Why do I feel this way?

I agree, who else do we meet on a daily basis, that we look at so closely as we do ourselves. I think the idea of having new photos of yourself is a good one. Put old and new side by side and you will see how well you are doing.

Goddess: I suggest that you take a few photos of yourself from the front and from behind. Then compare them to old photos. I think this will convince you that you're looking good and doing great.

Let your clothes be your guide. I don't look any different, even though I've lost 20lbs but my waistline has shrunk so my clothes are telling me the weight is going. Sounds like your clothes are doing the same.

I can relate with you to a degree... I have lost 60lbs and i am still in denial of the loss even though everyone who sees me tells me how fabulous I look and asks about my weight loss. Yet I am still wearing the same clothes with a spanx tank top under my shirts to hold up my pants even then I am in denial of the weight loss?? I went out and bought a new pair of pants and still bought them bigger than I actually am. I started taking transformation pics so that I can actually see my progress and it is starting to sink in but I am still in denial on what size clothes I actually take, it is so weird. I had absolutely no problem with confidence or self esteem being 260lbs as my happiness never revolved around the size of my body. I was a tight size 18 bathing suit last summer, walked into the store and bought the first bathing suit I tried on and rocked it all summer long... this year I am a comfortable 12/14 and have tried on over a dozen bathing suits and can not find one I actually like on me?? For me, I think I had a vision of what a 60lb weight loss would look like on me and well I couldn't have been anymore wrong in that vision. I still have 30-35lb to lose and I imagine at some point it will have to sink in but right now I am sailing on in denial. As long as I am healthy and fit I could care less what my body looks like.

I do agree with everher that if you don't love yourself now, it won't matter how much weight you lose you are not going to suddenly love yourself. I would focus on loving yourself first because your "at goal" weight isn't going to look like you think it should look and at some point in your life you need to be able to love the perfectly imperfect reflection in the mirror. Good luck!

I second BZAH10's advice to "get rid of the negative self-talk and thoughts completely." Sounds simple, but easier said than done. I found that meditation and developing a 'mindfulness' practice has helped immensely. I would recommend this as a starting point, and if that isn't enough maybe talk to a professional (which has helped as well).

I didn't have any pictures before I lost a lot of weight, so when I start to feel really fat and ugly, I go to the clothing store and pick up a pair of jeans in the size I wore at my biggest (18) and my current size (8) and hold them up against each other to see the difference in the size. It's a good visual reminder of how much I've lost, even though I still feel like I look just as fat as ever.

Goddess0921 wrote: »

Thank you, all of you, truly and deeply. No, I haven't really taken many photos...before or recently. I do have a couple from prior to my weight loss that I can use as a "before", so I will do as most of you have recommended and take a few current photos and compare.

I know that weight loss will not bring self-love...I guess I at least thought it might bring self-like...unfortunately, that's not the case. And, I have no idea where to start to feel those things. I'm a work in progress and I'll just keep working. :-)

We all have to start somewhere. I had low self esteem for a lot of my life. There's books and things (as much as I hate self help books they are at times helpful).

What I did, as cheesy as this sounds, is I would stand in front of a mirror once a day where I could see myself and I would I tell myself that I loved me. It was a concept I picked up someplace or other that if you say something enough you start to believe it. I would look at the good things about myself instead of pointing out the negative. For instance, instead of focusing on my thighs that I hate I would notice how nice my smile was or how pretty my hair was.

I also made a list of all the things I liked about myself (not physical characteristics, but actual character traits) and I made myself look at it a lot. It must've taken me weeks to actually compile the list because when you are negative about yourself these types of things don't come to you quickly, but actually making myself think about the good in me and the things I liked about myself helped me to appreciate who I am and love myself.