Newfound anxiety

jbirdy76
jbirdy76 Posts: 161 Member
edited July 2017 in Motivation and Support
I am a 41 year old woman with a whole lifetime of happy experiences. I have struggled with my weight and body image most of my adult life, but just recently gained a significant amount of weight in a short period of time. I am dreading social situations, I never remember it being this overwhelming before. I have to have these mental pep talks with myself to get me out enjoying activities. Today it is an extended family reunion, I am a wreck inside I never even felt like this as a teenager. I have beautiful children, loving aunt's, uncle's, cousins and enjoy seeing and visiting everyone but I am avoiding even getting dressed. Boo!! Wish I could just pull on a tshirt and pair of jeans and head out the door hate that it is such an issue in my heart and head. I haven't even wore a pair of jeans in months. I hate that this has become such a mental battle for me. Don't get me wrong I am working hard on getting my health back under control, but the head games with myself are killing me right now. Anyone else go through this as they were going through lifestyle changes?

Replies

  • Vintage0450
    Vintage0450 Posts: 5 Member
    edited July 2017
    Hi, jbirdy76

    I know how you feel. I gained about 70 pounds and began hating going to anything that was a social event. I dreaded getting dressed and became a professional camera dodger! So far, I have lost 10 pounds.

    I have a ways to go, but here are things I have found help me as I'm working toward losing the added weight:

    1) Buy some cloths that fit comfortably and are beautiful instead of trying to squeeze into something you have, and do your hair and makeup. Don't punish yourself for not being the weight you once were, be the best you right now. This has actually given me some confidence back.

    2) Stop putting yourself down. I used to do this constantly and I'm still working on it, but you have to say nice things about yourself. Focusing on the things that are beautiful about me (because we still have beauty even though we're overweight) has also given me back some confidence and has made me a more cheerful person.

    3) Don't sabotage yourself by expecting to lose weight too quickly. Too much pressure will cause you to cave. Start where you feel the strongest (nutrition or exercise) and build on that a little at a time. I find that I can get the eating habits in order faster than exercising, so I have planned healthy meals and worked on that before adding exercise in. The people who lose weight fast don't always keep it off, so slow and steady wins the race. Enjoy the journey instead of stressing yourself out.

    Hope this helps! Feel free to add me :smile:
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,522 Member
    edited July 2017
    Ditto TigerLily0450.

    Well, I'm a guy, don't recall focusing on what was beautiful about me. But I did decide that I was "a worthy cause." Really. That was something I used to say to myself.

    And after I lost 25lbs I went and bought a new suit with a good fit. Game changer.

    Got nothing to add to #3. Can't say it any better than that.
  • jbirdy76
    jbirdy76 Posts: 161 Member
    Well thank you both for the support. The day went well after I had my little emotional breakdown this morning. It got worse before it got better but I just need to plan better for big gatherings like that. I know taking care of myself and trying to look nice will make a big difference I just can't budget the added expense of new clothing right now. I think I will ask for clothing money for gifts though. You both had good insight and support so thank you for that. I am going to have to deal with that a lot here in the next couple weeks because there are lots of family activities coming up and I am actually on vacation visiting family for the next couple weeks. I appreciate the support!
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,868 Member
    I really can't say much towards your post as the answers have been great. I'd just add that as you go through this journey in the weeks, months, and years ahead, remember the forum. I try to get on here daily and almost always find something inspirational. I post frequently as well, where I find a connection.

    That has helped me to view this process as a lifelong journey of learning new behaviors and habits with food, and not just a number to reach and once I'm there I'm "done". Because I was "done" twice before and didn't have the right mind set and habits to master maintenance.

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