Your fat and Im tired

mrscjwilson
mrscjwilson Posts: 252
edited September 30 in Health and Weight Loss
THIS IS MY EMAIL CONVERSATION WITH A FRIEND: Dont know if I was too harsh on her but Ive heard this so many times from her and have offered all the advice I know how....Weve known each other since I was 12 so she's seen first hand my battle of weight at 309 lbs (my highest) I guess today I was just tired of hearing the same song. But I think I may have pissed her off this time?

(Friend) Hi! How are you? I've gained 10 pounds and am officially in a size 16... I havent been a size 16 since the X-husband years. I'm officially over 200lbs. If I cut my wrist I'm sure gravy would come out. I've come to the conclusion men make me unhappy... and when unhappy I eat or shop... but mostly eat while shopping. I'm fat it's official... all the government would need to do is place the USDA seal of approval on my butt cheek. I've been checking out this book called 21 lbs in 21days... have you heard of it? It's a total detox system.

(Me)Yeah that's a crock of ****….EAT LESS MOVE MORE…PERIOD! That’s it! That’s all! That my friend is the secret everyone wants to know but no one wants hear! Its really very simple, yet hard as hell to do, but still surpriseling enough, easier than any 21days of torture! Log on to MFP (like Ive told you before) and give it a serious try this time, maybe without friends at first (I know you don’t like people LOL)..and maybe gradually build a small support group of strangers, that you WILL become tight with, who are trying to do the same thing as you and wont judge.
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Replies

  • kylee_marie
    kylee_marie Posts: 299 Member
    sometimes it takes a good friend to tell you the things you dont want to hear but need to.... hopefully she will come around! and congrats on your success... WOW
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    Harsh, but I love it. I'm an "in your face honesty" kind of a guy though... so thats right up my aisle.

    Hopefully she takes it well.
  • omid990
    omid990 Posts: 785 Member
    completely unrelated but i just wanted to let you know that your profile pic is UNBELIEVABLE. you look amazing!!!
  • cieraangel
    cieraangel Posts: 88 Member
    A friend can get made, but they come around when they settle down and realize that you're coming from a place of caring.
  • Sgriffin2382
    Sgriffin2382 Posts: 360 Member
    I don't think you were too harsh at all! I know how frustrating it can be when you try to tell someone something over and over that they just don't want to believe.
  • savethecat
    savethecat Posts: 290 Member
    I don't think you were too harsh. Just to the point! You've known the girl since you were 12, that by itself pretty much gives you the right to give it to her straight.

    I hope she does log on to MFP and does it the right way!

    We'll be here for her when the time comes!
  • BeautifulScarsWECHANGED
    BeautifulScarsWECHANGED Posts: 749 Member
    Sometimes the only answer is some tough love. :heart:
  • ceeshelman
    ceeshelman Posts: 77
    I think you were honest. Your friend will be hurt and helped by your words.
  • abeachlady
    abeachlady Posts: 88
    You are a good friend. You are also right on, it's MOVE MORE, EAT LESS!!! It's that simple.
  • FatDadSlim
    FatDadSlim Posts: 497 Member
    If you weren't a true friend you would have just told her to go along with the "21 day" diet. WTG
  • See_Jenn_Run
    See_Jenn_Run Posts: 67
    That almost sounds like a spam email from the friend, you sure her account wasn't hacked? The line about the gravy coming out of the wrist was hilarious in an unsettling way! It's good to have friends that are totally honest. Love your profile pic by the way!
  • piccolarj
    piccolarj Posts: 488 Member
    CJ I don't think that was harsh at all and if she is truely a friend she will know you have her best interest at heart. You are a great person and even though it might have hurt a little she knows what you said was true. She'll come around. *MUAH*
  • rodneyderrick
    rodneyderrick Posts: 483 Member
    Didn't sound too harsh to me? Fantastic job on your weight-loss journey.
  • MayMaydoesntrun
    MayMaydoesntrun Posts: 805 Member
    Harsh, but I love it. I'm an "in your face honesty" kind of a guy though... so thats right up my aisle.

    Hopefully she takes it well.

