Should I tell my hubby...

CoCoMa
CoCoMa Posts: 904 Member
edited September 2024 in Motivation and Support
Last night while working out, my hub asked me how much did I weigh!! He’s never asked me before, but since joining MFP, we’ve been talking about diet and exercise much more. I asked him to guess and he said that I couldn’t possibly be more than 180lbs! He’s always been in to nutrition and fitness and I’ve been the opposite. I suppose I hide my weight well because even my closest buddies (who are at healthy weights) think I weigh less. It’s been bugging me because when I lose a pound or two, I want to share it, but I figure I’ll be found out later down the road. Should I just come out and say it, or hold on to my secret.

It’s easier to talk with all of you because most of you can relate.

Thanks, Felicia

Replies

  • rosalang
    rosalang Posts: 49 Member
    tell him you are embarassed to say what you weigh now but would like his support and would like to tell him each time you have lost., have confidence, you deserve to feel good about yourself
  • kakes80
    kakes80 Posts: 251 Member
    If you don't want to tell him the exact number that is okay! Guys should know that rule! But also don't hide it when you lose some either! He can be supportive to you even if he doesn't know the number! So tell him how you feel, he is your husband! You will be just fine I know it!
  • Jenscan
    Jenscan Posts: 694 Member
    I don't reveal my weight to anyone except my doctor (this includes anyone I'm dating, married to, or related to). Obviously, based on my ticker, I do share how much I've lost :)

    Do what you are comfortable doing. It is absolutely NOBODY's business if you don't want to divulge it. If someone asks you how much you weigh, say "less than an elephant". If they ask how much you have lost, tell them "I'm getting closer to my goal." If they continue pressing, repeat until they understand you are not willing to share. With your husband, I would sit him down and tell him you're uncomfortable giving him that information and to stop asking you.

    There are a lot of folks on here who do say what they weigh, and that's their choice of course -- I'm not saying they don't have the right to do that as well!
  • hill2302
    hill2302 Posts: 139 Member
    He's your husband. If you can't share something as simple as your weight with him, who can you? If he's asking you and normally wouldn't it's because he's noticed that you've lost. That's a good thing since we guys usually wouldn't say anything until we're pretty damn sure we're right about that. Maybe it's because I'm a man, but I don't get what the big deal is about weight and letting someone close to you know what yours is.

    Plus, I'm of the position that there shouldn't be secrets between a husband and wife.
  • ShannaB83185
    ShannaB83185 Posts: 441 Member
    I use to not tell anyone my weight! Not my fiance, my family, my friends and I would NEVER tell a bunch of strangers on MFP but then one day I just felt I needed to let it all out, get it off my chest in a sense. I needed and wanted someone I could talk to about it. Someone who could relate. I felt like it was a dirty secret and I needed to tell someone. Finally I told one person, then another and another and it just kept going from there on. Now I am proud (not proud of my actual weight) that I can let it out there especially on here so I can relate to people, people can relate to me and we can help each other. It feels good to know I have something in common with someone else and were going through the same thing.
  • Sway
    Sway Posts: 100 Member
    Hey Felicia!

    I think it's great that you two are talking about diet and exercise. You really need to follow your gut on this one. I'm not sure how you're marriage is.... if he's a total sweetheart and could care less about the #, you could tell him. OR just tell him that you want that # private, but you could tell him if you lose a few lbs etc... Or if he isn't a very nice husband and might use it, or throw it back at you at some point.. then I definitely wouldn't give him any ammo. I REALLY hope he's the sweet kind!! But hon, that's your private info!!

    Much love and support with your success!!
  • 500lbs2marathon
    500lbs2marathon Posts: 542 Member
    He's your husband. If you can't share something as simple as your weight with him, who can you? If he's asking you and normally wouldn't it's because he's noticed that you've lost. That's a good thing since we guys usually wouldn't say anything until we're pretty damn sure we're right about that. Maybe it's because I'm a man, but I don't get what the big deal is about weight and letting someone close to you know what yours is.

