Unsure where to go from here.

momofamadhouse
momofamadhouse Posts: 197 Member
edited November 19 in Health and Weight Loss
Hey you guys. I'm 5'7.5" and 165. I've lost a pretty significant chunk (112 pounds) in the last 18 months. I'm still about 20 pounds from my "goal" weight and just still just slightly above a healthy BMI. The last few months my progress has slowed to a bumpy crawl due mostly to my losing focus in consistently logging and exercising. I've done mostly cardio (running, spinning, Zumba etc), but I also do kettlebell workouts 2-3 times a week and yoga almost daily.
I feel...disillusioned (?) with my body/results. It feels like I'm wearing a skin suit too big for that I can't take off. And the fat deposits that remain are much more noticeable and irritate me far more than when I was pushing 300 pounds. Not to mention it feels like there's so much room in the 'skin suit' that the fat just flops all over the place instead of just staying put. My next fitness assessment is in two weeks, so I'll find out more about my BF% then. I'm just kind of stuck in my head. Should I stay in a deficit to lose the last 20 or 30 pounds of fat? Do I need to start thinking about recomp now? How do I come to terms with the skin suit? It's hard to admit how discouraged I am because I'm proud of the progress I've made and I knew going in that being morbidly obese for over a decade (and four pregnancies) would take it's toll on my skin, I always expected the sag but I didn't realize how much it would frustrate me when I got to this point.
These mental hurdles are absolutely stalling my progress. I've always been a stress eater and it's a battle I have fought every step of the way on this journey. For about two months I completely ignored trying to lose and by sheer luck I maintained a steady weight during that time, can't take credit for it at all.
If anyone has any insight or advice, please advise me. I hope I've articulated the issues I'm having clearly, but my state of mind is confusing to me so I wouldn't be surprise if none of what I've said makes sense.

Replies

  • msdemeanor70
    msdemeanor70 Posts: 66 Member
    Congratulations on what you've done so far! That is awesome. I'm 5'3". Though I've only lost 50 pounds, I also started seeing sagging skin - arms, very upper thighs and middle back. So, I decided to stop losing once I hit 135. My maintenance is 135-140. For ME personally, I would rather hold onto the extra 15-20 pounds and minimize the loose skin. Am I always thrilled? No, but when I am having a body image struggle, it is typically the loose skin that I'm cursing not the extra weight. I've been working on toning and whatnot which has made a difference over the last two years, but you can only do so much. Who knows, maybe down the road, I'll try and drop a few more pounds, but for now, it's weight over sag for me.
  • Seffell
    Seffell Posts: 2,244 Member
    Nice loss!

    About the disillusionment - I'm your height and my starting weight was 166lbs in Feb 2016. I looked almost the same as you, i.e. you just have lots more to lose. I'm 136lbs now and need to lose 10lbs more to get to my original weight from 4 years ago.

    Just keep losing and do as much lifting as you can (up to the optimal amount of course).
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
    The belly and thighs are, for most people, the first place that excess weight appears and last place the weight comes off. You've come a long way in your marathon. You'll soon cross the finish line. Take a mental break and then carry on.

    How much saggy skin you'll be left with at the end is a product of time and genetics. But even if it's never perfect, think instead of how much you've improved your health and longevity by accomplishing what you have. :)
  • momofamadhouse
    momofamadhouse Posts: 197 Member
    Thank you all for the replies and encouragement. When you start off so heavy it takes a while to actually see a change (the first time I really saw one was after I had hit -40#) and at this point, I don't have nearly as much left to lose so it's hard to see how 20 more would make much difference. I'll probably change my goals from -2# a week to .5 or 1 and get used to expecting slower results.
    Thanks for the reminder about lifting. I'm downloading SL to start this week and maybe focusing on building strength and maintaining muscle mass will distract me and get me out of my head for a while.
    Even if my skin doesn't bounce back I'm sure it's something I'll eventually accept. I'll definitely take being healthy with looser skin over not being able to catch my kids when they take off running
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    Loose skin is a thing. I hate mine too.... I know that whatever is going to tighten up will do so in 2 years (according to my doctor) and whatever is left at that point we are stuck with. The older you are in general the less it snaps back. I pick workout clothes that keep that stuff under wraps to prevent chafing and other annoyances. Like capri yoga pants rather than shorts, and short sleeved rather than sleeveless tops. Much less annoying when your clothes hold onto it for you IMHO.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    momofamadhouse wrote: »
    Thank you all for the replies and encouragement. When you start off so heavy it takes a while to actually see a change (the first time I really saw one was after I had hit -40#) and at this point, I don't have nearly as much left to lose so it's hard to see how 20 more would make much difference. I'll probably change my goals from -2# a week to .5 or 1 and get used to expecting slower results.
    Thanks for the reminder about lifting. I'm downloading SL to start this week and maybe focusing on building strength and maintaining muscle mass will distract me and get me out of my head for a while.
    Even if my skin doesn't bounce back I'm sure it's something I'll eventually accept. I'll definitely take being healthy with looser skin over not being able to catch my kids when they take off running

    to give some perspective on what 20lbs will do.

