Motivation: relationship?

everstrong55
everstrong55 Posts: 56 Member
edited November 19 in Motivation and Support
Is your motivation about relationship? You want to build a better shape so as to get someone's love? Have you make it?

Replies

  • tabletop_joe
    tabletop_joe Posts: 455 Member
    Like RiRi said:


  • nancybuss
    nancybuss Posts: 1,461 Member
    No. My motivation is healthy and longer life - which can be Hard to do because its not something we "see" daily. My husband doesn't really care if I workout daily or gain 10 pounds.
    I want to be around as long as possible for my kids. That's my goal.

    It has to be something for YOU doing this "to get someones eye" means they are not just seeing the 'real you'. you want someone to fall for what is on the inside.
    Good luck on your journey
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    No...mostly health and wellness...some vanity in there as well.
  • gamerbabe14
    gamerbabe14 Posts: 876 Member
    Nope but he doesn't seem upset about my loss.
  • midlomel1971
    midlomel1971 Posts: 1,283 Member
    You are not going to succeed if you want to lose weight just to find a girlfriend/boyfriend. You have to do it for YOU first. Just my humble opinion.
  • JustRobby1
    JustRobby1 Posts: 674 Member
    edited June 2017
    While I can certianly understand those who tout the goal of a healthier lifestyle and all it's obvious health benefits, I would be lying if I said that I do not REALLY enjoy the increased attention I get from females and my more active dating life. To be 100% honest, this has been a behind the scenes motivational force for me all along.

    For that matter, it still serves as motivation to me now. I can see an extremely hot girl at the gym who I feel is out of my league, but might be attainable if I continue to work hard. Then I lay back down on the bench and grind out another set. While this is not the most commendable of thought processes by social norms, it is 100% the truth for me, and I suspect many other guys out there feel the same way I do if they were truly being honest.
  • ValkyrieOnline
    ValkyrieOnline Posts: 160 Member
    I have terrible insecurities due to the sole fact that I am obese. I am currently working on my weight loss for the bajillionth time, and while I have found someone on a dating app that I am going to meet in person later this week, it makes me want to do better so I can feel attractive to myself AND to feel like a hot piece of arm candy B)
    I want to look good for both me and the other person, but your health and how you feel overall about it definitely trumps anyone else's feelings/how they think you should look. Hope that gave you some answers, God forbid I step on anyones toes! haha!! :)
  • scarlett_k
    scarlett_k Posts: 812 Member
    I'll run the risk of souding corny here and say 'yes' because I'm trying to get my own love for myself!
  • everstrong55
    everstrong55 Posts: 56 Member
    nancybuss wrote: »
    No. My motivation is healthy and longer life - which can be Hard to do because its not something we "see" daily. My husband doesn't really care if I workout daily or gain 10 pounds.
    I want to be around as long as possible for my kids. That's my goal.

    It has to be something for YOU doing this "to get someones eye" means they are not just seeing the 'real you'. you want someone to fall for what is on the inside.
    Good luck on your journey

    Quite agree with you. Your motivation is great.
  • everstrong55
    everstrong55 Posts: 56 Member
    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    everstrong55 wrote: »
    Is your motivation about relationship? You want to build a better shape so as to get someone's love? Have you make it?

    My main motivation is for myself. I don't want to be self-conscious anymore and I want to be hot for myself.

    But of course I also want to be hot for my husband. I want him to think that he has a really attractive wife, and that's part of the reason that he works out as well - he wants to be attractive for me. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But the love was already there between us.

    If your relationship is only based on looks then it probably won't be long-lasting.

    So great a couple will be.
  • everstrong55
    everstrong55 Posts: 56 Member
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    Goodness no. I never had any problem dating, even when I weighed 300 pounds.

    You can't convince someone to love you...and if you have to do so, s/he probably isn't worth it anyhow.

    My motivation is deal with severe health issues and to live the happiest life possible. Taking care of myself feels good--looking better is just a side benefit.

    Yea, he isn't worth it. My friend’s ex is an *kitten* who became indifferent to her and messed with other girls when she got fat.
  • everstrong55
    everstrong55 Posts: 56 Member
    AngelaOStrong wrote: »
    I have terrible insecurities due to the sole fact that I am obese. I am currently working on my weight loss for the bajillionth time, and while I have found someone on a dating app that I am going to meet in person later this week, it makes me want to do better so I can feel attractive to myself AND to feel like a hot piece of arm candy B)
    I want to look good for both me and the other person, but your health and how you feel overall about it definitely trumps anyone else's feelings/how they think you should look. Hope that gave you some answers, God forbid I step on anyones toes! haha!! :)

    You feel good about yourself and others can feel it, too. Thank you for you answer.
  • everstrong55
    everstrong55 Posts: 56 Member
    scarlett_k wrote: »
    I'll run the risk of souding corny here and say 'yes' because I'm trying to get my own love for myself!

    Go and find a better self!
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    I won't deny that being more attractive to the opposite sex isn't part of my motivation, but, after watching my mom's health fail and knowing she will die before her time due to issues related to obesity, it's not the largest part of my motivation.
  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
    When I was younger and overweight, I was told that I "couldn't get a boyfriend unless I lost weight." That obviously stuck in my head.

    I lost the weight, b/c I knew I wouldn't be able to live the life I wanted if I was overweight. I wanted to be active. My motivation was more complex than losing to "get a boyfriend," but that was probably a small piece. BTW, my husband's "ideal" size for a woman is a 12+ at 5'3. I didn't need to be a size 4 to get him. He doesn't care that I am a size 4 though.
  • tlee278
    tlee278 Posts: 35 Member
    This journey is for me and my health. I can't stand feeling blah all the time and wanted a chance to have more energy.
    If someone is checking me out, that's just an added bonus!
  • everstrong55
    everstrong55 Posts: 56 Member
    jennifer_417 wrote: »
    I won't deny that being more attractive to the opposite sex isn't part of my motivation, but, after watching my mom's health fail and knowing she will die before her time due to issues related to obesity, it's not the largest part of my motivation.

    Always, health is the most important part!
  • everstrong55
    everstrong55 Posts: 56 Member
    deputy_randolph wrote: »
    When I was younger and overweight, I was told that I "couldn't get a boyfriend unless I lost weight." That obviously stuck in my head.

    I lost the weight, b/c I knew I wouldn't be able to live the life I wanted if I was overweight. I wanted to be active. My motivation was more complex than losing to "get a boyfriend," but that was probably a small piece. BTW, my husband's "ideal" size for a woman is a 12+ at 5'3. I didn't need to be a size 4 to get him. He doesn't care that I am a size 4 though.

    When you get lighter weight, you feel happy and active.
  • everstrong55
    everstrong55 Posts: 56 Member
    tlee278 wrote: »
    This journey is for me and my health. I can't stand feeling blah all the time and wanted a chance to have more energy.
    If someone is checking me out, that's just an added bonus!

    Good. This journey is to find a better self.
  • Geocitiesuser
    Geocitiesuser Posts: 1,429 Member
    Lost close to 135lbs. Best shape of my life. Still can't get a reply on the personals. Been single for years and wanting to meet someone for a relationship again was a key motivating force. Apparently you can't fix ugly. So now I soul search for different reasons to stay the right course.
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