    Plus, I'm of the position that there shouldn't be secrets between a husband and wife.

    +1
  • AmberLiscous
    AmberLiscous Posts: 644 Member
    What is it with guys wanting to know our weights......does it matter....just tell me i look sexy after all it's not about the numbers :laugh:
  • PanteraGirl
    PanteraGirl Posts: 566 Member
    He's your husband. If you can't share something as simple as your weight with him, who can you? If he's asking you and normally wouldn't it's because he's noticed that you've lost. That's a good thing since we guys usually wouldn't say anything until we're pretty damn sure we're right about that. Maybe it's because I'm a man, but I don't get what the big deal is about weight and letting someone close to you know what yours is.

    Plus, I'm of the position that there shouldn't be secrets between a husband and wife.

    +1


    I agree......I was super embarrassed to tell my hubby cuz I gained alot....but he is really supportive of me....and I can't wait to tell him my progress when i lose....I tell him what I lost to the decimal....and he is my biggest motivator.

    He wouldn't be with you if he didn't love you and the way you look....I wouldn't be worried about it....It may make you feel much better!
  • 500lbs2marathon
    500lbs2marathon Posts: 542 Member
    What is it with guys wanting to know our weights......does it matter....just tell me i look sexy after all it's not about the numbers :laugh:

    Its not a matter of being judged based off a number. If a husband cares enough to ask, why should it be kept a secret?
  • cenafan
    cenafan Posts: 398 Member
    He's your husband. If you can't share something as simple as your weight with him, who can you? If he's asking you and normally wouldn't it's because he's noticed that you've lost. That's a good thing since we guys usually wouldn't say anything until we're pretty damn sure we're right about that. Maybe it's because I'm a man, but I don't get what the big deal is about weight and letting someone close to you know what yours is.

    Plus, I'm of the position that there shouldn't be secrets between a husband and wife.

    totally agree!
  • KyleGA
    KyleGA Posts: 309 Member
    This can go both ways...if he asks, then yes, we should tell (part of marriage). But he needs to understand it's not important what the number on the scale reads. What's important...YOU LOST 2 lbs!!!

    I'm a BIG fan of using the mirror and clothes and state of mind/mood as the judge of how my fitness plan is going. All this focus on weight seems like a lot of unneeded pressure. Just because the scale reads a number you think you want to be, doesn't mean you'll be happy when you get there. Get to a healthy feeling, looking weight and regardless of what that number is.

    Congrats to your healthy lifestyle and way to go with your efforts and weight loss!

    Cheers!
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    If you tell him, what's he going to do - divorce you?

    I'd go with the honesty, no secrets policy. But it is up to you.
  • Jenscan
    Jenscan Posts: 694 Member
    What is it with guys wanting to know our weights......does it matter....just tell me i look sexy after all it's not about the numbers :laugh:

    Its not a matter of being judged based off a number. If a husband cares enough to ask, why should it be kept a secret?

    Is it that they care, or are they just being nosy? If it's the latter, then I would say "I weigh 5 lbs" and leave it at that. Just because I'm married to someone doesn't give them the right to know. This situation is not a matter of trust or something central to a relationship; after all, as you all have pointed out, it's just a number.
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
    I tell my husband everything. He's my husband. He loves me. I trust him. We have no secrets between us.

    I know that not every marriage is as good as mine, but if yours is, then tell him.
  • jenhenning219
    jenhenning219 Posts: 385 Member
    all my friends think i weight about 180 and are shocked when i tell them i weigh
  • ritaadkins2002
    ritaadkins2002 Posts: 371 Member
    I think u should tell the truth to yur husband.....because its about being honest with u...and yur weight. we as humans need to accept that we have some weight that needs to be taking off. just like we pick up the fork and we need to take responsiblities for eating the way we have done. its just like telling yur husband the truth.....and im sure he will understand and u would feel better about yur self when u tell him. Plus it sounds like he loves u and cares for u.....im proud of u
  • SavCal71
    SavCal71 Posts: 350 Member
    He has (presumably) seen you naked. He knows what size you are. Having him know the actual number shouldn't change anything.
  • AmberLiscous
    AmberLiscous Posts: 644 Member
    What is it with guys wanting to know our weights......does it matter....just tell me i look sexy after all it's not about the numbers :laugh:

    Its not a matter of being judged based off a number. If a husband cares enough to ask, why should it be kept a secret?
    honestly my post was an inside joke for a friend of mine on here lol :smile:
  • CoCoMa
    CoCoMa Posts: 904 Member
    You guys are truly awesome, thank you so much for sharing your opinions!!

