Freind's wedding on Saturday - feeling anxious :-S

Natasha7t2
Natasha7t2 Posts: 129
edited September 30 in Motivation and Support
My friend is getting married on Saturday and copious amounts food and alcohol will be flowing free-of-charge. I'm so worried that after a week of being amazingly disciplined and not wanting to eat junk (and feeling really proud of myself and my iron will), I will feel overwhelmed with the desire to indulge and one nibble will lead to a few dozen nibbles - one drink will lead to 10 drinks.

I know myself well. I know that unless I stick rigidly to my weight-loss plan, one bad day can throw me off-track for weeks/months. I also know how easily I'm tempted when it comes to wedding food. My intentions to be good will be good, but as soon as I give way to just one nibble, all tends to go to pot. I don't want to wake up on Sunday morning feeling terrible because I've veered off my diet.

I would be so grateful for any advice and support. Please be as harsh with your advice as needed. The tough approach works very well with me (last time it was the reason for me losing 3 and a half stone - 49 lbs / 22.225 kg)

Thank you!
«1

Replies

  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    can you eat very light all day and exercise to gain extra calories? Then you would be able to go out and enjoy yourself. This works for me I don't know if it works for everyone if this doesn't work for you then..............


    " you better not go and drink and stuff your face or you will gain 15lbs back in one night!!!" I hope this is tough enough haha
  • thetrishwarp
    thetrishwarp Posts: 838 Member
    Go enjoy! A wedding is a wedding.

    BUT be incredibly strict with yourself the following day. Don't get off the wagon. Take it as one day of indulgence, get up Sunday morning...and stick right back to it!
  • Jenscan
    Jenscan Posts: 694 Member
    What I typically do in cases like this is I eat right before I go so I'm not hungry then I allow myself ONE item. That way, you can still have a little bit, but not go overboard.
  • mandygal13
    mandygal13 Posts: 219 Member
    I think the most important thing is what you've already admitted to yourself. One nibble and you'll be off. Just don't take that first nibble. If someone wants to push you to do it, ask them if they have your long-term interest at heart. I imagine there will be some food there that will allow you to eat and be satisfied. Just make great choices, and every time you make one, envision yourself in a size smaller next month for having made that decision. Take a picture with with that shows yourself at your heaviest. If you're tempted, look at the picture. Remind yourself where you came from and where you're going. Your self-awareness is awesome. Take pride that you know yourself, and do what you have to in order to stay on track. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
  • KTGator
    KTGator Posts: 78
    I'd suggest eating before you go. That way you don't feel super hungry at the wedding, which will keep you from eating too much.

    Good luck!
  • MicMar66
    MicMar66 Posts: 186 Member
    Hi Natasha-
    First of all...have a wonderful time at your friend's wedding! What I do if I know I am going to be somewhere that I will indulge more than my "diet" allows is exercise more the days leading up to it. I like to try to be between 3 and 500 calories short for the day for atleast 2 days beforehand. Then, if after logging everything I ate, subtracting my "extra calories" I am still over I try to work them off by exercising more in the days after. Simply stated I try to make my WEEKS worth of calories average out. This has been working very well for me and I get to "enjoy" BBQ's, birthday parties, etc.
    Good luck to you!
  • edward1973
    edward1973 Posts: 67
    Its all about moderation no harm in having a small treat but break it up with water and healthy nibbles - dont beat yourself up too bad if your naughty its what you do the next day thats matters,

    Just remember its the end goal to look forward to lots of little steps on the way
  • bmmadden
    bmmadden Posts: 499 Member
    Earn yourself some extra calories by exercising that morning, eat light before, and then enjoy and add some dancing in for extra calorie burn, maybe only indulge in just one drink though and then the next day workout hard and some extra water and youll be fine!
  • Ha, why are we all so much alike? I feel that many of us throw out the baby with the bath water. Why give up after one bad day, why give yourself that out? If you have a bad day, deal with it, learn from it and move on.

    I would suggest that you plan your meals ahead of time, promise not to snack between meals so that you can enjoy the food that you do have. Count calories and be sure to eat a smaller breakfast and bring something light for lunch. Enjoy the hell out of your dinner (supper) and perhaps even some cake. You may be able to get your exercise in if you get up a bit early to set the day off right. As for drinks, offer to drive and stop at two and again enjoy the two you do have!

