Break up

I just went through a break up a couple months ago and lately I haven't had motivation to do anything. I was wondering how I could get back on track and start loving and focusing on myself. Any advice would be appreciated!! Thanks :)


  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
    Time is the biggest thing that helps. Since time goes at it's own pace and there's not much you can do about that. Do something for you, revisit things that you used to like to do that you may have gotten away from. (for me this is art, volleyball and working out) Try something new everyday, no matter how small, a new spice, new restaurant, new sport, new class, new hobby, music lesson, etc. You will meet new people, get you out of your comfort zone and you may find something new that you like. Surround yourself with supportive people who make you laugh and feel good. Meditate and breathe and get outdoors. Keep trying.

    I've been divorced for about 8 years but I remember how hard it was to seperate myself from him and those emotions. And ultimately it did just take time. Ben and Jerry's ice cream was my friend a lot of nights but I got through it and am stronger because of my struggles.
  • sarahganzevoort20
    sarahganzevoort20 Posts: 12 Member
    wow thank you all so much!! this really helped me.
  • sisxena
    sisxena Posts: 47 Member
    You are doing this for you!!!
    Find an exercise and use it as an outlet or even as relaxation.
    Try to fill in the time you spent together with things to strengthen you physically and spiritually.

    start small and than built up from there.
  • Makkar86
    Makkar86 Posts: 131 Member
    I hope u see urself in a mirror daily.. coz that's the person who's gonna keep u motivated & beautiful for ever
    Feel free to add if u wish....
  • ValkyrieOnline
    ValkyrieOnline Posts: 160 Member
    I ended up gaining more weight after the breakup and it took me months but I am on to the next guy! hah :) I learned to let no one be able to take my happiness/reasons why I do stuff from me anymore. It is their loss! Easier said than done, but in some strange way I enjoyed the breakup process because I had to build myself back up and now I am stronger then ever! Good luck <3<3
  • glasstacular
    glasstacular Posts: 56 Member
    I'm one month into the single life again after a 7 year commitment. I took it particularly hard, but found that hitting the gym despite how I felt always made me feel better. On those days where I had zero ambition to do anything, I never regretted getting to the gym.
  • cmdipa97
    cmdipa97 Posts: 10 Member
    I'm basically in the same boat as you, despite it being a few months. Let me know if you need anything, or if you want an ear to vent to, since we're both sort of in the same boat.
  • ChaleGirl
    ChaleGirl Posts: 270 Member
    I was/am in the same boat! I just wanted to sleep and felt so rubbish, but you've just got to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. There will always be good and bad days as you're trying to get over everything but the best thing you can do for yourself is to work out and look good and feel good. I kept saying to myself am I really going to ruin my health over a man, nahhhhhh it's not going to happen! Hope you feel better soon, break ups are horrible!!x
  • ElleHeart22
    ElleHeart22 Posts: 27 Member
    Break ups are the worst girl, I'm so sorry. I started my journey about 2 months ago now. When I first began I started with little steps.

    The first one was no sweets. Now I know, some people prefer to be able to work sweets into their diet and that's totally fine if that's what works for them, but I find that if I eat sugar, I crave it a whole lot more. So I did that for a week, and haven't had them for 2 months.

    The next thing I started was switching out foods that I ate for healthier options. I didn't go crazy with this, I just started small like, instead of sour cream, Greek yogurt, or instead of toast with almond butter, rice cakes with almond butter. I didn't even worry about portions during this just so I could start loving the food without feeling like I was starving.

    Then I started making my portions smaller. It was hard for a little bit but got a lot better a lot quicker since the food I was eating was keeping me for longer.

    After all this I started calorie counting and I have had no trouble staying on track. 1,300 calories a day is really hard in some ways, but I found the adjustment easier since I eased into it. I didn't concentrate on exercise until I started lifting weights and running in the past two weeks. I found that exercising right away as soon as I started the calorie counting put me into starvation mode because my muscles were crying out. Since I'm used to the calorie intake now, my muscles are doing fine and I'm loving the feeling of exercising. I've lost 15 pounds which is right on schedule. I'm not saying there haven't been hard days, but if you tough it out and keep going, the next day can be a whole lot better.

    Anyway, this was a long story and I'm so sorry lol. It might not work for other people, but it's working for me. I'm no nutritionist or doctor obviously, but I hope you can glean some good stuff from this.

  • court_alacarte
    court_alacarte Posts: 219 Member
    Been there before and it is hard. After breaking up with my most recent ex, I allowed myself to feel the self-pity, disappointment, and failure for a bit (we did a long-distance engagement thing and it was all a big mess) until it was like I was hit with a ton of bricks: I AM SINGLE AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! THIS IS GREAT!

    Granted, my relationship was toxic and so the breakup was a good thing. I am unaware of the details of yours but it's okay to feel sad about it. Take the time for you to organically find your motivation and confidence, and yourself, again. And then it'll feel like you can conquer the world! I've golfed since i was in high school, and when I dated my ex for over three years, I never picked up a club, because of course he wasn't a golfer. But after the fact, I got back into it, and it really helped me connect with a new-found confidence (especially when I would beat my male coworkers :D ).

    During another low time for me, I moved back in with my parents and they allowed me to piggyback on their workout sessions with a personal trainer. While working with the PT, I was the strongest I ever was in my life, and that was definitely a confidence-boost that I never thought I would feel. You might surprise yourself where you might find it :)

    Time is your best friend. It will all be okay.
  • conseanery
    conseanery Posts: 15 Member
    I just went through a break up a couple months ago and lately I haven't had motivation to do anything. I was wondering how I could get back on track and start loving and focusing on myself. Any advice would be appreciated!! Thanks :)

    Everything develops into a habit, even fitness or diet. When I started getting into fitness it was really hard to get motivated except to grind through it. Eventually, it becomes a habit and a necessity. I had the worst time craving really bad food - but after 3 months of being dedicated I don't even miss it. Get started and give it some time.