    At 165 (almost same height as you) I was in a size 10. 15lbs less...size 6...5lbs more size 4.

    I can look at myself in the mirror and gauge what I weigh based on a small part of my belly...if there is "hang" or if htere is skin drape.
  • Seffell
    Seffell Posts: 2,244 Member
    momofamadhouse wrote: »
    I'll probably change my goals from -2# a week to .5 or 1 and get used to expecting slower results.

    Yes definitely reduce it from 2lbs. 1lbs seems appropriate. I've lost my 30lbs mostly at 0.75lbs/week. It takes a while but it's a gradual transition into maintanance itself because you'll be eating almost the same calories as for maintanance.
  • carterbrent
    carterbrent Posts: 91 Member
    I swear by wearing shapewear... I am about 60 to 70 pounds overweight. I will probably get a tummy tuck once I lose the weight. But I think you look great. What ever you do, don't give up!
  • everher
    everher Posts: 909 Member
    You look amazing!!! And congratulations on your weight loss! You are nearly half the person you were before.

    Now as to your concerns I agree with everyone that losing the rest of the weight you want to lose as well as strength training will make a difference. Skin does tighten up some even after the losing process is done so it may tighten up a bit more.

    I'm 32 lbs from my goal, 17 lbs from a healthy BMI, and I feel like I can see a difference in the areas that were bothering me everyday. I also started doing some strength training which I believe is helping.
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,093 Member
    momofamadhouse wrote: »
    Thank you all for the replies and encouragement. When you start off so heavy it takes a while to actually see a change (the first time I really saw one was after I had hit -40#) and at this point, I don't have nearly as much left to lose so it's hard to see how 20 more would make much difference. I'll probably change my goals from -2# a week to .5 or 1 and get used to expecting slower results.
    Thanks for the reminder about lifting. I'm downloading SL to start this week and maybe focusing on building strength and maintaining muscle mass will distract me and get me out of my head for a while.
    Even if my skin doesn't bounce back I'm sure it's something I'll eventually accept. I'll definitely take being healthy with looser skin over not being able to catch my kids when they take off running

    At your start weight ("pushing 300"), 40 lbs was about 13% of your weight. At your current weight (165 lbs), 20 lbs is about 12% of your weight. I would expect the next 20 lbs to be as noticeable as the first 40. Also, we're not always the best judges of our own size and shape. The fact that you feel worse about the way you look now is evidence of that.
  • Goober1142
    Goober1142 Posts: 219 Member
    You look fantastic! Great job, cut yourself a break.
  • ILoveGingerNut
    ILoveGingerNut Posts: 367 Member
    I think you look great
  • Sara2652
    Sara2652 Posts: 158 Member
    edited June 2017
    Wow, you're results from the pictures look great! Congrats!

    About taking a break, I was reading somewhere about it and how it can be really helpful. Maybe take a little break -2 weeks/months- to just maintain. I think its good to keep tracking and doing things that you need to do to maintain but just taking a break from the intensity you'd need to lose. I also wonder if taking a break allows your body some extra energy to 'repair' the skin.

    If once you do get to your comfortable/livable weight and the skin is still an issue get surgery. Start talking to your doctor now about it if you are experiencing chaffing, discomfort or infections in the folds so that when/if you choose surgery you will have something to show the insurance company.

    I started at 230lbs with the goal of losing around 100 total but I plan on taking 2 months off when I get to 180lbs and then again at 145lbs. At 145lbs I will assess what would be a livable and comfortable body to see if I even want to go lower. I will likely need surgery as my breast have always given me trouble from their size to saggy-ness, they appeared over night and immediately headed south. Also my stomach flap has folded over and the lack of breathability is uncomfortable so imagine it will not get much better with weight loss.

    Keep up the good work and know that what you have accomplished so far is great.
  • MJ2victory
    MJ2victory Posts: 97 Member
    I am worried about your focus on the way you look. Have you entered therapy? Losing that much weight has huge mental implications and without a trained professional, you may run into trouble. For what it's worth, your body is beautiful. It saddens me you can't see that. I really think you should look for a therapist who can guide you through accepting your new size and learning to love the new you.
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
    Also, as to your dieting issues, another great thread you might want to read:

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10481830/the-diet-break/p1
  • monstar4kc
    monstar4kc Posts: 30 Member
    momofamadhouse wrote: »
    Should I stay in a deficit to lose the last 20 or 30 pounds of fat? Do I need to start thinking about recomp now? How do I come to terms with the skin suit?