    If this is not how it plays out.... deal with it and move on. :huh:
  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
    Work out and eat a big, healthy meal before you go - AND DON'T DRINK! if one wil lead to 10, you'll feel like crap the next day and that will derail you for that day and maybe a few days after!!
  • laddyboy
    laddyboy Posts: 1,565 Member
    In situation like this I use the 2 bite rule. 2 bites and I'm done. This limits the damage but also rewards you for your efforts. Believe it or not a little treat can actually bump up your metabolism...especially when you plateau.
    No the Alcohol will slow down your metabolism for a few days. If you're ok with that then a drink won't kill you. Just depends what mindset you're it. Personally when I'm doing a 90 days program...like P90X, I won't touch a drop of it.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    I went to a wedding 2 weeks ago and had the same anxiety about it beforehand. I did a good workout in the morning and ate a light breakfast and lunch. When it was time for drinks/dinner at the reception, I found that I didn't even want nearly as much as I would have in the past! I allowed myself one drink, a few small appetizers, a balanced dinner (most wedding halls serve steak/ chicken/ fish with mashed potatoes and veggies anyway, don't they? ) and one piece of cake. I was perfectly content and stayed under my calorie goal for the day too!

    Keep your new mindset in check and you'll do fine! And if all else fails, boogie down on the dance floor to burn the extra calories!
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
    In situation like this I use the 2 bite rule. 2 bites and I'm done. This limits the damage but also rewards you for your efforts. Believe it or not a little treat can actually bump up your metabolism...especially when you plateau.
    No the Alcohol will slow down your metabolism for a few days. If you're ok with that then a drink won't kill you. Just depends what mindset you're it. Personally when I'm doing a 90 days program...like P90X, I won't touch a drop of it.

    Love this advice. I would add IF you decide to drink, only have one drink... after that, at least for me, it's all downhill... I have no willpower to stop munching away. Another strategy that has worked for me is not only planning ahead but also bringing my own food to nibble on, like carrots, protein bars, low fat cheese, bottles of water and/or propel. If you know what's on the menu for dinner make sure you have an idea of serving size beforehand as well. I hope this helps!!
  • atay18
    atay18 Posts: 39 Member
    Also, if you are going to drink, have a vodka and soda or somethine else low cal. Drinking my calories has been a huge problem for me, but simply switching to vodka or Michelob Ultra makes a huge difference.
  • sgoldman328
    sgoldman328 Posts: 379 Member
    I just had a very similar incident. The morning of, I woke up early and worked out for quite awhile. Then I ate lightly before so I wouldn't be starving and finally made smart choices during the wedding itself. Good luck!
  • Natasha7t2
    Natasha7t2 Posts: 129
    can you eat very light all day and exercise to gain extra calories? Then you would be able to go out and enjoy yourself. This works for me I don't know if it works for everyone if this doesn't work for you then..............


    " you better not go and drink and stuff your face or you will gain 15lbs back in one night!!!" I hope this is tough enough haha

    I would love to spend Sunday morning at the gym but it won't be possible as I have plans that I need to put first. Great advice though and it would definitely work for me. I will make up for things on Monday!
    Loving the tough talk! I will turn it into a mantra for Saturday :-D
  • Natasha7t2
    Natasha7t2 Posts: 129
    Go enjoy! A wedding is a wedding.

    BUT be incredibly strict with yourself the following day. Don't get off the wagon. Take it as one day of indulgence, get up Sunday morning...and stick right back to it!

    Thank you! You are so right. I'm obsessing over wedding food instead of thinking about one of my best friend's amazing day! I'm focusing on the wrong thing!

    Yep, I like that and I WILL be incredibly strict with myself on Sunday. I've now got that set in my mind whatever happens - i.e. whether I'm good or not.

    Thanks so much :-)
  • Natasha7t2
    Natasha7t2 Posts: 129
    What I typically do in cases like this is I eat right before I go so I'm not hungry then I allow myself ONE item. That way, you can still have a little bit, but not go overboard.

    Ah, yes, I need to learn how to do this. One item is just never enough and something happens to my willpower. It really is all or nothing with me which is annoying as I should be able to just have one item and then stop. I think I'll have to resist even one item, especially at this early stage when I need to stick to the diet like glue.
    Thanks for the suggestion though. Definitely something to work on once i'm past the hardest bit :-)
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    Last weekend I went to Mexico for a relatives quinceanera. There was yummy food, cake and alcohol.

