read/post simple funnies

oregonlady
oregonlady Posts: 2,743 Member
edited September 2024 in Chit-Chat
:laugh: how about a thread where we post short, simple funnies?:laugh:

i thought this cute:heart:


One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only
to find the place packed with young people. At 40, we felt
old, but before we could make a dignified exit, a tall,
handsome man approached us.

"Perhaps we were being a little hasty in leaving," I
thought.

Then with a big smile, the man extended his hand to one of
my friends and said, "Hello. Remember me? You were my third
grade teacher."

Replies

  • oregonlady
    oregonlady Posts: 2,743 Member
    :laugh: how about a thread where we post short, simple funnies?:laugh:

    i thought this cute:heart:


    One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only
    to find the place packed with young people. At 40, we felt
    old, but before we could make a dignified exit, a tall,
    handsome man approached us.

    "Perhaps we were being a little hasty in leaving," I
    thought.

    Then with a big smile, the man extended his hand to one of
    my friends and said, "Hello. Remember me? You were my third
    grade teacher."
  • oregonlady
    oregonlady Posts: 2,743 Member
    "You know you're on a diet when cat food commercials make you
    hungry." --Andy Bumatai :laugh: :laugh:
  • tabchanges
    tabchanges Posts: 1,435 Member
    You're American and you have to go to the bathroom.
    Before you walk into the bathroom, you're American.
    After you leave the bathroom, you're American.
    What are you while you're in the bathroom?
















    European! (You're a pee-in')
  • sarabear
    sarabear Posts: 864 Member
    You're American and you have to go to the bathroom.
    Before you walk into the bathroom, you're American.
    After you leave the bathroom, you're American.
    What are you while you're in the bathroom?
















    European! (You're a pee-in')

    LMAO!
  • oregonlady
    oregonlady Posts: 2,743 Member
    i had to think twice about this one:tongue::tongue:



    Our first day at a resort my wife and I decided to hit the
    beach. When I went back to our room to get something to
    drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed. I grabbed
    my cooler and was on my way out when I paused and asked,
    "Can we drink beer on the beach?"

    "Sure," she said, "but I have to finish the rest of the
    rooms first."
  • TROUBLE2
    TROUBLE2 Posts: 6,660 Member
    a tin of muffins are in the oven, one muffin says to the other "ITS hotter than hell in here"

    the other muffin says "WHOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
    a tin of muffins are in the oven, one muffin says to the other "ITS hotter than hell in here"

    the other muffin says "WHOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    LOL!
  • Anna_Banana
    Anna_Banana Posts: 2,939 Member
    The Maid asked for a raise. The Madam was very upset about this and asked: "Now Maria, why do you want an increase?" Maria: "Well Madam, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you." Madam: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria: "The Master said so." Madam: "Oh." Maria: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you." Madam: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than I?" Maria: "The Master did." Madam: "Oh." Maria: "My third reason is that I am a better lover than you." Madam (very upset now): "Did the Master say so as well?" Maria: "No Madam, the gardener did." SHE GOT THE PAY RAISE
  • Anna_Banana
    Anna_Banana Posts: 2,939 Member
    There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage
  • Anna_Banana
    Anna_Banana Posts: 2,939 Member
    An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
  • oregonlady
    oregonlady Posts: 2,743 Member
    The Maid asked for a raise. The Madam was very upset about this and asked: "Now Maria, why do you want an increase?" Maria: "Well Madam, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you." Madam: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria: "The Master said so." Madam: "Oh." Maria: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you." Madam: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than I?" Maria: "The Master did." Madam: "Oh." Maria: "My third reason is that I am a better lover than you." Madam (very upset now): "Did the Master say so as well?" Maria: "No Madam, the gardener did." SHE GOT THE PAY RAISE

    i like this one the best of your 3 today, but all were cute.:tongue:

    thank you anna!:flowerforyou:
  • heal4444
    heal4444 Posts: 709 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Great thread and funny posts!! :laugh: :laugh:
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