Am I wrong for not having the same lifestyle choice?

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  • Jdismybug1
    Jdismybug1 Posts: 443 Member
    @nevadavis1 I am totally respectful of her. I let her share things, I watch or read things she sends me.
    I've told her the lifestyle is not for me. There's a lot of change that comes with it. Changes I will not be forced to make because of someone else's beliefs/lifestyle.
    She's basically telling me that if I'm reading the info and knowing what happens and not becoming a vegan that she has no respect for me what so ever and thinks I am stupid.
    It's funny how I have never ever approached her in that manner. She has done things I think are morally wrong, as in abortions and other things (yes this was 15 years ago, but I'm against it.)
    Did I lose respect for her, and tell her that I think she's stupid? No.
    I was still her friend, I made sure she had someone to be there if there was support she needed.
    I let her be the person she wants to be, and do the things she wants to do without criticism.
    So my choice is to just let things be. Let the dust settle and let her have some space, both for her own good and mine.
    I emotionally am a tad upset, but it doesn't surprise me. I'm letting go of a friendship I've had for 22 years, and someone I was talking to on a daily basis.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    just another example of a vegan being annoying and trying to push their lifestyle on other people.
  • Meaganinsardinia
    Meaganinsardinia Posts: 42 Member
    The Dalai Lama recommends a vegetarian diet but he cannot be vegetarian himself as its not suitable for his body and health.
  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
    I'd order a mixed grill next time I went out with her.

    Everyone makes their own choice of how to eat.
  • misspersiphone
    misspersiphone Posts: 9 Member
    It makes me really sad that a lot of you feel this way about veganism. I know there are people out there who are pushy and not compassionate, but they are the vocal minority. I just hope you can all consider the reason we are so passionate about it is because from our point of view, the more we spread veganism, the fewer creatures have to suffer. I would also like to add that properly planned vegan diets are considered "healthful and nutritionally adequate" according to the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics.
  • kenyonhaff
    kenyonhaff Posts: 1,377 Member
    As others have mentioned, veganism can become something akin to a religion. And as others have noted, it sometimes becomes something that vegans try to "bring the word" to others.

    Unfortunately that can lead to not respecting lifestyle differences and tolerating others who do not hold the same beliefs. And honestly that is not OK. It would not OK to try to sneak meat into her lunch, and it would not be OK for her to sneak meat out of your lunch.

    When someone undergoes a big philosophical change in life, one of the dangers is that he or she alienates those that do not embrace that change. That's not on YOU to do. You can have a certain amount of tolerance and respect differences, but you have no obligation to "convert" or agree. She has the responsibility to understand that most people are not nor will embrace veganism, and has to live life in a way to she can do so either making new friends or tolerating the old omnivorious friends.
  • Fitness_and_FODMAP
    Fitness_and_FODMAP Posts: 72 Member
    I have a few vegan friends, but sadly they are some of the most self righteous, condescending people I've ever met ... I love them to pieces, but they ALWAYS lecture me on my food choices and I have explained to them that I have severe digestive issues, the only fruit I can digest are bananas & blueberries, I can't digest anything from the onion or garlic family, I can't digest soya of any description and I definitely can't eat anything raw (with exception of bananas & blueberries).

    My diet is very rich in fish & meat, rice, gluten free pasta & lactose free dairy, but whenever I'm with my vegan friends, they always try to tell me a vegan diet would make me better and solve my digestive issues, you can't solve IBS you can only manage the symptoms and my diet does that just fine, for the most part.

    Today I tried a NAKD bar, it's classed as raw & vegan; diary, wheat & gluten free and I'm in agony, my clothes are too tight because I suddenly look 8 months pregnant and I can't get off the toilet - the ingredients in the NAKD bar are Cashews, Dates, Raisins & Cocoa Powder and it's killing me, I'd starve to death as a vegan, but vegans still believe that it's best for me.

    So in short, no you are not wrong and I'd politely remind your vegan friend that it's your body and you'll decide how to treat it, plus if everyone suddenly turned vegan there would become a shortage of plant based foods and it'd cause havoc with the eco system - embrace our differences and respect our choices is my view.

    I seriously admire the devotion of veganism, but it simply isn't for everyone.
  • kenyonhaff
    kenyonhaff Posts: 1,377 Member
    You may have to put up some healthy boundaries here.