    I decided to take it easy all that week beforehand. I ate of course but kept carbs light at night and worked out extra hard. I weighed in as usual this week and still lost a bit. Just pre-plan it all.
  • Natasha7t2
    Natasha7t2 Posts: 129
    I think the most important thing is what you've already admitted to yourself. One nibble and you'll be off. Just don't take that first nibble. If someone wants to push you to do it, ask them if they have your long-term interest at heart. I imagine there will be some food there that will allow you to eat and be satisfied. Just make great choices, and every time you make one, envision yourself in a size smaller next month for having made that decision. Take a picture with with that shows yourself at your heaviest. If you're tempted, look at the picture. Remind yourself where you came from and where you're going. Your self-awareness is awesome. Take pride that you know yourself, and do what you have to in order to stay on track. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

    You've got me sussed! I'm very black and white when it comes to dieting. I have a 'do it properly or don't do it at all' mentality.
    I have made up my mind to head for the salad bowls and dishes that are carb-free. If there's a full-scale meal I'll ditch the potatoes/rice/pasta (if there are any) and keep it clean. As for alcohol, weeelll, I think I can probably maintain self-control in this area.
    I don't have any pictures of the 'big' me. All I really have to do is pat my fat tum and that should serve to remind me why I losing weight is a must!
    Thank you for the encouraging and very kind words about my self-awareness followed by reminding me to take pride etc! You've given me a much-needed confidence boost.

    THANK YOU!!!!
  • Natasha7t2
    Natasha7t2 Posts: 129
    I'd suggest eating before you go. That way you don't feel super hungry at the wedding, which will keep you from eating too much.

    Good luck!

    Thank you for reminding me to do this! Rather foolishly I was planning to snack on bits of fruit all day IN CASE I went crazy at the wedding and over-indulged. However, this is a sure way to set myself up for failure as there's no way I'd be keeping track of what I was eating at the wedding and it's likely I'd smash past my calorie consumption. Plus I would be binge-eating - not very smart!

    I will definitely eat before I go :-)
  • Natasha7t2
    Natasha7t2 Posts: 129
    Hi Natasha-
    First of all...have a wonderful time at your friend's wedding! What I do if I know I am going to be somewhere that I will indulge more than my "diet" allows is exercise more the days leading up to it. I like to try to be between 3 and 500 calories short for the day for atleast 2 days beforehand. Then, if after logging everything I ate, subtracting my "extra calories" I am still over I try to work them off by exercising more in the days after. Simply stated I try to make my WEEKS worth of calories average out. This has been working very well for me and I get to "enjoy" BBQ's, birthday parties, etc.
    Good luck to you!

    Hello!
    Thank you so much! I'm so excited about my friend's wedding and I'm trying not to focus too much on the food.
    Thanks for the advice. At the moment I'm unable to exercise - that starts next week so I'll try to cut down on my calories tomorrow and on Saturday day time (the wedding is in the evening). I think a strategy like the one you have will work well for me.
    Thanks again :-)
  • Natasha7t2
    Natasha7t2 Posts: 129
    Its all about moderation no harm in having a small treat but break it up with water and healthy nibbles - dont beat yourself up too bad if your naughty its what you do the next day thats matters,

    Just remember its the end goal to look forward to lots of little steps on the way

    Moderation certainly is the key and I like your suggestion to break up the treats with water. I hope there will be healthy nibbles such as salad, crudites, skinless chicken etc. It's fixed in my mind to be good the next day and thereafter which is what I needed. Yep, definitely agree about baby steps.
    Thanks so much :-)
  • Natasha7t2
    Natasha7t2 Posts: 129
    Earn yourself some extra calories by exercising that morning, eat light before, and then enjoy and add some dancing in for extra calorie burn, maybe only indulge in just one drink though and then the next day workout hard and some extra water and youll be fine!

    I won't be able to exercise in the morning but I will be rushing around in the lead-up to the wedding! I will definitely be dancing all night, and the best thing is I don't need to get drunk to dance!
    Thanks for the encouragement :-)
  • Natasha7t2
    Natasha7t2 Posts: 129
    Ha, why are we all so much alike? I feel that many of us throw out the baby with the bath water. Why give up after one bad day, why give yourself that out? If you have a bad day, deal with it, learn from it and move on.

    I would suggest that you plan your meals ahead of time, promise not to snack between meals so that you can enjoy the food that you do have. Count calories and be sure to eat a smaller breakfast and bring something light for lunch. Enjoy the hell out of your dinner (supper) and perhaps even some cake. You may be able to get your exercise in if you get up a bit early to set the day off right. As for drinks, offer to drive and stop at two and again enjoy the two you do have!

