVA Posts: 733 Member
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    He cooks his own food when he is away and actually finds stuff on the internet that gives step by step instructions. Honestly, if I got home at 7PM and had to be in bed 2 hours later, I'd be eating eggs and toast!
  • EMC85083
    EMC85083 Posts: 16 Member
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    I started clean eating and MFP a week ago to get back down to where I should be again. I am in a similar situation because my husband is genetically blessed and can eat whatever he wants. He usually gets home later than I do too, so I make something for myself (and enough for him if he wants it, but he usually doesn't) for dinner before he gets home. That way whatever he ends up eating isn't as tempting for me. I can even make something else for him if I've already eaten. He also wants to go out to dinner all the time so I now look up the menu before we go and pre-log the food so I only stick to that. We've gone out twice since I started this and both times I've been able to find or request something I can eat. It isn't easy, but I haven't slipped once even though I've been tempted several times. I just keep telling myself nothing tastes as good as feeling and looking great. Best of luck!
  • roobella
    roobella Posts: 59 Member
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    Tiny_Dancer_in_Pink wrote: »
    Your daily weight loss goal is too much. You can eat more and still lose weight. Why make yourself miserable.

    https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&g=female&age=55&lbs=154&in=68&act=1.2&f=2

    Im gonna try this and recalculate. Might be part to play in my issue as well
  • bwogilvie
    bwogilvie Posts: 2,130 Member
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    I find that soups and vegetable stews are good bets for food that tastes great when you reheat it later, without being calorie bombs. I have several soup recipes that I make in big pots and then freeze one- or two-serving portions for my wife and I to eat when I don't have time to cook.

    Another idea is to make something relatively calorie-rich but start with a first course like a salad or a homemade gazpacho (go light on the olive oil) that will fill you up, then take a small portion of the main, and leave most of it for him. A ham steak or a baked chicken breast with salsa, along with some grilled, steamed, or roasted veggies and rice, is also good. Or make some kind of taco filling that you could have as a salad and that your son could reheat and put in a tortilla or two when he gets back?
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    edited June 2017
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    Here's a casserole that's not a calorie bomb:

    https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/10610/the-ultimate-makeover-moussaka

    You could make it with ground turkey. I make it with a vegetarian meat substitute.

    Have you ever had a look at the skinnytaste website? She has some casserole type meals that are tasty and lower calorie too.

    http://www.skinnytaste.com/
  • CMNVA
    CMNVA Posts: 733 Member
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    Thanks! Yes, I've been on skinnytaste many a time.
  • Nbaker0909
    Nbaker0909 Posts: 102 Member
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    Emily bites is another great website for healthier versions of comfort food type recipes. I've taken several to my parents house and they've loved them and asked for the recipes

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