How to build a support network

My myself and I. If more come along for the ride...super.

One of the strongest predictors of whether someone will be a healthy weight is whether their friends are a healthy weight - we take our habits from the people around us! I'm still working on mine.

I've lost weight in the past before, without the support of my husband, and eventually, I reverted to eating the same way he did, and put the weight back on. I can't blame him for my choices but he was definitely instrumental in putting daily temptation in my path. This go-round things are different. Having seen for himself the serious health consequences of my bad lifestyle, he has made a real effort to support me, and knowing myself that giving in to temptation can literally kill me, I'm not willing to have temptation in my life. There are simple daily habits which make a huge difference. He keeps treats I don't want to eat in a separate cabinet. He doesn't ask me to cook foods I'm not allowed to eat. He doesn't graze all day - he only eats in front of me if I am also having something. He has a coozy which hides the logo of his ever present Coke can (just seeing the logo makes me crave Coke) and he opens them in the other room (the sound is an instant craving trigger). When I ask to do active things together, he makes an effort not to be whiny about it. When I need to work out in the space he's using for some other purpose, he gets out of my way, again without acting put out.

I never realized until he stopped doing it how many little daily things he used to do to sabotage my progress - just knowing that if you say you need to work out the other person will roll their eyes and act like you're annoying them used to make me hesitate to do what I needed to do. I have enough trouble motivating myself! I don't need additional speed bumps in my way. He hasn't come as far as actually working out himself or changing his own diet, but he's making a strong effort not to make what I'm doing harder.

I think the difference was realizing that me being healthy wasn't just something I was doing, but something he really wanted too.

Now I just have to work on the rest of my family - my mother, who cooks family meals at holidays, has been overweight her entire life, and her idea of a portion is about five times the recommended portion size, not exaggerating. Her only idea for going out socially is going to a restaurant, usually a restaurant with nothing but fried foods. I don't want to avoid spending time with her, but every time we get together, it makes it very difficult to meet my calorie goals - I have to eat an unsatisfying half or quarter portion of heavy fried food, which still puts me over my goals unless I skip meals and add workouts. My new tactic is doing things together without eating - for example, we went to visit the house where she grew up and she showed me around her old neighborhood. Driving in a car together allows us to chat and socialize without plates in front of us.

You have to evaluate the people in your life and who might be able to help (or not). My husband is super supportive; he is in the Army and truly does believe in living a moderately healthful lifestyle. As a result, he acts as my coach: he knows my weight, he encourages me to keep pushing, he tells me when he thinks that a new habit I've introduced isn't sustainable long term, he goes running with me, and he'll do different things that help me just feel not guilty about my new way of eating/living (guilt is a huge problem for me). Ultimately, yes, you do have to be the one driving yourself toward action. However, having someone to act as a coach or accountability partner is remarkably helpful. I am extremely blessed in that my husband is truly my partner in so many areas of my life, now including health.

Another thing is read the forums! Seriously, so much amazing advice, information, tips, and support available here. Read all the stickies, read the success stories, participate when you want to--it really does help. Also, try to find a couple MFP friends who really do comment, encourage, and support you. Even just a few are invaluably inspirational (also make sure you return the favor!).

This doesn't really answer your question, but one thing I've found tremendously helpful is to observe the habits of people who look like I want to look. Friends or otherwise. Observe what really fit people order to eat at the restaurant, or what they do for activity. I spent the weekend with some friends that I assumed were "naturally thin" and just watching what (and how much) they ate was eye opening.