    If this is not how it plays out.... deal with it and move on. :huh:

    I know!! You are so right. Love your simple, solid and no-nonsense approach. Note to self: stop being so dramatic! This is the kind of language that really works with me. Kind of snaps me into action instead of wasting time worrying.
    You have helped me shift away from the self-involved weak frame of mind so...

    THANK YOU!!!!
  • Natasha7t2
    Natasha7t2 Posts: 129
    Work out and eat a big, healthy meal before you go - AND DON'T DRINK! if one wil lead to 10, you'll feel like crap the next day and that will derail you for that day and maybe a few days after!!

    Yep, I hear you!
    No way I'm going to get myself into a derailment situation!
    Thank you kindly :-)
  • Natasha7t2
    Natasha7t2 Posts: 129
    In situation like this I use the 2 bite rule. 2 bites and I'm done. This limits the damage but also rewards you for your efforts. Believe it or not a little treat can actually bump up your metabolism...especially when you plateau.
    No the Alcohol will slow down your metabolism for a few days. If you're ok with that then a drink won't kill you. Just depends what mindset you're it. Personally when I'm doing a 90 days program...like P90X, I won't touch a drop of it.

    Wow! 2 bites and you're done??! I'm impressed! That would take serious practice and a will of iron on my part! i know a treat can boost your metabolism but I think it would be safer for me to be in control of what the treat is.

    Out of interest, what if I were to have just a glass of champagne. Would that slow down my metabolism?

    I will def look into the P90X program!

    Thank you :-)
  • Natasha7t2
    Natasha7t2 Posts: 129
    I went to a wedding 2 weeks ago and had the same anxiety about it beforehand. I did a good workout in the morning and ate a light breakfast and lunch. When it was time for drinks/dinner at the reception, I found that I didn't even want nearly as much as I would have in the past! I allowed myself one drink, a few small appetizers, a balanced dinner (most wedding halls serve steak/ chicken/ fish with mashed potatoes and veggies anyway, don't they? ) and one piece of cake. I was perfectly content and stayed under my calorie goal for the day too!

    Keep your new mindset in check and you'll do fine! And if all else fails, boogie down on the dance floor to burn the extra calories!

    Great stuff.Thanks. I'm glad to know I'm not alone here!
    I'm not too anxious about the sit-down meal. I'm more worried about are the nibbles you get at weddings.. you know, the canapes, high fat snacks etc. That's when I tend to lose perspective and stuff my face! I think your advice about keeping my new mindset in check will do the trick!
    Thank you and well done you for getting through your food anxiety at the wedding!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,956 Member
    My friend is getting married on Saturday and copious amounts food and alcohol will be flowing free-of-charge. I'm so worried that after a week of being amazingly disciplined and not wanting to eat junk (and feeling really proud of myself and my iron will), I will feel overwhelmed with the desire to indulge and one nibble will lead to a few dozen nibbles - one drink will lead to 10 drinks.

    I know myself well. I know that unless I stick rigidly to my weight-loss plan, one bad day can throw me off-track for weeks/months. I also know how easily I'm tempted when it comes to wedding food. My intentions to be good will be good, but as soon as I give way to just one nibble, all tends to go to pot. I don't want to wake up on Sunday morning feeling terrible because I've veered off my diet.

    I would be so grateful for any advice and support. Please be as harsh with your advice as needed. The tough approach works very well with me (last time it was the reason for me losing 3 and a half stone - 49 lbs / 22.225 kg)

    Thank you!
    Life is about enjoyment. If you're concerned about diet during one of the most important days of your friends life, then you're not living life. I understand about the "set back" so my advice to you is to make sure you "work your *kitten* off" the morning of the wedding. Go for trying to burn off 1000 calories. That should help.
  • Natasha7t2
    Natasha7t2 Posts: 129

    Love this advice. I would add IF you decide to drink, only have one drink... after that, at least for me, it's all downhill... I have no willpower to stop munching away. Another strategy that has worked for me is not only planning ahead but also bringing my own food to nibble on, like carrots, protein bars, low fat cheese, bottles of water and/or propel. If you know what's on the menu for dinner make sure you have an idea of serving size beforehand as well. I hope this helps!!

    We are very similar indeed. Yep, I also have no willpower to stop munching which is where my anxiety stems from. Planning ahead works for me too. I tried the bringing-my-own-food-to-my-niece's-christening strategy but it didn't work out (kids party food won-ugh!) so I think the best thing for me to do is avoid avoid avoid. I will have forgotten about the food 10 minutes after leaving the wedding anyway!
    Thanks. You have helped a lot :-)
This discussion has been closed.