How do you react to people who have not seen you in awhile and freak out?

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JustRobby1
JustRobby1 Posts: 674 Member
in Motivation and Support
I live in Chicago, but my family is back home in Missouri. They have always known me as a big dude, as I have been heavy for nearly all of my adult life. I had to head back home last weekend to attend a wedding and people mobbed me at the reception (large, Irish Catholic family). My female aunts were attacking me as if I held the Rosetta Stone for weight loss and asking me what my secret was. Some of my more unsavory cousins were more curious about how many skirts I was currently chasing in the big city. The whole night was, in a word, weird.

The attention for positive change was certianly cool at first, but also more than a bit overwhelming. I am still "just me" after all. I am not sure how quickly I wish to return to another large family function as a result of those interactions.

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  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Smile and nod and change the subject....
  • WeAreTheMassacre
    WeAreTheMassacre Posts: 49 Member
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    My male and female friends would constantly find excuses to grab me at first. Older relatives tended to tell me I was too skinny but I still had a lot of fat to shed in my gut. Was kinda depressing to be seen as "too skinny" rather than "dang he looks good!", but I didn't mind the female friends grabbing my arms and shoulders in a totally non subtle manner! Even my gym rat friends would jokingly punch me but they were definitely trying to guage how much muscle I had; trust me these were awkward punches with slow brushing involved lol. I Won't miss all the uncomfortable butt slaps. All in all I liked the attention, it was my first time experiencing confidence, but it made it suck more once I gained most weight back and had to endure comments that I must be depressed or drinking too much. My gym buddies couldn't handle the fact that I found joy in more stationary hobbies, good food and beer and not stressing about healthy foods and lifting weight. Pretty much I learned that once you have a drastic body transformation, people will either see you as skinny or fat, never just "normal"
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
    edited June 2017
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    Don't worry, it won't last long...pretty soon you'll just be normal the way you are. In a weird way I kinda miss the days of friends and family I hadn't seen in a long time take notice and comment like that...a bit over 4 years later, I don't get that anymore because everyone is used to this now.
  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
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    Every once in awhile I'll run into someone from hs (graduated 19 years ago). I look COMPLETELY different (and MUCH better). I was a chubby kid. People will have a shocked look, then say something like, "wow, you look great." I just reply with, "oh yeah, thanks."

    It is kind of awkward, b/c everyone (for the most part) has gained weight and not aged well. I usually then say something like, "what do you do now?" So I can change the subject.
  • ErikaHope203
    ErikaHope203 Posts: 113 Member
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    I can understand how uncomfortable and awkward those interactions that can be. I get really weird when people make a big fuss when they see I've lost weight and start asking me a million questions about how I did it, how many pounds I've lost or how many sizes I've gone down. They tend to ask me what my "secret" is and I tell them I don't have one, just eating less and trying to move more lol
  • mom2kateRH
    mom2kateRH Posts: 178 Member
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    I work in healthcare, and a lot of my friends/acquaintances are RNs. I get a lot of, " you've lost a lot of weight. Intentionally?" I just reassure them I don't have cancer.

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