    My hub is the nicest, sweetest, most non-judgmental guy. We have always been best friends first, and we’re also music partners, workout partners, meditation partners, and partners in everything else. I know that revealing my weight to him has been my own fear, which is holding me back. The logical part of my brain knows that he wouldn’t care about the number, it's the irrational part that seems to take control most of the time *sigh*

    So….I will get over the fear and reveal my weight to him tonight!! Thanks again all for your input, it’s much appreciated!

    Felicia♥
  • CoCoMa
    CoCoMa Posts: 904 Member
    He has (presumably) seen you naked. He knows what size you are. Having him know the actual number shouldn't change anything.

    Not with the lights on LOL!!
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
    He has (presumably) seen you naked. He knows what size you are. Having him know the actual number shouldn't change anything.

    This.

    But at the same time, he knows what size you are so he doesn't have to know the actual number.

    Really it's not a big deal either way.
  • JNick77
    JNick77 Posts: 3,783 Member
    :wink:
    What is it with guys wanting to know our weights......does it matter....just tell me i look sexy after all it's not about the numbers :laugh:

    Its not a matter of being judged based off a number. If a husband cares enough to ask, why should it be kept a secret?
    honestly my post was an inside joke for a friend of mine on here lol :smile:

    That's okay, I figured it out anyway. :wink:
  • PixieThin
    PixieThin Posts: 57
    Haha... Idk about this one. I usually tell my fiance only because I can trust him and I used to not tell him. But if you know how he is around other people and he would blab it to others..idk.

    I used to have friends who would be like well look at her she's over this weight..but she carries it well.. yea.. they weren't all that nice. They did it to piss me off. So it really depends on how you want your hubby to use this new found information.

    If he really cares about you. And you don't want him to know then just tell him all that matters is that I lost 2lbs. I wouldn't know why he would want a real number unless he's a doctor and trying to calculate your BMI. I just don't get it.

    But if you want to tell him it's up to you. Sorry I'm not much help on it. The only reason why I told my guy is because he would tell me it was ok to eat things..when I knew it wasn't but I would anyway..so I got pissed one day and was like I'm 300lbs! I don't need to eat this! So he laid off finally. I mean I've got health issues that I'm dealing with and we both know this. But I don't tell him the exact number everytime I lose it's more like I lost a pound. yay me!
  • AmberLiscous
    AmberLiscous Posts: 644 Member
    :wink:
    :wink:
    What is it with guys wanting to know our weights......does it matter....just tell me i look sexy after all it's not about the numbers :laugh:

    Its not a matter of being judged based off a number. If a husband cares enough to ask, why should it be kept a secret?
    honestly my post was an inside joke for a friend of mine on here lol :smile:

    That's okay, I figured it out anyway. :wink:

    DID NOT :wink: :smooched:
  • boopiejones
    boopiejones Posts: 73
    i think you should tell him. it might actually help motivate you to lose more. say you weigh 180 right now, then you can give him updates and feel good about it. hey, notice anything different? i'm down to 170! 160, etc... i'm sure he will be very supportive and proud of your progress since he is so into fitness himself.
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
    Some things, even between a husband and wife, should be left a "mystery". LOL Does he really need to know? Will providing the information to him somehow improve your relationship? Will not informing him of your weight hinder your relationship? Personally, I tell NO ONE my weight. And Im not overweight. (I think my reservation to share my weight stems from being a tall woman who has always been heavier than all my more petite girlfriends. hehe)
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