    First off, it's perfectly OK and NORMAL to be a meat-eating individual and there are plenty of philosophical arguments FOR eating meat. You do NOT have to justify yourself to your friend or anyone else for your right to eat a tuna fish sandwich. Vegans may want to debate this, but in the end, it's not against the law and you are within your right to.

    You also DO NOT have to engage in debate about veganism. Really, your friend has made a position clear. If you really want to explore that further, great. But if you don't, it's time to shift the topic of discussion. And that's reasonable. I don't spend a lot of time with my friends discussing my food intake--it's reasonable to move on. Shift the topic. Find a different thing to do, and so on.

    If she keeps disrespecting your boundaries, ignores the fact you are not interested in being a vegan, or tries to make you out to be a bad person, that's not what a friend does.

  • kenyonhaff
    kenyonhaff Posts: 1,377 Member
    misspersiphone wrote: »
    It makes me really sad that a lot of you feel this way about veganism. I know there are people out there who are pushy and not compassionate, but they are the vocal minority. I just hope you can all consider the reason we are so passionate about it is because from our point of view, the more we spread veganism, the fewer creatures have to suffer. I would also like to add that properly planned vegan diets are considered "healthful and nutritionally adequate" according to the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics.

    A lot of us have had the experience from vegans of judgement and having an agenda pushed on omnivores. Now, saying that, this certainly does NOT apply to all vegans nor is it unique to vegans. But this is an issue many people have encountered. And yes, it's very unfortunate.
  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
    kenyonhaff wrote: »
    misspersiphone wrote: »
    It makes me really sad that a lot of you feel this way about veganism. I know there are people out there who are pushy and not compassionate, but they are the vocal minority. I just hope you can all consider the reason we are so passionate about it is because from our point of view, the more we spread veganism, the fewer creatures have to suffer. I would also like to add that properly planned vegan diets are considered "healthful and nutritionally adequate" according to the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics.

    A lot of us have had the experience from vegans of judgement and having an agenda pushed on omnivores. Now, saying that, this certainly does NOT apply to all vegans nor is it unique to vegans. But this is an issue many people have encountered. And yes, it's very unfortunate.

    Why were they doing it? Do they think you're uneducated where your meat and dairy come from etc?

    I've never had this happen but my friends know that I am educated as to where my food comes from, right down to shellac etc.
    But saying that my friends are liberal pro choice people.
  • chokhas
    chokhas Posts: 33 Member
    I think some'people are just getting too excited about it. for me it is hard to talk to'people radical about anything. let it be food religion or other stuff.
    I am in a mixed'religious marriage and I have friends telling me that if one of us does not covert the kids(if we'have any) will be confused and mocked at school. I just let her talk. both of us have'religious feelings and we want to share both festivals. its like a smile and wave situation but she keeps bringing this up n I keep telling the same that kids if any should be'exposed to both religion and cultures instead of pretending one is not existent .
  • Jdismybug1
    Jdismybug1 Posts: 443 Member
    misspersiphone wrote: »
    It makes me really sad that a lot of you feel this way about veganism. I know there are people out there who are pushy and not compassionate, but they are the vocal minority. I just hope you can all consider the reason we are so passionate about it is because from our point of view, the more we spread veganism, the fewer creatures have to suffer. I would also like to add that properly planned vegan diets are considered "healthful and nutritionally adequate" according to the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics.


    I understand why vegans are so compassionate. I grew up in a household where my father was an animal control officer.
    He always did everything in his power to help, encourage, rehabilitate, and save animals each and every day.
    We were raised eating meat and dairy. We knew where our food came from.
    My friend in fact was telling me she already had no respect for her own mother and thinks she's stupid because she has been educated in vegamism, and does not want to change her lifestyle.
    How does one say that about their own mother? I don't know.
    I'm perfectly respectful and understanding. I understand the morals, I know that one can get the nutrition they need as a vegan, but it also is quite a bit of planning, and extra time, money and energy. I have done some research. I choose my lifestyle choices. I don't have to earn anyone's respect.
  • GrayRider61
    GrayRider61 Posts: 337 Member
    You sound like you're a good friend. It's her loss for being selfish and self-righteous.
  • nevadavis1
    nevadavis1 Posts: 331 Member
    If you're being respectful and kind then the issue is more on her. And seriously, not all vegans act this way!
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