    Love your profile pic...very sexy.
  • Trixtabella
    Trixtabella Posts: 471 Member
    I wish someone said this to me before I started on the Cambridge diet. Harsh but fair in my opinion.
  • DanOhh
    DanOhh Posts: 1,806 Member
    Tough Love.
  • Diana35bha
    Diana35bha Posts: 292 Member
    You've got to be honest with people but some just don't want to hear!! But well done for saying it, and WELL DONE on your loss - your pic looks amazing!!

    Di :smile:
  • LoraEllen
    LoraEllen Posts: 81
    Nothing wrong with what you said...........she just may not be in a place to hear it unfortunately! There are people that just want to talk or complain but really don't want to do anything about it. The next time I had a conversation with her and she ranted like that I would ask...........do you just want to vent or do you actually want to do something about it and change your lifestyle. Then, the ball is in her court to answer. Depending on her answer....you move on. If the answer is oh I just want to vent then all you have to do is listen and discard. If she really wants to make a change then she'll take your advice. OMG you are absolutely living proof that it works! Amazing pics. I have a negative friend like this and that is my approach when she rants. It takes the stress off me getting frustrated and trying to help her when she really doesn't want it. By the way..........she's my coworker so I am so close to her I almost HAVE to listen to it. Outside of work she probably wouldn't be my choice of friends because I try to surround myself with positive people. But she is a good person....just needs a lot of love.

    Have a great day,
    Lora
  • joburridge
    joburridge Posts: 16
    It wasnt that Harsh.... you could have said a hell of a lot more :) A-M-A-ZING photos of you!! well done x
  • rrrbecca11
    rrrbecca11 Posts: 477
    ...better harshed than dead from heart attack, cancer, diabetes, etc. Those we love we try to really help, not just go along with. Kudos, girl.
  • lyngoode
    lyngoode Posts: 197 Member
    Not too harsh, I wish someone would have told me earlier. Congrats on your success so far, you look fabulous!!!
  • HaleyAlli
    HaleyAlli Posts: 911 Member
    Hahaha I love it!! Maybe she'll try it this time!!
  • photorific
    photorific Posts: 577 Member
    I have a sneaky suspicion that, even if you did piss her off this time, you didn't tell her anything she (or any of us) didn't already know. How many "quick fixes" did we all have before coming to the oh-so-sad realization that we had to give up smothered french fries and actually work out in order to send the body fat packing along with the fries? I'm sure she's going through the same thing. One day it will finally click. And one day she'll realize that you were right, and trying to be supportive rather than patronizing her with what she wanted to hear. In short - if she's upset, she'll get over it... probably quicker than you think.
  • alynnbennett
    alynnbennett Posts: 182
    Love your honesty!!!
  • amandal15
    amandal15 Posts: 108 Member
    Well, my first thought is wow! Look at you! If I was your friend I wouldn't be thinking about a fad diet...I would be wanting to know all of your secrets. She may have her feelings hurt, but eventually she will realize that what you are saying is true! Good for you! Shoot it to her straight.
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    Harsh, but I love it. I'm an "in your face honesty" kind of a guy though... so thats right up my aisle.

    Hopefully she takes it well.

    Love your profile pic...very sexy.

    lol... its for booty Thursday, a game my friends are playing. I had a bit to drink and thought it would be funny ;)
  • MayMaydoesntrun
    MayMaydoesntrun Posts: 805 Member
    Harsh, but I love it. I'm an "in your face honesty" kind of a guy though... so thats right up my aisle.

    Hopefully she takes it well.

    Love your profile pic...very sexy.

    lol... its for booty Thursday, a game my friends are playing. I had a bit to drink and thought it would be funny ;)

    Lol, love it! ;)
  • CaptainMFP
    CaptainMFP Posts: 440 Member
    Sometimes the only answer is some tough love. :heart:

    Yep, that's what's it's called. Sad too many people today don't respond well to tough love. I think you did right by your friend AND by yourself.
  • runnermel
    runnermel Posts: 278
    think what you told your friend was perfect! and omg.......you are such an inspiration!! i wish my friend would be that honest with me instead of telling me it is stress, you can't tell, and other crap like that!

    and you look AMAZING!!!!!!!! HOT MOMMA!
  • mandeiko
    mandeiko Posts: 1,657 Member
    I'm all for tough love!
This discussion has been closed.

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