Pretty new here - just looking for support and friends to struggle with

DodieAnnB
DodieAnnB Posts: 7 Member
edited November 19 in Introduce Yourself
I put on here my goal is 150lbs...so it says I need to lose like 79 more pounds. My ideal weight is somewhere inbetween 120-130. Not sure that I will ever make it there but here I am trying. I currently (as of friday) weigh 229lbs. I started at 252. I really didn't start this journey to lose weight - it started as a couple stomach ulcers (new). I had to find some way to tame my stomach. Acid reflux tearing me up, ulcers hurting, ended up in the er to get help with the pain. I have now somewhat controlled it but in the process have started to lose weight (yay!)

I have tried for years to lose weight and have been unsuccessful. I have been on every diet out there. I have taken a mountain of pills and fixes. Nothing works if you quit taking the "product". I dont want to live my life on a "product". So I finally quit trying. My husband says I am beautiful no matter what size I wear. Well problem with that is...I don't accept that. I look in the mirror and see an ogre. A very large one at that (lol). I see someone who's body has just merged with other parts. Some parts you cannot tell where one starts and the other ends. I hate that. I try to wear the biggest clothes possible to try and hide what I dont want to see (and I want to hide from others). I have lost my sense of fashion completely. Nothing looks nice.

So as I said before, here I am, trying again. No I am not on a diet (those dont work). I am just trying to watch the kind of foods I eat and the portions. I feel like I have to be double cautious - for my ulcers - and for the fact I have hypothyroidism. It seems my body is fighting against me all the way. BUT I have come here to flush away all the battles I have lost and win the WAR.

Replies

  • LifeinReboot2018
    LifeinReboot2018 Posts: 28 Member
    Been there with about double your highest weight. I am so glad that you have an upbeat attitude as it's a long hard process. You have won half the battle with your positive outlook on life. I for the first time in my life am not morbidly obese and it's taking time for my mind to catch up. I should have worked on that too. The size you are does not make you an ogre and bless your husband for recognizing that. The hardest part is for you to see that now. Having lost almost 300 pounds I flinch when people notice me and shy away from touch. So let's work on that together. I would love to finally accept myself as beautiful and you my dear will hopefully do the same. Until I start loving myself fully and not worrying about what people see I will stay here. By the way I still buy larger clothes to hide under so don't worry we will get past that and you quite definitely not alone. Now smile and have a good afternoon!
  • Lynnara
    Lynnara Posts: 152 Member
    edited June 2017
    Welcome. Seems our starting weight and goal weight are similar, and I swear we must be married to the same man. You can do this, baby steps.


    Ed for grammar
  • 2fabulous2Bunfit
    2fabulous2Bunfit Posts: 47 Member
    Hello there! You sound really discouraged but what I read it you lost about 25 lbs already! Add me as a friend and we can stay motivated together!
  • majackson4
    majackson4 Posts: 6 Member
    Hi, losing twenty five pounds is a great way to start to win the war. One day at a time is always good to do and I like how you say that you are not on a diet - just watching the foods you eat and the portions. That is a big key to losing weight. keep on the journey.
  • MidnightMinstrel
    MidnightMinstrel Posts: 7 Member
    I can empathise a little, I also have health problems and mental health issues related to my appearance. Self loathing is a horrible thing to learn to live with. I have just rejoined and would love some new friends to provide support but also to help me stay on track this time. Please add me if you wish. All the very best x
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