    First off, congrats on your progress. You have come a LONG way. It's easy to put weight on but much harder to get it off and keep it off. You are 20# to your goal so my suggestion would be to continue at your current deficit if you still have 20-30 lbs to lose. Unfortunately you either need to tighten up your logging, be more active (such as increasing your workout times) or maybe a little bit of both if you want to see that scale move. Once you get down to your last 20# , I would reduce the deficit to 1 or 1.5 lbs a week. You'll get 250-500 calories more if you don't change anything in your diet and activity level but it's important to continue eating the same things. Don't go crazy thinking you have more calories to play with and reach for sugar and processed foods. Just add an apple or a handful of nuts to your day. Increase calories slowly. I think increasing by 100 calories every day for 3 days works best until you reach your caloric goal. Once you get down to your last 10#, I would decrease your deficit to either 0.5 or 1 lb a week. I set myself to a 1 lb weekly loss when I got down to my last 10#. I set that deficit to make up for 2 things: 1) to account for an under-estimation in my food intake or lack thereof and 2) to account for an overestimation of calories burned on my Fitbit. I have been up and down on the scale the same 3-4 lbs these last 2 months so even with a deficit, weight loss has definitely slowed. I went from 160# in January to 128# today so I am almost to my 125# goal. Once you do get to your goal weight, try and maintain that weight for 2-3 weeks before increasing your calories to maintenance. This will help avoid weight gain. After that, you can start thinking about recomposition which will (at some point) make you gain weight since you'll be adding muscle and increasing calorie intake to build that muscle. As for the "skin suit" you speak of, I wouldn't worry about it so much. It takes time for elasticity to spring back. Plus, I think you look great! Work on building muscle and lifting heavy weights after your weight loss journey and I bet your "skin suit" will start feeling like it's sucking in you in more than just hanging about. Be patient and give it time. All your hard work will pay off. Trust me.

  • joevai
    joevai Posts: 2 Member
    Congrats on your weight loss. I am also 5'7" and weighed 285. I got down to 160 about 6 months ago (took about 2 years) and decided to stay there for a while. It's a big change and takes a while to get used to your new body. I fiddled around with maintenance until I found what worked for me. After a few months had passed I was ready to get rid of that last 15 pounds and so have started back on a reducing program again. Sagging skin? I'm 68 and my skin is not as elastic as it once was, so yes there's sagging skin but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Looking at your pictures I agree with the other posters: You look great. (Aren't you so glad you took that "before" picture!) Youth is your friend - lifting will help (I also do weights). Take a break if you need a breather but from experience I can tell you it's difficult to get started again. And remember, it can be harder to lose those last few pounds because your calorie requirements are so much less. Don't get discouraged - you've done something most people wouldn't do. My bet is that we'll both be at our goal before summer ends!


















  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,053 Member
    Another voice weighing in to say IMHO you look great and, from the pics, your skin does, too. Congrats on your fantastic accomplishment. Ditto on considering a full diet break. It will give you a chance to reframe your goals and expectations for the last 20. It's a good idea to approach it at 1/2 lb per week. It will help you transition to maintenance as well. I hope your outlook lifts soon. You have come so far!
  • 150poundsofme
    150poundsofme Posts: 523 Member
    You are beautiful. Congrats and very proud of you for what you have accomplished. You may have excess skin but you are so much healthier now. You rock!
  • buffalogal42
    buffalogal42 Posts: 374 Member
    Our before and after pics wouldn't be that dissimilar. I am 5'9 and started at 284 ... down to 171 now. My next goal is 150-155. I have started to get slightly discouraged by my saggy belly and arm skin. (I have been lifting and have lost slowly over two years). But I am going to keep going to see what 20 more pounds does and continue to focus on how great I look in clothes now ... and how much healthier I am. You look great - and any "issues" are probably more because we are so hard on ourselves compared to how others see us. Be proud of your new body!!!
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,225 Member
    One thought about loose skin, though only you'd know whether it may apply in your case.

    You've certainly figured out that we don't necessarily lose fat in neat layers starting on the outside and progressing steadily inward. It can deplete pretty much anywhere within the fat mass, so the fat areas initially may get squishier and saggier (like a water balloon slightly filled with water (and no air) vs. one that's firmly full of water).

    Eventually, as we lose more fat, the "balloon" deflates more completely. Once the squishy-fat mass is no longer conspiring with gravity to pull the skin downward, that skin is likely to be more able to shrink.

    If you think about it, actual skin is pretty thin, like the skin you can pinch up on a non-fatty place like the back of your hand. Loose skin makes small wrinkles, like a medium weight fabric such as denim or light corduroy. Thicker folds, like 1/2-1 inch or more, possibly still have some subcutaneous fat.

    Losing the rest of the way to your goal weight really may help. Even at goal weight, recomposition (staying at goal weight but adding more muscle while losing a bit more fat) can continue the process. (I'm not, of course, advocating obsessive dieting to lose every last fat molecule, just suggesting that you may see further positive changes on your current healthy course).

    Even at age 60-61, I've seen pretty good shrink-back of my actual loose skin (the thin-wrinkles stuff) over my first year (plus a little) in maintenance, without much attention to recomp. I hope you'll be surprised by some positive results, too, as you continue on your course (maybe after that bit of a diet break ;) ).
  • ILoveGingerNut
    ILoveGingerNut Posts: 367 Member
    you look great!
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    MJ2victory wrote: »
    I am worried about your focus on the way you look. Have you entered therapy? Losing that much weight has huge mental implications and without a trained professional, you may run into trouble. For what it's worth, your body is beautiful. It saddens me you can't see that. I really think you should look for a therapist who can guide you through accepting your new size and learning to love the new you.

    are you kidding me?

    we are all concerned with how we look...why is there always one post that basically says "you need therapy" jeez.
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